Snow Day….er, except without the snow. Instead, this 2nd school-free day in a row was sponsored by the Plumber’s Association and the Bloke who Unloaded the Pipe-Clogging Turd. For me it just meant another day battling 4-year-old boredom while struggling to write a manuscript. Oh, right…and yet ANOTHER day that I couldn’t venture out for Lever’s present.
…………………………………………………………………………………………….
So it came right down to the wire. I woke up today, Lever’s birthday, crossing my fingers that the plumbers had sorted things out, that the rain would let up, and that I wouldn’t get desperately lost on the way to procure Lever’s present. In typical form, once I found myself free—thanks to school re-opening, I managed to procrastinate leaving the house with a million meaningless tasks. I finally printed my directions, swallowed all my misgivings, jumped on my bike, and headed towards the forest…
Considering that I had never ventured anywhere significant by myself in the 4 weeks that I had been living here, except by foot....oh right, and then there’s the fact that my route involved a foray in the woods that I had seen only once before….oh, and the fact that the path was of the nature, “Turn left by the old oak tree, then take a right at the thin, pine-needle path, etc.”…oh and of course, the last half of the trip was a combination of bad google map directions and my own improvising….it was a MIRACLE that I found the shop in the next town over 4-5 miles away. I was mud-spattered and wet and more importantly, seriously regretting the white shirt and no bra combination. But hey, bike store, Baby, I made it (and maybe a wet t-shirt discount, too…eh? eh?) I made my purchase, frequently glancing at my watch and acutely aware that I had a mere 40 minutes to pick Noe up from school (and I DID get a discount, but I’m guessing the guy was just trying to butter me up for future sales.)
I sped towards home trying to remember every turn and bend in reverse while ignoring my muddy, aching thighs. It worked for a surprisingly large part of the journey, until a young, camouflage-clad man standing next to a red flag stopped me. Erm…right, gravel road in the middle of nowhere…pretty empty except for the large gathering of military men in a field. He told me that I couldn’t go on, that they were conducting detonations and were “live” at the moment. I put on my best smile and in my American accent pleaded that I couldn’t find my way home unless I could continue on the path. He looked at me sympathetically and walked back to his unit to inquire about the situation. Happily, the British army let me go and I steered around their live ammo.
I did make it to pick up my darling 4-yr-old, a mere 5 minutes late, with the Birthday gift in my backpack. I was tired and very satisfied, having braved the wily paths and the dangerous roads of Farnborough and Fleet, UK….
Cheers my dear Love, Lever. Happy Birthday!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Foisting culture on Farnborough
The Americans have landed!! The Americans have landed!!
;)
And furthermore, this is what we've done....
We barely managed to get in the country before a terrorist threat
virtually dropped the movement of all UK airports to a
standstill....of course customs did give us our own special
run-around. Then, apparently we were distracting enough to cause a
minor accident on the way to Farnborough that same morning. *whew*
Despite that, we're all in one piece.
After a quick morning trip to the pike-y fair and a full day's spent
at the zoo, I got liquored-up with new British friends while our
lovely kids jumped late into the night on a bouncy castle. It was fun
for all.....even for the poor Sweethearts that had to drive us home.
We bought 'em dinner...er...sort of. We actually just paid for our own
and made use of the 2 for 1 dinner deal. They're still in the dark
about that, though. Shhhhh.
We were invited for a very civilized curry with Noe's first school
teacher. Mmmm, quite lovely. A quick trip to the bog then...*whew*
that was stinky....hmmmm....why was that flush so
ineffective?...erm....again....again....again...ERM....Okey,
okey...now we're getting somewhere....Noe, don't play with that globe
over the toi-LET!...*shakes head*...OK, well, Listerine sterilizes,
right?....good as new. Alrightly, then, back to our friends....
As indicated by the accompanying photographs, we are regulars of the
playground that is a mere 100 meters from our front door. Recently the
British boys I met there were quite tickled by the differences in
American and British
language...knickers..panties....trainers..sneakers....boot..trunk....comfort..fabric
softner....hat..lid....tap..faucet....football..soccer. Heard tell as
I was walking away..."I'm gonna meet an American girl and move
there...." ;)
foist (foist) Pronunciation Key
tr.v. foist·ed, foist·ing, foists
1. To pass off as genuine, valuable, or worthy.
2. To impose (something or someone unwanted) upon another by coercion
or trickery.
Definition 1 or 2?? .....You Decide. ;)
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Moments
(pictures taken by P. Nuzzi)
Americans aren't excessive....A quick trot around my little dead-end
street revealed 29 houses and 67 cars (including only the visible
ones-i.e. not the ones in garages or the ones that were out of
town.)....erm.
Noel's best bud, big boy Bryant said to me as we were leaving school
one day: "Can Noel come over and sleep with me again?" *big sweet,
pleading blue eyes*
Me: *gulp* Er....sure. (And this is officially the ONLY time that I am
agreeing to a request like that from a boy....)
More soon (i.e. not the ridiculous amount of time it took for me to
post this.) ;)
Americans aren't excessive....A quick trot around my little dead-end
street revealed 29 houses and 67 cars (including only the visible
ones-i.e. not the ones in garages or the ones that were out of
town.)....erm.
Noel's best bud, big boy Bryant said to me as we were leaving school
one day: "Can Noel come over and sleep with me again?" *big sweet,
pleading blue eyes*
Me: *gulp* Er....sure. (And this is officially the ONLY time that I am
agreeing to a request like that from a boy....)
More soon (i.e. not the ridiculous amount of time it took for me to
post this.) ;)
Friday, July 07, 2006
Notables
To amuse the teachers....
Noel wore her "All American Girl" shirt today.
To the question: "Are you guys kidding?" We responded, "Well, it's old. and she'll grow out of it."
To amuse the lady on that street....
[watching the cars on the street cruise by, while eating our coconut, chocolate chip, almond ice cream]
Noel: "I want one of those." [points to porsche]
Mom: "Mom will never be able to afford one of those, Babe."
[lady laughs and sympathizes...]
To amuse me.....
Noel: (emphatically) I am NOT food!!!
Noel wore her "All American Girl" shirt today.
To the question: "Are you guys kidding?" We responded, "Well, it's old. and she'll grow out of it."
To amuse the lady on that street....
[watching the cars on the street cruise by, while eating our coconut, chocolate chip, almond ice cream]
Noel: "I want one of those." [points to porsche]
Mom: "Mom will never be able to afford one of those, Babe."
[lady laughs and sympathizes...]
To amuse me.....
Noel: (emphatically) I am NOT food!!!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Legal Angle
The latest batch of travels was not glamorous, but still necessary. Destinations in this round included Delaware, Southern Pennsylvania, and upstate New York.
I was pretty worn down by the end of it, and driving was not ameliorated by the pounding, waterfalls that met my windshield for several consecutive hours.
So after an ice cream break (read: sugar injection), I told my 4-year-old that I didn’t feel like driving any more and nonchalantly asked her if she minded taking over. She stopped dead in her tracks and seriously pondered the offer. However, she reminded me, “Mom, I don’t have a driver’s license.”
“Oh, right”, I said.
Noel responded, “Maybe we could get me one soon…”
Sure, I’ll get right on that….. ;)
I was pretty worn down by the end of it, and driving was not ameliorated by the pounding, waterfalls that met my windshield for several consecutive hours.
So after an ice cream break (read: sugar injection), I told my 4-year-old that I didn’t feel like driving any more and nonchalantly asked her if she minded taking over. She stopped dead in her tracks and seriously pondered the offer. However, she reminded me, “Mom, I don’t have a driver’s license.”
“Oh, right”, I said.
Noel responded, “Maybe we could get me one soon…”
Sure, I’ll get right on that….. ;)
Friday, June 09, 2006
The current 'medium' is the old 'biggie'
Today's been a bit of a mixed bag.
My lovely lady entangled putty in her hair and encrusted it on her pajamas, as well. The nightgown is in the trash along with a chunk of her hair. Unfortunately, the blanket and couch cushion with sticky hot pink goop aren’t quite as easily dealt with….
The bridge that never goes up for tall passing boats actually went up today, stopping traffic for a countless amount of time (lost track).
Wendy's changed how they identify their food. SO when I went to order my burger meal, I was asked a new question: medium size? Er...yeah, that sounds about right. Well, it turns out the current "medium" is the old "biggie". My sizes were all screwed up and I got an absurd amount of food. Then I found that they had given me a diet coke (a.) I don't imbibe or eat ANYTHING diet, and b.) I'd rather use coke to take the paint off my Landlady's BMW than put it in my stomach.) SO, right, I returned the drink and gently mentioned that I had been confused about the sizes due to the name change, so please give me a smaller cup, while you're getting me a new drink. The super nice Spanish/Mexican(?) lady brought out an ice cream for Noel minutes later. That made me beam. Well. Until I pondered the last time I had that happen. I went into a store and left with a ridiculous amount of complementary gifts after making a small donation to poor mothers (it was just about Mother's Day). I felt super happy that day, until I learned that the culmination of the previous 8 months, including flying myself out to meet people, landed me a job offer earning about half my current salary in an unscrupulous pharma-related company. Happy was efficiently usurped by forlorn. So I braced for more bad and moved on….
Currently, the estate agent trying to rent my apartment can’t leave me be, neither can the Landlady. Neither has a f*cking clue, and they both have made such a rigmarole out of procuring door keys, due to several blunders drawn out over the past 5 days. They keep trying to evoke sympathy out of me by discussing how many children she has (5), as well as how many houses she owns. Great….so she’s rich and propagating all of her stupid genes? Keep talking that’s helping a lot. Estate Agent: “You would die if you saw where she [the Landlady] lives.” Get the f@ck out of my house. Please.
My lovely lady entangled putty in her hair and encrusted it on her pajamas, as well. The nightgown is in the trash along with a chunk of her hair. Unfortunately, the blanket and couch cushion with sticky hot pink goop aren’t quite as easily dealt with….
The bridge that never goes up for tall passing boats actually went up today, stopping traffic for a countless amount of time (lost track).
Wendy's changed how they identify their food. SO when I went to order my burger meal, I was asked a new question: medium size? Er...yeah, that sounds about right. Well, it turns out the current "medium" is the old "biggie". My sizes were all screwed up and I got an absurd amount of food. Then I found that they had given me a diet coke (a.) I don't imbibe or eat ANYTHING diet, and b.) I'd rather use coke to take the paint off my Landlady's BMW than put it in my stomach.) SO, right, I returned the drink and gently mentioned that I had been confused about the sizes due to the name change, so please give me a smaller cup, while you're getting me a new drink. The super nice Spanish/Mexican(?) lady brought out an ice cream for Noel minutes later. That made me beam. Well. Until I pondered the last time I had that happen. I went into a store and left with a ridiculous amount of complementary gifts after making a small donation to poor mothers (it was just about Mother's Day). I felt super happy that day, until I learned that the culmination of the previous 8 months, including flying myself out to meet people, landed me a job offer earning about half my current salary in an unscrupulous pharma-related company. Happy was efficiently usurped by forlorn. So I braced for more bad and moved on….
Currently, the estate agent trying to rent my apartment can’t leave me be, neither can the Landlady. Neither has a f*cking clue, and they both have made such a rigmarole out of procuring door keys, due to several blunders drawn out over the past 5 days. They keep trying to evoke sympathy out of me by discussing how many children she has (5), as well as how many houses she owns. Great….so she’s rich and propagating all of her stupid genes? Keep talking that’s helping a lot. Estate Agent: “You would die if you saw where she [the Landlady] lives.” Get the f@ck out of my house. Please.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Girlfriends
The sit-n-spin. A classic. Even better when you can pile on with your gilrfirend, too! (I want an adult size sit-n-spin....the mind boggles at the fun that could be had with that!!)
Friday, June 02, 2006
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Crumbs
Well, this blog has certainly been living up to its name. If you've been depending on this for reading, you might as well be licking rocks for sustenance. Sorry 'bout that, guys. ;)
Realistic expectations are important in life. But could you blame me for thinking that a STATE PARK might have:
-Access to nature without spending more than the gas it took to get there—certainly not a hefty additional $9. Oh, when forests were free....
-The ability to explore aforementioned nature without getting knocked down by rabid boys on scooters (More specifically, Noe bloodied her elbow, not 3 minutes out of the car. In a fucking large prairie-like field, do you think it’s possible to steer around a little 4-year-old girl? Not enough SPACE, you say? *fierce Mom-growl*)
-A reasonable amount of geese poop-free grass. (I shudder to think about the bottom of our shoes...)
-Hiking without f*cking pavement (What happened to that 3 mile hike, Ms. Entrance Fee Snatcher? Contrary to your ascertains, Ms. Park Ranger claims there is NO 3 mile hiking path. Bitch.)
-Bird chirping without the bass-pumping background of "Gasolina"
While I'm here, I'd like to note that the fun of being on a completely suck-ass, chain-smoking, half-drunken co-ed softball team, is that you are practically the hero when you score that one, critical, pride-saving hit (Note: the score was 15-1 last night, after 5 innings....the game was cut short since they were winning by so much.) :D
And lastly, it was a year ago that I met my first English blogger in person. I think I can safely say that it has been life-changing, and an amazing ride ever since. I wanna be in his arms again....now if blogger could just be updated with teletransporting capabilities, I'd be all set....
Realistic expectations are important in life. But could you blame me for thinking that a STATE PARK might have:
-Access to nature without spending more than the gas it took to get there—certainly not a hefty additional $9. Oh, when forests were free....
-The ability to explore aforementioned nature without getting knocked down by rabid boys on scooters (More specifically, Noe bloodied her elbow, not 3 minutes out of the car. In a fucking large prairie-like field, do you think it’s possible to steer around a little 4-year-old girl? Not enough SPACE, you say? *fierce Mom-growl*)
-A reasonable amount of geese poop-free grass. (I shudder to think about the bottom of our shoes...)
-Hiking without f*cking pavement (What happened to that 3 mile hike, Ms. Entrance Fee Snatcher? Contrary to your ascertains, Ms. Park Ranger claims there is NO 3 mile hiking path. Bitch.)
-Bird chirping without the bass-pumping background of "Gasolina"
While I'm here, I'd like to note that the fun of being on a completely suck-ass, chain-smoking, half-drunken co-ed softball team, is that you are practically the hero when you score that one, critical, pride-saving hit (Note: the score was 15-1 last night, after 5 innings....the game was cut short since they were winning by so much.) :D
And lastly, it was a year ago that I met my first English blogger in person. I think I can safely say that it has been life-changing, and an amazing ride ever since. I wanna be in his arms again....now if blogger could just be updated with teletransporting capabilities, I'd be all set....
Sunday, May 28, 2006
HUGE shoutout....
.....to the lovely blogger Rebekah (listed as "ultracool" over there on the side *wags head in that directon and winks*)
The lady just got hitched despite duress from other parts of her life.
She is an amazing lady; Erik is a lucky fellow.
Cheers to a long and happy one! *raises glass*
The lady just got hitched despite duress from other parts of her life.
She is an amazing lady; Erik is a lucky fellow.
Cheers to a long and happy one! *raises glass*
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
4-year-old-wisdom:Pets
about the fish....
"Devon takes a bath ALL day!"
about one of the animals we visited this weekend....
"Dogs LIKE to go up your dress!"
"Devon takes a bath ALL day!"
about one of the animals we visited this weekend....
"Dogs LIKE to go up your dress!"
Friday, April 14, 2006
Lexicon Laughs
My favorite new term: "recreational genomics". Apparently, new science companies have emerged—like DNAPrint—which will sequence your DNA to determine your ethnic ancestry for a "small" fee. The angle: the results could allow you to check minority boxes on financial aid forms for college, for example.
Of course, there are excellent reasons for undergoing genetic testing, as well...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night, Noel had me rolling with laughter.
She told me, "I'm SICK!!! There's a thorn in my tummy! Call the fire department!!"
Raucous laughter was probably NOT the proper "good" Mommy response, but I couldn't help myself. I dialed my brother the doctor, once my snorting subsided...
Of course, there are excellent reasons for undergoing genetic testing, as well...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night, Noel had me rolling with laughter.
She told me, "I'm SICK!!! There's a thorn in my tummy! Call the fire department!!"
Raucous laughter was probably NOT the proper "good" Mommy response, but I couldn't help myself. I dialed my brother the doctor, once my snorting subsided...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
