Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Bumblefucking about

So, I thought I should update you guys on the cheating boy situation from this post. Quite soon after the slip of my tongue revealed the philandering nature of her boyfriend, J asked me to keep an eye out on the boy (not a hard task, considering a glance out of my window would do the trick.) The philandering boyfriend (PBF, from here out) was up to his tricks straight away. Although I was gone to NYC most of the weekend, I managed to pull into my driveway at a late night hour that directly coincided with PBF arriving home, driving the other girl's (OG) car. Now because my lovely friend J was pondering marrying PBF after their 7-year-relationship, I decided that I would humor her request for a report-she should at least be fully informed about what she was signing onto. As J and I were talking, PBF and OG got back into his car and drove off. J knew where they were going and decided to seize the opportunity to make the 2 extremely uncomfortable....she drove by them in the opposite direction, and waved and honked in a nice, friendly way while flipping her long, blonde locks.
In the end J and PBF ended their relationship and lovely J began the mourning process (She proceeded to lose 7 pounds in the next week, stopped sleeping, engaged in overthinking everything...ya know the routine.) *sigh* Poor girl. Cheating is just one of those things that I fucking hate.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005 Rebekah for This one….*wink*

Seven Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1.) travel, travel, travel (Turkey, Alaska, Australia, Hawaii, Colorado, a tropical forest, etc.…….)
2.) crochet something for good (i.e. some sexy top/skirt with the holes in all the right places…..reference: Heather Graham’s hot dress in Austin Powers) [Note: crochet for evil involves potholders and Kleenex-box covers, mainly]
3.) see Noel grow up, not turn out weird, and still want to hang-out with me
4.) have a job where I am respected and earn enough money (see #1)
5.) make a noticeable difference in a worthy organization. I’m thinking non-for-profit, maybe medically-related…
6.) live in a beautiful reclusive place in the wilderness and write
7.) marry my best friend

Things I Can Do
1.) run a radio show-including programming and dialogue
2.) run a polyacrylamide gel
3.) write a medical manuscript and have it published
4.) tie a knot with a cherry stem….no hands, just tongue
5.) make a wedding veil
6.) play the clarinet
7.) throw a baseball like a boy (I’ve been hit on for my softball skillz. *wink*)

Things I Cannot Do
1.) go a week without bruising myself
2.) whistle
3.) show up on time
4.) stop myself from laughing inappropriately, or control the volume of my voice/laughter
5.) call people when I should
6.) play happy, when I’m really not
7.) fake an orgasm

Seven Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex
1.) Will dance with me (oh right, that was out by the 2nd guy I dated *wink*) Nerdiness/Cleverness
2.) Kindness (especially to animals, small children, and ugly people)
3.) Similar humor appreciation
4.) Being tall and fit, and having nice hands
5.) Being into words
6.) Being into music (‘specially the stuff I like *wink*)
7.) Being able to fix things…e.g. computers, bikes, me

Seven Things I Say Most Often
1.) Wha?
3.) I like it, a LOT.
4.) yuP.
5.) Solid.
6.) FUCK.
7.) Daft prick! (Well not really, but I’ve been meaning to integrate that into my speech for ages, now. *wink*)

Celebrity Crushes (although I’d pick some solid, regular time alone with Lever, over any of these boys/girl)
1.) tobey mcguire
2.) bill murray
3.) ralph fiennes
4.) giovanni ribisi
5.) minnie driver
6.) cilian murphy
7.) john malkovich

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The first time...

...I read your comment on my blog, I thought, "Oh, cool-a British dude."

...I read your blog, I thought "Dear god, is this the same language I speak?" Crisps, boot-of-a-car, bollocks, lorry, lilo, queue, banger racing, wedding tackle, titting-about, gaffs, baggies...good god—where's my urban dictionary?!? Of course, some of the confusion must have just been due to a broken "u" on the keyboard, because some of the words were spelled close to the proper spelling...cheque, manouevre, colour, honour, favour...but with an extra vowel tacked in there.

...I read your email I was school-girl happy. Mmmmm, a nice, clever, polite boy is emailing me...

...I got your text, I almost crashed my car, trying to find my phone and decrypt why it was making strange noises (I was not a texting-girl.) But the words made me squeal as I swerved down the highway, trying to read it...

...I heard your voice on my answering machine, I had the compulsion to practice saying your name over and over in your accent. (I still don't have it quite right.)

...We spoke on the phone, I could hardly understand what you were saying. Although, that was partly my fault for swooning over the sound of your voice—that sort of thing shuts down my brain function, including word comprehension. It was a v. short phone call. :D

...I laid eyes on you, I was nervous as f@%k and pretty damn tired to boot. Fortunately, you're cool about handling small talk without much reinforcement. ;)

...We hugged, I thought, "He's definitely my type of boy."

...We held hands, I was like a giggly school girl. It still sends me into wild bouts of uncontrollable happiness to think about it.

...You kissed my cheek, I was on some kind of high....

SO yeah, maybe next time we meet up, we can get to second base. (Second base was considered groping, right? It's been too long since middle school)...*wicked grin* You free to cross the Atlantic, babe? Soon, pahhleaze? *eye flutter*

Anyways, my sweetheart HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Walk it off

I ran in a half marathon recently.
(where ran= moved barely faster than a walk for 7 miles and then interspersed jogging and walking for the last 6.1)

Here is the main conclusion that I came to:


supported by....

They find their running time more important than:
a.) not littering (hence THOUSANDS of cups and food wrappers all over the course)
b.) using a toilet (I witnessed many in-the-woods style piss-breaks and heard tell of some that just went in their pants.)
c.) consuming non-engineered foods such as "goo" and "aminovital" (code for nasty-ass wanna-be food products that you should never, ever subject your poor, harmless taste buds to)

Here's my defense for why I did it anyways: (athough I certainly did NOT engage in littering or peeing in weird places)
a.) I'll try *just about anything* once
b.) They had bands. MANY, many bands.
c.) My siblings all did it.
d.) It was on Virginia beach....beauuuuutiful....

The funny part is, there have been consequences. I trained for this foolish stunt (although not enough, mind you) by running the 0.1 mile loop that I live on. Yeah, laugh it up. I *DID* have to run around like a *gerbil*, completing the loop 70 times for 7 miles, for example. The funny thing is, now there's this flock of biddies that have taken to fast-walking my loop. They're a group of gossiping, older ladies that have cumulatively lost 10 pounds in the last 3 weeks between moving their legs and their mouths. It induces me to laugh and laugh when I see what I have caused....

Thursday, September 08, 2005


originally uploaded by beckybumblefuck.
For those of you on the edge of your seats over the boy-drama in this

household, I thought I'd update you with the 3rd Triple B-Looty

Lovekins date (the 2nd was at his all those reports would

just be heresy *wink*). Here is is. Triple B thought the food was

terrible and LL cried her eyes out for most of the evening. There was

no sharing the cool, green bike and no agreement on a show to watch.

The marbles, however, were magic. Sending marbles into unreachable

places such as down exhaust grates, behind heavy furniture, and into

dark corners made the 3-year-olds shine.....

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Heart attack

Heart attack
Heart attack,
originally uploaded by beckybumblefuck.
Well, I guess not this time. As long as you look and don't lick...

[Butter sculpture at the 2005 NY State Fair]