Friday, March 23, 2007

The most appreciated invention. (IMHO)

TP. Bog roll. Toilet paper.

It’s a lovely thing, especially mine because it has a gorgeous lavender scent which permeates the bathroom and beyond.

I got to thinking this morning about what people used before Joseph C. Gayetty invented TP in 1857 (a product that has his name imprinted on every square…the man was obviously clever, but with ideas that were not so well thought-out). I was pondering the nice plant we found in Virginia Waters with undersides to every leaf that rivaled that of a sheep or Malden Mills best polar fleece for softness. Although, I couldn’t imagine that sort of luxury would be available regularly when you would need to do your business out in the woods. An then there would be the unlucky soul that managed to pick the prickly, or even worse, itch-generating leaf. Really, with encouragement like that, it’s amazing the first bog paper didn’t come about until 1857 IMHO. And then there are other pleasant thoughts along those lines…Northern Tissue advertised “splinter-free” TP in1935, insinuating that there was (cheaper) take-your-chances, splinter-infested toilet paper available. Mmmm…that’s a treat, “No wood fragments up the bum today, Mom!”

Of course all these ponderings were sponsored by this book, in which young orphans were so maltreated and neglected that they used their hands to clean their bums and then wiped their soiled hands on the walls….

Now go on, what invention do you particularly fancy, then?

7 comments:

rebekah said...

i rather fancy maltesers :: hint hint :: :P

Anonymous said...

I appreciate cameras... but even more primitive than that, I appreciate those who invented the cooking methods. Who thought to grill meat over fire? That person is sheer genius.

Jay said...

I can't imagine anything more useful than toilet paper.....


I'm sort of fond of my footbath, though.

searchingforMrDarcy said...

well you grabbed the best one, but I am also really fond of the toothbrush. :)

Kat E said...

Sorry to the guys reading this, but since TP was already taken, I'm going to have to say that tampons were a pretty good idea...I hate to imagine the early incarnations of those! I just hope they were always "splinter-free".

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

Rebekah:
Funny timing of your hint... :D

DoF:
Had you said anything but food and cameras, I would have known someone was posting in your place. :) cheers!

Jay:
Silly lady. :D (I DO know what you mean, though.) ;)

SFMD:
Somehow, I'm not surprised. You are right though...toothbrushes are GOOD.

Kat E:
yes and YES!! :D

Lever said...

Well if you want to wipe your arse on leaves, I'm sure we can get one of those fluffy plants in the garden for you...

Best invention... The kettle! whether an electric plug-in one or the type you hang over a fire, similar to Fishlamp's; perfecto.