Pa
3 years ago
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
The School Report
And I quote, "Ruben tried to get my knickers!"
And I know he was a BAD BOY, because he was described as having a Big Skull bracelet with lots of Fire all over it.
And I know he was a BAD BOY, because he was described as having a Big Skull bracelet with lots of Fire all over it.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Do the right thing.....
Alright boys and girls.
This is it.
A.) VOTE. VOTE. VOTE.
B.) Get your friends/neighbors/loved ones/co-workers/enemies voting as well.
C.) Get your priorities straight. Enter the voting booth and for once, instead of thinking about your bank accounts, think about minimizing the deaths of our fellow Americans. Don't allow any more soldiers to be sent away; don't allow the executive branch to have their way. Show the world that we ARE a true democracy-even if the popular vote did not successfully elect the president that we wanted, there are checks and balances....
And if you can, please....
P.S. If you vote based on family values, you better read this... http://select.nytimes.com/2006/11/01/opinion/01talkingpoints.html?pagewanted=all
This is it.
A.) VOTE. VOTE. VOTE.
B.) Get your friends/neighbors/loved ones/co-workers/enemies voting as well.
C.) Get your priorities straight. Enter the voting booth and for once, instead of thinking about your bank accounts, think about minimizing the deaths of our fellow Americans. Don't allow any more soldiers to be sent away; don't allow the executive branch to have their way. Show the world that we ARE a true democracy-even if the popular vote did not successfully elect the president that we wanted, there are checks and balances....
And if you can, please....
P.S. If you vote based on family values, you better read this... http://select.nytimes.com/2006/11/01/opinion/01talkingpoints.html?pagewanted=all
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Close calls
We needed some chocolate chips; we needed a pizza tray. Now. These were the reasons I had to fire up the ole' Volvo engine and venture out into the world, driving on the wrong side of the road. Well, to me anyways.
We made it safely to our destination and acquired the goods. *ahem* Acquired them legally, that is, what were you thinking?!?
There were a couple of disagreements over who should carry the size 5 child's coat, and an accusation (while hungry) from the little one that I, "hurt her eyebrows." erm....
After a bit of dilly-dallying with good intentions (buying presents for little bundles of joy who will be arriving soon), we made it back out to the parking lot to where the nice parking ticket man was standing next to my car. He was busy poking at buttons on his machine when I said hello. He apologized, then after a few moments told me: "The paper is stuck in my printer. You will get away before I can give you a ticket." This sounded very racy and illegal to me, so I asked for further clarification. He said that I was not going to get a ticket....which was especially nice because it would have put me back a hefty 30 pounds sterling (obviously I should have inserted another 40 pence into the meter.)
I felt pretty good about it, especially because this trip's close call was only a parking violation...not the moving violation that I earned (but did not receive) the last time I was on the road.
Now to be fair, the last time I was on the road was also the first time that I had driven in England. So, maybe I shouldn't feel too bad that I almost crashed at a roundabout on the way to the store, then drove so cautiously home that I was passed by a scooter. I'd say this times close call with a parking ticket was head and heels above that.... ;)
We made it safely to our destination and acquired the goods. *ahem* Acquired them legally, that is, what were you thinking?!?
There were a couple of disagreements over who should carry the size 5 child's coat, and an accusation (while hungry) from the little one that I, "hurt her eyebrows." erm....
After a bit of dilly-dallying with good intentions (buying presents for little bundles of joy who will be arriving soon), we made it back out to the parking lot to where the nice parking ticket man was standing next to my car. He was busy poking at buttons on his machine when I said hello. He apologized, then after a few moments told me: "The paper is stuck in my printer. You will get away before I can give you a ticket." This sounded very racy and illegal to me, so I asked for further clarification. He said that I was not going to get a ticket....which was especially nice because it would have put me back a hefty 30 pounds sterling (obviously I should have inserted another 40 pence into the meter.)
I felt pretty good about it, especially because this trip's close call was only a parking violation...not the moving violation that I earned (but did not receive) the last time I was on the road.
Now to be fair, the last time I was on the road was also the first time that I had driven in England. So, maybe I shouldn't feel too bad that I almost crashed at a roundabout on the way to the store, then drove so cautiously home that I was passed by a scooter. I'd say this times close call with a parking ticket was head and heels above that.... ;)
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Strange Love
*crying*
*wailing*
*crying*
hmmm.....
*jog up the stairs*
*crying*
"What's wrong?"
"What's WRONG?"
*crying*
"C'mere, I'll pick you up..."
*gush*
*wetness*
*dripping*
Friday the 13th ended with my daughter releasing her full bladder on me. She wasn't awake and seemingly doesn't even remember it today.
*wailing*
*crying*
hmmm.....
*jog up the stairs*
*crying*
"What's wrong?"
"What's WRONG?"
*crying*
"C'mere, I'll pick you up..."
*gush*
*wetness*
*dripping*
Friday the 13th ended with my daughter releasing her full bladder on me. She wasn't awake and seemingly doesn't even remember it today.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Grumble, grumble....moan
HAZE....
TAPPING.
FURR.
TAPPING.
TAPPING.
WET.
eh?
"what's that?"
*sniff*...
RECONFIRM
*sniff, sniff*
"My ARM!"
"Here smell my arm."
You know that Friday the 13th has kicked off in resounding glory when it's encroaching 4 am, and your arm and sheet next to your head (READ: nose) had cat shit on it.
TAPPING.
FURR.
TAPPING.
TAPPING.
WET.
eh?
"what's that?"
*sniff*...
RECONFIRM
*sniff, sniff*
"My ARM!"
"Here smell my arm."
You know that Friday the 13th has kicked off in resounding glory when it's encroaching 4 am, and your arm and sheet next to your head (READ: nose) had cat shit on it.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Notable observations
Before noon, I had received 47 SPAM on an account that I typically receive 2 per day.
There was a veritable poop mine on the Curly Bridge today. I like to tell myself that I managed to avoid it all.
The shopping mall had a advertising nugget that assured me that people are the same everywhere. It read, "20% off all Birthday cards!! Hurry, before Christmas!" Erm. That was precisely the same sort of logic that convinced Americans to go to war with Iraq in order to thwart Bin Laden and to make us safe from future 9/11s. Never mind that Bin Laden was either hanging in Pakistan or Afghanistan. But yeah. People have striking similarities despite the different places they call home.
And forgive me political rant. It's my parrr-ty and I'll cry if I want to... ;)
There was a veritable poop mine on the Curly Bridge today. I like to tell myself that I managed to avoid it all.
The shopping mall had a advertising nugget that assured me that people are the same everywhere. It read, "20% off all Birthday cards!! Hurry, before Christmas!" Erm. That was precisely the same sort of logic that convinced Americans to go to war with Iraq in order to thwart Bin Laden and to make us safe from future 9/11s. Never mind that Bin Laden was either hanging in Pakistan or Afghanistan. But yeah. People have striking similarities despite the different places they call home.
And forgive me political rant. It's my parrr-ty and I'll cry if I want to... ;)
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Dying for a present
Snow Day….er, except without the snow. Instead, this 2nd school-free day in a row was sponsored by the Plumber’s Association and the Bloke who Unloaded the Pipe-Clogging Turd. For me it just meant another day battling 4-year-old boredom while struggling to write a manuscript. Oh, right…and yet ANOTHER day that I couldn’t venture out for Lever’s present.
…………………………………………………………………………………………….
So it came right down to the wire. I woke up today, Lever’s birthday, crossing my fingers that the plumbers had sorted things out, that the rain would let up, and that I wouldn’t get desperately lost on the way to procure Lever’s present. In typical form, once I found myself free—thanks to school re-opening, I managed to procrastinate leaving the house with a million meaningless tasks. I finally printed my directions, swallowed all my misgivings, jumped on my bike, and headed towards the forest…
Considering that I had never ventured anywhere significant by myself in the 4 weeks that I had been living here, except by foot....oh right, and then there’s the fact that my route involved a foray in the woods that I had seen only once before….oh, and the fact that the path was of the nature, “Turn left by the old oak tree, then take a right at the thin, pine-needle path, etc.”…oh and of course, the last half of the trip was a combination of bad google map directions and my own improvising….it was a MIRACLE that I found the shop in the next town over 4-5 miles away. I was mud-spattered and wet and more importantly, seriously regretting the white shirt and no bra combination. But hey, bike store, Baby, I made it (and maybe a wet t-shirt discount, too…eh? eh?) I made my purchase, frequently glancing at my watch and acutely aware that I had a mere 40 minutes to pick Noe up from school (and I DID get a discount, but I’m guessing the guy was just trying to butter me up for future sales.)
I sped towards home trying to remember every turn and bend in reverse while ignoring my muddy, aching thighs. It worked for a surprisingly large part of the journey, until a young, camouflage-clad man standing next to a red flag stopped me. Erm…right, gravel road in the middle of nowhere…pretty empty except for the large gathering of military men in a field. He told me that I couldn’t go on, that they were conducting detonations and were “live” at the moment. I put on my best smile and in my American accent pleaded that I couldn’t find my way home unless I could continue on the path. He looked at me sympathetically and walked back to his unit to inquire about the situation. Happily, the British army let me go and I steered around their live ammo.
I did make it to pick up my darling 4-yr-old, a mere 5 minutes late, with the Birthday gift in my backpack. I was tired and very satisfied, having braved the wily paths and the dangerous roads of Farnborough and Fleet, UK….
Cheers my dear Love, Lever. Happy Birthday!
…………………………………………………………………………………………….
So it came right down to the wire. I woke up today, Lever’s birthday, crossing my fingers that the plumbers had sorted things out, that the rain would let up, and that I wouldn’t get desperately lost on the way to procure Lever’s present. In typical form, once I found myself free—thanks to school re-opening, I managed to procrastinate leaving the house with a million meaningless tasks. I finally printed my directions, swallowed all my misgivings, jumped on my bike, and headed towards the forest…
Considering that I had never ventured anywhere significant by myself in the 4 weeks that I had been living here, except by foot....oh right, and then there’s the fact that my route involved a foray in the woods that I had seen only once before….oh, and the fact that the path was of the nature, “Turn left by the old oak tree, then take a right at the thin, pine-needle path, etc.”…oh and of course, the last half of the trip was a combination of bad google map directions and my own improvising….it was a MIRACLE that I found the shop in the next town over 4-5 miles away. I was mud-spattered and wet and more importantly, seriously regretting the white shirt and no bra combination. But hey, bike store, Baby, I made it (and maybe a wet t-shirt discount, too…eh? eh?) I made my purchase, frequently glancing at my watch and acutely aware that I had a mere 40 minutes to pick Noe up from school (and I DID get a discount, but I’m guessing the guy was just trying to butter me up for future sales.)
I sped towards home trying to remember every turn and bend in reverse while ignoring my muddy, aching thighs. It worked for a surprisingly large part of the journey, until a young, camouflage-clad man standing next to a red flag stopped me. Erm…right, gravel road in the middle of nowhere…pretty empty except for the large gathering of military men in a field. He told me that I couldn’t go on, that they were conducting detonations and were “live” at the moment. I put on my best smile and in my American accent pleaded that I couldn’t find my way home unless I could continue on the path. He looked at me sympathetically and walked back to his unit to inquire about the situation. Happily, the British army let me go and I steered around their live ammo.
I did make it to pick up my darling 4-yr-old, a mere 5 minutes late, with the Birthday gift in my backpack. I was tired and very satisfied, having braved the wily paths and the dangerous roads of Farnborough and Fleet, UK….
Cheers my dear Love, Lever. Happy Birthday!
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Foisting culture on Farnborough
The Americans have landed!! The Americans have landed!!
;)
And furthermore, this is what we've done....
We barely managed to get in the country before a terrorist threat
virtually dropped the movement of all UK airports to a
standstill....of course customs did give us our own special
run-around. Then, apparently we were distracting enough to cause a
minor accident on the way to Farnborough that same morning. *whew*
Despite that, we're all in one piece.
After a quick morning trip to the pike-y fair and a full day's spent
at the zoo, I got liquored-up with new British friends while our
lovely kids jumped late into the night on a bouncy castle. It was fun
for all.....even for the poor Sweethearts that had to drive us home.
We bought 'em dinner...er...sort of. We actually just paid for our own
and made use of the 2 for 1 dinner deal. They're still in the dark
about that, though. Shhhhh.
We were invited for a very civilized curry with Noe's first school
teacher. Mmmm, quite lovely. A quick trip to the bog then...*whew*
that was stinky....hmmmm....why was that flush so
ineffective?...erm....again....again....again...ERM....Okey,
okey...now we're getting somewhere....Noe, don't play with that globe
over the toi-LET!...*shakes head*...OK, well, Listerine sterilizes,
right?....good as new. Alrightly, then, back to our friends....
As indicated by the accompanying photographs, we are regulars of the
playground that is a mere 100 meters from our front door. Recently the
British boys I met there were quite tickled by the differences in
American and British
language...knickers..panties....trainers..sneakers....boot..trunk....comfort..fabric
softner....hat..lid....tap..faucet....football..soccer. Heard tell as
I was walking away..."I'm gonna meet an American girl and move
there...." ;)
foist (foist) Pronunciation Key
tr.v. foist·ed, foist·ing, foists
1. To pass off as genuine, valuable, or worthy.
2. To impose (something or someone unwanted) upon another by coercion
or trickery.
Definition 1 or 2?? .....You Decide. ;)
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Moments
(pictures taken by P. Nuzzi)
Americans aren't excessive....A quick trot around my little dead-end
street revealed 29 houses and 67 cars (including only the visible
ones-i.e. not the ones in garages or the ones that were out of
town.)....erm.
Noel's best bud, big boy Bryant said to me as we were leaving school
one day: "Can Noel come over and sleep with me again?" *big sweet,
pleading blue eyes*
Me: *gulp* Er....sure. (And this is officially the ONLY time that I am
agreeing to a request like that from a boy....)
More soon (i.e. not the ridiculous amount of time it took for me to
post this.) ;)
Americans aren't excessive....A quick trot around my little dead-end
street revealed 29 houses and 67 cars (including only the visible
ones-i.e. not the ones in garages or the ones that were out of
town.)....erm.
Noel's best bud, big boy Bryant said to me as we were leaving school
one day: "Can Noel come over and sleep with me again?" *big sweet,
pleading blue eyes*
Me: *gulp* Er....sure. (And this is officially the ONLY time that I am
agreeing to a request like that from a boy....)
More soon (i.e. not the ridiculous amount of time it took for me to
post this.) ;)
Friday, July 07, 2006
Notables
To amuse the teachers....
Noel wore her "All American Girl" shirt today.
To the question: "Are you guys kidding?" We responded, "Well, it's old. and she'll grow out of it."
To amuse the lady on that street....
[watching the cars on the street cruise by, while eating our coconut, chocolate chip, almond ice cream]
Noel: "I want one of those." [points to porsche]
Mom: "Mom will never be able to afford one of those, Babe."
[lady laughs and sympathizes...]
To amuse me.....
Noel: (emphatically) I am NOT food!!!
Noel wore her "All American Girl" shirt today.
To the question: "Are you guys kidding?" We responded, "Well, it's old. and she'll grow out of it."
To amuse the lady on that street....
[watching the cars on the street cruise by, while eating our coconut, chocolate chip, almond ice cream]
Noel: "I want one of those." [points to porsche]
Mom: "Mom will never be able to afford one of those, Babe."
[lady laughs and sympathizes...]
To amuse me.....
Noel: (emphatically) I am NOT food!!!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Legal Angle
The latest batch of travels was not glamorous, but still necessary. Destinations in this round included Delaware, Southern Pennsylvania, and upstate New York.
I was pretty worn down by the end of it, and driving was not ameliorated by the pounding, waterfalls that met my windshield for several consecutive hours.
So after an ice cream break (read: sugar injection), I told my 4-year-old that I didn’t feel like driving any more and nonchalantly asked her if she minded taking over. She stopped dead in her tracks and seriously pondered the offer. However, she reminded me, “Mom, I don’t have a driver’s license.”
“Oh, right”, I said.
Noel responded, “Maybe we could get me one soon…”
Sure, I’ll get right on that….. ;)
I was pretty worn down by the end of it, and driving was not ameliorated by the pounding, waterfalls that met my windshield for several consecutive hours.
So after an ice cream break (read: sugar injection), I told my 4-year-old that I didn’t feel like driving any more and nonchalantly asked her if she minded taking over. She stopped dead in her tracks and seriously pondered the offer. However, she reminded me, “Mom, I don’t have a driver’s license.”
“Oh, right”, I said.
Noel responded, “Maybe we could get me one soon…”
Sure, I’ll get right on that….. ;)
Friday, June 09, 2006
The current 'medium' is the old 'biggie'
Today's been a bit of a mixed bag.
My lovely lady entangled putty in her hair and encrusted it on her pajamas, as well. The nightgown is in the trash along with a chunk of her hair. Unfortunately, the blanket and couch cushion with sticky hot pink goop aren’t quite as easily dealt with….
The bridge that never goes up for tall passing boats actually went up today, stopping traffic for a countless amount of time (lost track).
Wendy's changed how they identify their food. SO when I went to order my burger meal, I was asked a new question: medium size? Er...yeah, that sounds about right. Well, it turns out the current "medium" is the old "biggie". My sizes were all screwed up and I got an absurd amount of food. Then I found that they had given me a diet coke (a.) I don't imbibe or eat ANYTHING diet, and b.) I'd rather use coke to take the paint off my Landlady's BMW than put it in my stomach.) SO, right, I returned the drink and gently mentioned that I had been confused about the sizes due to the name change, so please give me a smaller cup, while you're getting me a new drink. The super nice Spanish/Mexican(?) lady brought out an ice cream for Noel minutes later. That made me beam. Well. Until I pondered the last time I had that happen. I went into a store and left with a ridiculous amount of complementary gifts after making a small donation to poor mothers (it was just about Mother's Day). I felt super happy that day, until I learned that the culmination of the previous 8 months, including flying myself out to meet people, landed me a job offer earning about half my current salary in an unscrupulous pharma-related company. Happy was efficiently usurped by forlorn. So I braced for more bad and moved on….
Currently, the estate agent trying to rent my apartment can’t leave me be, neither can the Landlady. Neither has a f*cking clue, and they both have made such a rigmarole out of procuring door keys, due to several blunders drawn out over the past 5 days. They keep trying to evoke sympathy out of me by discussing how many children she has (5), as well as how many houses she owns. Great….so she’s rich and propagating all of her stupid genes? Keep talking that’s helping a lot. Estate Agent: “You would die if you saw where she [the Landlady] lives.” Get the f@ck out of my house. Please.
My lovely lady entangled putty in her hair and encrusted it on her pajamas, as well. The nightgown is in the trash along with a chunk of her hair. Unfortunately, the blanket and couch cushion with sticky hot pink goop aren’t quite as easily dealt with….
The bridge that never goes up for tall passing boats actually went up today, stopping traffic for a countless amount of time (lost track).
Wendy's changed how they identify their food. SO when I went to order my burger meal, I was asked a new question: medium size? Er...yeah, that sounds about right. Well, it turns out the current "medium" is the old "biggie". My sizes were all screwed up and I got an absurd amount of food. Then I found that they had given me a diet coke (a.) I don't imbibe or eat ANYTHING diet, and b.) I'd rather use coke to take the paint off my Landlady's BMW than put it in my stomach.) SO, right, I returned the drink and gently mentioned that I had been confused about the sizes due to the name change, so please give me a smaller cup, while you're getting me a new drink. The super nice Spanish/Mexican(?) lady brought out an ice cream for Noel minutes later. That made me beam. Well. Until I pondered the last time I had that happen. I went into a store and left with a ridiculous amount of complementary gifts after making a small donation to poor mothers (it was just about Mother's Day). I felt super happy that day, until I learned that the culmination of the previous 8 months, including flying myself out to meet people, landed me a job offer earning about half my current salary in an unscrupulous pharma-related company. Happy was efficiently usurped by forlorn. So I braced for more bad and moved on….
Currently, the estate agent trying to rent my apartment can’t leave me be, neither can the Landlady. Neither has a f*cking clue, and they both have made such a rigmarole out of procuring door keys, due to several blunders drawn out over the past 5 days. They keep trying to evoke sympathy out of me by discussing how many children she has (5), as well as how many houses she owns. Great….so she’s rich and propagating all of her stupid genes? Keep talking that’s helping a lot. Estate Agent: “You would die if you saw where she [the Landlady] lives.” Get the f@ck out of my house. Please.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Girlfriends
The sit-n-spin. A classic. Even better when you can pile on with your gilrfirend, too! (I want an adult size sit-n-spin....the mind boggles at the fun that could be had with that!!)
Friday, June 02, 2006
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Crumbs
Well, this blog has certainly been living up to its name. If you've been depending on this for reading, you might as well be licking rocks for sustenance. Sorry 'bout that, guys. ;)
Realistic expectations are important in life. But could you blame me for thinking that a STATE PARK might have:
-Access to nature without spending more than the gas it took to get there—certainly not a hefty additional $9. Oh, when forests were free....
-The ability to explore aforementioned nature without getting knocked down by rabid boys on scooters (More specifically, Noe bloodied her elbow, not 3 minutes out of the car. In a fucking large prairie-like field, do you think it’s possible to steer around a little 4-year-old girl? Not enough SPACE, you say? *fierce Mom-growl*)
-A reasonable amount of geese poop-free grass. (I shudder to think about the bottom of our shoes...)
-Hiking without f*cking pavement (What happened to that 3 mile hike, Ms. Entrance Fee Snatcher? Contrary to your ascertains, Ms. Park Ranger claims there is NO 3 mile hiking path. Bitch.)
-Bird chirping without the bass-pumping background of "Gasolina"
While I'm here, I'd like to note that the fun of being on a completely suck-ass, chain-smoking, half-drunken co-ed softball team, is that you are practically the hero when you score that one, critical, pride-saving hit (Note: the score was 15-1 last night, after 5 innings....the game was cut short since they were winning by so much.) :D
And lastly, it was a year ago that I met my first English blogger in person. I think I can safely say that it has been life-changing, and an amazing ride ever since. I wanna be in his arms again....now if blogger could just be updated with teletransporting capabilities, I'd be all set....
Realistic expectations are important in life. But could you blame me for thinking that a STATE PARK might have:
-Access to nature without spending more than the gas it took to get there—certainly not a hefty additional $9. Oh, when forests were free....
-The ability to explore aforementioned nature without getting knocked down by rabid boys on scooters (More specifically, Noe bloodied her elbow, not 3 minutes out of the car. In a fucking large prairie-like field, do you think it’s possible to steer around a little 4-year-old girl? Not enough SPACE, you say? *fierce Mom-growl*)
-A reasonable amount of geese poop-free grass. (I shudder to think about the bottom of our shoes...)
-Hiking without f*cking pavement (What happened to that 3 mile hike, Ms. Entrance Fee Snatcher? Contrary to your ascertains, Ms. Park Ranger claims there is NO 3 mile hiking path. Bitch.)
-Bird chirping without the bass-pumping background of "Gasolina"
While I'm here, I'd like to note that the fun of being on a completely suck-ass, chain-smoking, half-drunken co-ed softball team, is that you are practically the hero when you score that one, critical, pride-saving hit (Note: the score was 15-1 last night, after 5 innings....the game was cut short since they were winning by so much.) :D
And lastly, it was a year ago that I met my first English blogger in person. I think I can safely say that it has been life-changing, and an amazing ride ever since. I wanna be in his arms again....now if blogger could just be updated with teletransporting capabilities, I'd be all set....
Sunday, May 28, 2006
HUGE shoutout....
.....to the lovely blogger Rebekah (listed as "ultracool" over there on the side *wags head in that directon and winks*)
The lady just got hitched despite duress from other parts of her life.
She is an amazing lady; Erik is a lucky fellow.
Cheers to a long and happy one! *raises glass*
The lady just got hitched despite duress from other parts of her life.
She is an amazing lady; Erik is a lucky fellow.
Cheers to a long and happy one! *raises glass*
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
4-year-old-wisdom:Pets
about the fish....
"Devon takes a bath ALL day!"
about one of the animals we visited this weekend....
"Dogs LIKE to go up your dress!"
"Devon takes a bath ALL day!"
about one of the animals we visited this weekend....
"Dogs LIKE to go up your dress!"
Friday, April 14, 2006
Lexicon Laughs
My favorite new term: "recreational genomics". Apparently, new science companies have emerged—like DNAPrint—which will sequence your DNA to determine your ethnic ancestry for a "small" fee. The angle: the results could allow you to check minority boxes on financial aid forms for college, for example.
Of course, there are excellent reasons for undergoing genetic testing, as well...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night, Noel had me rolling with laughter.
She told me, "I'm SICK!!! There's a thorn in my tummy! Call the fire department!!"
Raucous laughter was probably NOT the proper "good" Mommy response, but I couldn't help myself. I dialed my brother the doctor, once my snorting subsided...
Of course, there are excellent reasons for undergoing genetic testing, as well...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night, Noel had me rolling with laughter.
She told me, "I'm SICK!!! There's a thorn in my tummy! Call the fire department!!"
Raucous laughter was probably NOT the proper "good" Mommy response, but I couldn't help myself. I dialed my brother the doctor, once my snorting subsided...
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Where I sit
There's gotta be some truth to this, 'cause I ended up in the same quarter as Gandhi and in the blue zone....
You are a Social Liberal (63% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (10% permissive) You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test |
Monday, April 03, 2006
Diggin' in Deep
Noel looked at her handiwork (a.k.a. poop) tonight and proclaimed, ‘Awww. It’s cute!”
Prodding me to reply: “Do ya wanna keep it?” (facetiously of course).
Disappointingly, she said, ‘Yes.”
I had to dig myself out of that hole quickly and thus replied, “Well poops are yucky and squishy.”
She countered with, “Silly putty is squishy.”
I closed my argument with, “Yes, but silly putty isn’t stinky.”
See what I get myself into?
;)
Prodding me to reply: “Do ya wanna keep it?” (facetiously of course).
Disappointingly, she said, ‘Yes.”
I had to dig myself out of that hole quickly and thus replied, “Well poops are yucky and squishy.”
She countered with, “Silly putty is squishy.”
I closed my argument with, “Yes, but silly putty isn’t stinky.”
See what I get myself into?
;)
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Rock me, Baby
Gently.
Gently, I said, you b@stards!
Damn, I was pounded last night. I'm still taking stock of the bruises.
That's what I get for desiring pictures of Rob Zombie and getting
close enough to take a decent one (that man is FIT, I tell you!). At
least you get the fruits of my labors without the suffocating smells,
sweat, and constant pressing and pushing....(was that an inappropriate
grope/pelvic thrust that I just felt, or just another person landing
on my backside?) There was so much of it all, I almost became
desensitized to it (well, except for the occasional odors that drifted
up from the bog.)
And there was....rum and coke without the coke; looking after the
little girls; little-girl moshing advice: "Just push back...er...that
one was my boyfriend."; the hippy fight erupting 2 feet away (do
hippies punch like that?); show-her-tits girl; help from random men;
smashed glasses on the floor; a drink down my pants; booby picture
shows; guitarist from Motley Crue; House of 1000 Corpses clown;
guitarist suggestively-squirted-water on my face; and GOOD music...old
school White ZOmbie and Rob ZOmbie: More Human Than Human, Living Dead
Girl, Never Gonna Stop, Spookshow Baby; then new stuff (from Educated
Horses): Foxy Foxy, Lord's of Salem.
Gently, I said, you b@stards!
Damn, I was pounded last night. I'm still taking stock of the bruises.
That's what I get for desiring pictures of Rob Zombie and getting
close enough to take a decent one (that man is FIT, I tell you!). At
least you get the fruits of my labors without the suffocating smells,
sweat, and constant pressing and pushing....(was that an inappropriate
grope/pelvic thrust that I just felt, or just another person landing
on my backside?) There was so much of it all, I almost became
desensitized to it (well, except for the occasional odors that drifted
up from the bog.)
And there was....rum and coke without the coke; looking after the
little girls; little-girl moshing advice: "Just push back...er...that
one was my boyfriend."; the hippy fight erupting 2 feet away (do
hippies punch like that?); show-her-tits girl; help from random men;
smashed glasses on the floor; a drink down my pants; booby picture
shows; guitarist from Motley Crue; House of 1000 Corpses clown;
guitarist suggestively-squirted-water on my face; and GOOD music...old
school White ZOmbie and Rob ZOmbie: More Human Than Human, Living Dead
Girl, Never Gonna Stop, Spookshow Baby; then new stuff (from Educated
Horses): Foxy Foxy, Lord's of Salem.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Monday, March 06, 2006
Russian Mardi Gras
...is the pre-Lenten celebration that apparently lasts a full week (those party animals...our stamina is only a day *wink*)
Anyways, this weekend we partook in some of the celebration, by consuming Russian pancakes filled with sour cream and caviar. I confirmed that my little girl is an eccentric, at the ripe old age of 4: she wouldn't have any of the pancakes, but took many helpings of caviar. For me, the pancakes were the only way to consume those popping, salty sacs....it was much safer when they were hidden by pancake.
On a completely different note, my lady has learned how to fix my (running) toilet. :D
Anyways, this weekend we partook in some of the celebration, by consuming Russian pancakes filled with sour cream and caviar. I confirmed that my little girl is an eccentric, at the ripe old age of 4: she wouldn't have any of the pancakes, but took many helpings of caviar. For me, the pancakes were the only way to consume those popping, salty sacs....it was much safer when they were hidden by pancake.
On a completely different note, my lady has learned how to fix my (running) toilet. :D
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Adventures in Bumblefuck-Land
The sum of this past weekend was consumed with a trip west to upstate NY.
I had the extreme fortune early on in the trip of rendezvousing at a lovely little Thai restaurant with a friend that I rarely see. SO rarely, that I was even more horrified and embarrassed than usual when Noel:
a.) farted during dinner b.) discussed kissing the friend c.) declared, "Just let me LOOK at it!" referring to a freckle on my arm that she has a fascination with.
Hopefully, most of these things went under the radar. ;)
Later on, in that same leg of the journey, I found myself saying to a nice older lady, "Well, it's OK, I can just call my parents to help me out." What am I? Age 15?
One lovely discovery made while home, must be credited to my Mom. Thanks to her "browse this magazine" suggestion I was able to find this very sacrilegious food item. Take note: ingesting the lamb of god is calorie-free!
And then the picture here was taken during the return trip. I used to watch that show religiously (well, at least as regular as I can be about TV programming).
I had the extreme fortune early on in the trip of rendezvousing at a lovely little Thai restaurant with a friend that I rarely see. SO rarely, that I was even more horrified and embarrassed than usual when Noel:
a.) farted during dinner b.) discussed kissing the friend c.) declared, "Just let me LOOK at it!" referring to a freckle on my arm that she has a fascination with.
Hopefully, most of these things went under the radar. ;)
Later on, in that same leg of the journey, I found myself saying to a nice older lady, "Well, it's OK, I can just call my parents to help me out." What am I? Age 15?
One lovely discovery made while home, must be credited to my Mom. Thanks to her "browse this magazine" suggestion I was able to find this very sacrilegious food item. Take note: ingesting the lamb of god is calorie-free!
And then the picture here was taken during the return trip. I used to watch that show religiously (well, at least as regular as I can be about TV programming).
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
What's Cookin' Honey?
"I need something CHEESY"
- Wallace and Gromit
Cheesy Tuna Shell Casserole
1 tbsp margarine
1 medium onion
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 1/4 cups milk
1 tsp worcestershire sauce
1/2 tsp prepared mustard
1/4 tsp pepper
2 cups (8 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese
1 can (6 ounces) tuna (drained)
1 cup frozen peas
8 ounces shell pasta
1/2 cup crushed potato chips
1.) Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Cook the shell pasta in boiling water (about 11 minutes) and drain.
2.) While the pasta is cooking (pronounced "pes-ta" if you're British *wink*) chop the onion.
3.) Melt the margarine over high heat in a 2-quart sauce pan and then add the chopped onions (saute 3 minutes).
4.) Stir in the soup, milk, worcestershire sauce, mustard, and pepper. Stir frequently and bring to a boil.
5.) Remove from the heat and stir in the cheese until smooth.
6.) Add the tuna (separating it into flakes with a fork) and the peas.
7.) Combine the tuna mixture and the cooked shells in a 2 quart casserole dish.
8.) Crush the potato chips and sprinkle them over the top.
9.) Bake at 350 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes (until heated throughout.)
4-year-old Review:
Picked off potato chips for consumption after eating several shells. Then picked through mixture for the peas.
Two Hours Later: "My teeth are very stinky. I must go change them."
Thirty-two year old review: Nice flavor and texture. I'll deal with the stinky teeth just to get this in my belly...
("I'm just CRACKERS about cheese!" - W &G)
- Wallace and Gromit
Cheesy Tuna Shell Casserole
1 tbsp margarine
1 medium onion
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 1/4 cups milk
1 tsp worcestershire sauce
1/2 tsp prepared mustard
1/4 tsp pepper
2 cups (8 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese
1 can (6 ounces) tuna (drained)
1 cup frozen peas
8 ounces shell pasta
1/2 cup crushed potato chips
1.) Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Cook the shell pasta in boiling water (about 11 minutes) and drain.
2.) While the pasta is cooking (pronounced "pes-ta" if you're British *wink*) chop the onion.
3.) Melt the margarine over high heat in a 2-quart sauce pan and then add the chopped onions (saute 3 minutes).
4.) Stir in the soup, milk, worcestershire sauce, mustard, and pepper. Stir frequently and bring to a boil.
5.) Remove from the heat and stir in the cheese until smooth.
6.) Add the tuna (separating it into flakes with a fork) and the peas.
7.) Combine the tuna mixture and the cooked shells in a 2 quart casserole dish.
8.) Crush the potato chips and sprinkle them over the top.
9.) Bake at 350 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes (until heated throughout.)
4-year-old Review:
Picked off potato chips for consumption after eating several shells. Then picked through mixture for the peas.
Two Hours Later: "My teeth are very stinky. I must go change them."
Thirty-two year old review: Nice flavor and texture. I'll deal with the stinky teeth just to get this in my belly...
("I'm just CRACKERS about cheese!" - W &G)
Monday, February 13, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Stuck
The gracious upstairs neighbors asked us up to partake in the great American tradition of consuming large amounts of food and beer (probably Budweiser) whilest watching the Superbowl and hoping for some obnoxious "scandal" such as a nipple siting. SO we did it.
Before going, I told myself that I was not allowed to get drunk, as that would greatly increase the liklihood of disclosing the amount of sex that I've heard them have.
It was good that this was established from the start, because the conversation turned that way, without any prompting.
S:"So. I can sometimes hear your conversations through the airvents."
BBFK:"Oh, sorry."
S:"No problem, I just turn up the music or something. It just makes me wonder if you can hear us through the vents, too."
BBFK:"Umm...nope, I've never heard any of your conversations...."
S:"It's not conversations that I'm worried about. Especially since you have a little girl."
BBFK: *silence* *slurps drink* "Right. SO It looks like the refs have been paid off by some Steelers supporters..."
Later on in the evening.....
BBFK:"It's neat that you guys are involved in Renaissance festivals."
S:"Well, it's more than that. It's more role playing in costume. I've been this elf-character for 18 years now."
*Noel runs into the back room*
S: *nervous glance at boyfriend* "Honey, are all the toys in the bedroom put away?"
BBFK: *tries not to juxtapose the last 2 bits of conversation along with the routine pounding/escalating sreaming sounds that often filter down from the vents*
Even later, that same night....
S's boyfriend: *comes back from the back rooms that BBFK has been avoiding" "Noel just said she needed to make a poop."
BBFK:*rushes to feet* "OK..." *runs to bathroom in the back and finds Noel already in process* "Oh, Noel we could have just gone downstairs...." *Noel finishes business and leaves BBFK to flush*
*flushes toilet*
*small movement*
*flushes again*
*water rises*
*panic starts*
*waits*
*waits*
*water lowers some*
*flushes again*
*water rises*
*skin gets red and spotty with panic*
*waits*
*waits*
*no movement*
*wishes for some heavy alcohol*
*walks out to report the stuck toilet*
*walks back to bathroom with neighbor*
*neighbor ineffectively plunges for 10 minutes while I look on profusely apologizing and trading bad bathroom stories*
*neighbor's boyfriend checks in and unclogs toilet with a flick of the wrist and a single plunge*
*BBFK finishes beer and goes home with toilet-clogging 4 year old*
Before going, I told myself that I was not allowed to get drunk, as that would greatly increase the liklihood of disclosing the amount of sex that I've heard them have.
It was good that this was established from the start, because the conversation turned that way, without any prompting.
S:"So. I can sometimes hear your conversations through the airvents."
BBFK:"Oh, sorry."
S:"No problem, I just turn up the music or something. It just makes me wonder if you can hear us through the vents, too."
BBFK:"Umm...nope, I've never heard any of your conversations...."
S:"It's not conversations that I'm worried about. Especially since you have a little girl."
BBFK: *silence* *slurps drink* "Right. SO It looks like the refs have been paid off by some Steelers supporters..."
Later on in the evening.....
BBFK:"It's neat that you guys are involved in Renaissance festivals."
S:"Well, it's more than that. It's more role playing in costume. I've been this elf-character for 18 years now."
*Noel runs into the back room*
S: *nervous glance at boyfriend* "Honey, are all the toys in the bedroom put away?"
BBFK: *tries not to juxtapose the last 2 bits of conversation along with the routine pounding/escalating sreaming sounds that often filter down from the vents*
Even later, that same night....
S's boyfriend: *comes back from the back rooms that BBFK has been avoiding" "Noel just said she needed to make a poop."
BBFK:*rushes to feet* "OK..." *runs to bathroom in the back and finds Noel already in process* "Oh, Noel we could have just gone downstairs...." *Noel finishes business and leaves BBFK to flush*
*flushes toilet*
*small movement*
*flushes again*
*water rises*
*panic starts*
*waits*
*waits*
*water lowers some*
*flushes again*
*water rises*
*skin gets red and spotty with panic*
*waits*
*waits*
*no movement*
*wishes for some heavy alcohol*
*walks out to report the stuck toilet*
*walks back to bathroom with neighbor*
*neighbor ineffectively plunges for 10 minutes while I look on profusely apologizing and trading bad bathroom stories*
*neighbor's boyfriend checks in and unclogs toilet with a flick of the wrist and a single plunge*
*BBFK finishes beer and goes home with toilet-clogging 4 year old*
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
The last bit of the Top 10 Things I meant to Blog about during the Holidays
5.) The rift in language between American and British English is deeper than I had suspected. I think the British make their language cuter. They have a proclivity to add "ie" or "y" to the ends of words (such as Curly Wurly) and add extra vowels (famously, "u"). Oh, and their tendency to give suspicious names to yummy foods hasn't gone unnoticed either...such as "clotted cream", "spotted dick", and "bangers and mash". Of course, they also hide terrible foods behind seemingly innocuous names: white pudding, for instance. Then there's the confusion associated with words such as "pudding" and "tea". To an American, these both specify a single food or drink item, while to an Englishman pudding could mean dessert or various different foods ranging from blood and fat sausage to a bready accompaniment to roast beef, and tea could indicate a meal, a drink, or a fancy between-meal snack.
4.)Written during one of the flights to Rochester, NY from London...
It took the bankrupting of an airlines for me to realize the drama of the past day. As I sat listening to the most heartfelt Safety Speech I’d ever heard accompanied by a large dose of meaningful looks, I started to sum up what I’d seen, heard, and experienced. Our hostess named December took pictures of her friends while we were boarding and explained that they had been informed on Tuesday of the demise of Independence Airline. She was not the only one I observed making tearful last goodbyes, expounding on future plans, and expressing surprise and sadness at the situation. It felt odd observing the life-changing events whilest harboring my personal desires to be wisked home to my daughter. Certainly, missing her was one of the 2 reasons for my own drama. The other was for wont of my sweetheart. Leaving him caused me to cry in 2 countries, and in 2 states resulting in a pounding headache. I dehydrated myself and resultingly, drank a liter of water between flights.
3.) Inspired by a recent viewing of Dreamer-the 2005 movie with Dakota Fanning, Noel rode on Hocus Pocus the horse all by herself while visiting our family in Virginia. Before boarding she said, "I want to race!"; once in the saddle, she told Hocus Pocus, "Go slowly." That's my girl.
2.) I received both a radar/laser detector and a speeding ticket (in that order) over the holiday. I figured my brother who got me the detector was taking the piss out of me (I hadn't asked for one), but then again just maybe I deserved it.
1.) My trip to England made patently clear that I miss Noel when she's not around. I was heartbroken by the end of the trip and vowed that she needed to go with me in the future to experience wading in the sea with tall, rubber boots, the super cool Natural History museum with a movement sensing, life-sized T. Rex, the Castles (she's into queens and kings), and hikes in the forest.
Anyways, cheers to Virginia and England...both lovely destinations for the holidays....
4.)Written during one of the flights to Rochester, NY from London...
It took the bankrupting of an airlines for me to realize the drama of the past day. As I sat listening to the most heartfelt Safety Speech I’d ever heard accompanied by a large dose of meaningful looks, I started to sum up what I’d seen, heard, and experienced. Our hostess named December took pictures of her friends while we were boarding and explained that they had been informed on Tuesday of the demise of Independence Airline. She was not the only one I observed making tearful last goodbyes, expounding on future plans, and expressing surprise and sadness at the situation. It felt odd observing the life-changing events whilest harboring my personal desires to be wisked home to my daughter. Certainly, missing her was one of the 2 reasons for my own drama. The other was for wont of my sweetheart. Leaving him caused me to cry in 2 countries, and in 2 states resulting in a pounding headache. I dehydrated myself and resultingly, drank a liter of water between flights.
3.) Inspired by a recent viewing of Dreamer-the 2005 movie with Dakota Fanning, Noel rode on Hocus Pocus the horse all by herself while visiting our family in Virginia. Before boarding she said, "I want to race!"; once in the saddle, she told Hocus Pocus, "Go slowly." That's my girl.
2.) I received both a radar/laser detector and a speeding ticket (in that order) over the holiday. I figured my brother who got me the detector was taking the piss out of me (I hadn't asked for one), but then again just maybe I deserved it.
1.) My trip to England made patently clear that I miss Noel when she's not around. I was heartbroken by the end of the trip and vowed that she needed to go with me in the future to experience wading in the sea with tall, rubber boots, the super cool Natural History museum with a movement sensing, life-sized T. Rex, the Castles (she's into queens and kings), and hikes in the forest.
Anyways, cheers to Virginia and England...both lovely destinations for the holidays....
Ket-chup
You gotta wonder what your day has in store for you when you slip on a rotting banana peel on the way in from the parking garage. A Three Stooges kinda day seems relatively harmless and certainly amusing....hmmmm...
In the mean time, I am fantasticly behind on my blogging. It only took 5 days of telling myself, "I'm gonna blog TODAY" to actually sit down and do it. I've got the usual excuses...traveling, a blur of holiday-related events, oh and just being in more of a "reading"-mood than "writing"-mood. I just finished a Confederacy of Dunces actually. It turned out to be an excellent book for a laugh and anyone who wants to slag-off their job.
Anyways, here's the top 10 things that I meant to blog about during my recent hiatus away from this forum....
10.) Happy New Year's to my lovely blogland friends!!!
9.) Noel saved a bird. Well, at least the clever girl heard a bird flapping around our front hallway and alerted me...then we let him out. This is the fourth time this has happened in a year period. I need to investigate how they get in...(my guess is the vent to my bathroom...but how that connects to the front hallway is another matter...)
8.) There's been some solid movies available lately...my favs: The 40 year Old Virgin; Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; The Constant Gardner.
7.) Noel has gotten successful enough at eating with chopsticks that she wouldn't starve. I figure that's a good marker.
6.) I managed to regain my ability to eat at a human pace during my trip to England and have maintained it since then. Woohoo!
OK. AND I will stop there, lest I never push the "Publish Post" button. ;)
In the mean time, I am fantasticly behind on my blogging. It only took 5 days of telling myself, "I'm gonna blog TODAY" to actually sit down and do it. I've got the usual excuses...traveling, a blur of holiday-related events, oh and just being in more of a "reading"-mood than "writing"-mood. I just finished a Confederacy of Dunces actually. It turned out to be an excellent book for a laugh and anyone who wants to slag-off their job.
Anyways, here's the top 10 things that I meant to blog about during my recent hiatus away from this forum....
10.) Happy New Year's to my lovely blogland friends!!!
9.) Noel saved a bird. Well, at least the clever girl heard a bird flapping around our front hallway and alerted me...then we let him out. This is the fourth time this has happened in a year period. I need to investigate how they get in...(my guess is the vent to my bathroom...but how that connects to the front hallway is another matter...)
8.) There's been some solid movies available lately...my favs: The 40 year Old Virgin; Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; The Constant Gardner.
7.) Noel has gotten successful enough at eating with chopsticks that she wouldn't starve. I figure that's a good marker.
6.) I managed to regain my ability to eat at a human pace during my trip to England and have maintained it since then. Woohoo!
OK. AND I will stop there, lest I never push the "Publish Post" button. ;)
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