Monday, August 29, 2005

Name calling....

Noel has decided that we are going to get a dog. Furthermore, we will call this (poor) dog "SUCKA". Yes that is as in "sucker", except the in-da-hood version.

Apparently. she has been expressing genes that were not inherited from me, recently.

Also, I will keep this in mind when she has a child of her own and is responsible for naming it. I will have to keep a close eye on the situation....

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Today I am....

'Rebecca Rockland'
(Well, at least according to the most recent transcriptionist.)

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Stay out of my Art

Stay out of my Art
Stay out of my Art,
originally uploaded by beckybumblefuck.
We had a mini-foray off to NYC yesterday afternoon. Our goal: The

Metropolitan Museum of Art. We did it, long into the evening. Too

bad there were an overabundance of security guards making silly,

irrational demands from square one. I was trying to enjoy ART, for

god's sake, do you mind taking your bullying elsewhere? (But then

again, Noel, SFMD & I ARE a v. suspicious bunch...better keep an eye on us!!

We might....I dunno...laugh too loud or something. *wink*)

Stay out of my Art

Stay out of my Art
Stay out of my Art,
originally uploaded by beckybumblefuck.

Friday, August 19, 2005

9:30am: I've already done my damage today

Today kicked off awkwardly. Noel and I reluctantly went through the morning routine, acutely aware that having done this 4 other days this week, we were bored. However, we plodded on with the weekend and its little adventures in sight, and with prospects of a friend/dog visit. We arrived at Noel's babyschool and prepared to part, not before doing the usual friendly bits with the women there. I started up a conversation.....
BBFK: "How are you, J?"
J: "Good. Tired."
BBFK: "I saw you last night..."
J: "Oh, where was that?"
BBFK: "At your boyfriend's. [He lives 3 houses down from me.] I was out for a run and called your name to say hi..."
J: "....That wasn't me."
BBFK: *confused* "Oh. Well a girl parked her car and went to his house. She looked just like you, but it was dark, so I couldn't see her face clearly..." *trailing off + looking disheartened*
J: "What was she driving?"
J: "Red?"
BBFK: "Yeah."
J: "Yeah...I know who she is."
BBFK: *deflated look + stumped for what to say, as "Sorry that I've just given you evidence that your boyfriend is fucking another woman" just didn't seem right*
BBFK: "Oh."

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Jaw Drops...

You're Catch-22!

by Joseph Heller

Incredibly witty and funny, you have a taste for irony in all that you
see. It seems that life has put you in perpetually untenable situations, and your sense
of humor is all that gets you through them. These experiences have also made you an
ardent pacifist, though you present your message with tongue sewn into cheek. You
could coin a phrase that replaces the word "paradox" for millions of
Yeah. And anyone that knows me, KNOWS that this is my favorite book of all time. *high fives the fabulous quizz makers at Blue Pyramid*

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Thanks to the lovely Rebekah for this, BTW.....(

The Current Reason Not To Have Fresh Blueberries in Cold Cereal....

.....You could die.
(Well, at least according to the resident expert, 3 yr old.)
No jokin' around there. No bother with a little, "I don't want it" or "We ate that yesterday, Mom." Nope, she went right in for the arguing with the ugly, tortured death induced by blueberries...

Sunday, August 14, 2005


originally uploaded by beckybumblefuck.
We had a classic festival outing.

We went on the rides.....

........The picture illustrates the headlock Noel puts me in as the

merry-go-round shakily starts, and continues to vibrate. She has a

stronger inhibition of danger than I do, apparently.

We played the games.....

.........Well, admittedly, just one, 'cause they are a rip-off and

they didn't even bother to have a duck-pond: the gold-standard in kids

festival games. The neighbor's scheme to assuredly win a prize for

Noel at the water-gun game (be the first bloke to squirt enough water

in a clown's mouth to break a balloon and win), was ruined when a

horde of straight-shooting kids showed up. Despite her brainstrom that

I should whore myself out in order to procure a nice, yellow, stuffed

duckling, I walked away. I felt complemented by her confidence in my

abilites to induce the gentleman game-operator to part with the

aforementioned duck, ("He's cute! Just batt your eyes and

smile...."), but the duck just wasn't THAT cute. And my girl already

has the amount of stuffed animals that should take 10 years to

accumulate (including a yellow duck, BTW)

We ate the food.....

........Although, here we diverged from the usual festival experience.

There was a cultural twist to this one. Instead of corn-dogs, cotton

candy, and fudge, the fare at this fest included

sausage/peppers&onions, cannolis, lemon ice, and pizza frittas.

Mmmmm...Evviva gli Italiano!

Friday, August 12, 2005

Cool Kid at School......

Cool Kid at School......
Cool Kid at School......,
originally uploaded by beckybumblefuck.
....I'm definitely NOT. In fact, today I felt like a complete

recluse. That was sort of odd, considering I was in NYC for the day.

It's always weird feeling lonely when you're surrounded. I had the

distinct feeling all day that there was some big secret that I was not

privy to. Here are the incidences and observations which fed that


1.) It all began when I spied a truck driving down the train tracks,

as I was sweating it out at the station (The East coast is currently

very stickystickysticky. Did I mention it's been humid out recently?)

Ummmmm....since when did TRUCKS drive on TRAIN tracks? (Check out the

picture....those red lights in the distance are the rear break-lights

of a truck.)

2.) The meeting that I had to attend was on a topic that I very

recently started learning about and only had a 17% likelihood of

pronouncing correctly. The people-involved rattled off acronyms and

technical jargon at a quick pace, oftentimes talking over each other.

Lucky me...I'm the lackey that gets to implement all their wording

desires...just as soon as I figure WTF they were talking about, that


3.) Ripply-muscled cops jumped on our crammed elevator as we rode in

the wrong direction to the lobby. They bantered about a guy who was

"able to walk around." Um....yeah. Normally not a noteworthy skill.

(As a nice bonus, the cop took an extra second to make a single

comment to my boss that got her rattled enough to pull me aside for a

confidence boost sort-of-question. Props, NYPD.)

4.) A stretcher rolled out of the hotel to a near-by ambulance.

5.) After managing to squeeze my body into one of the 2 seats left on

the densely populated train and position my bag in a way that didn't

encroach on other people's space, I realized that the boob-level

button of my shirt had worked its way undone.

6.) I found the driver's side car mirror on Car-bie was scratched to

shit. *shrugs shoulders* Wasn't me. My poor wounded Car-bie, who

hurt you and how could they be so mean and careless? (Car-bie will

likely remain scarred...I'm too poor to worry about cosmetic fixes.)

[Note: Following a viewing of Herbie:Full Throttle, Noel christened

our car with the name, Car-bie.]

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Bookmark or Buttfloss?

Bookmark or Buttfloss?
Bookmark or Buttfloss?,
originally uploaded by beckybumblefuck.
There's nothing like catching S completely unawares. The poor girl had

her mouth hung open long enough to consume a day's worth of protein

just from the bugs that entered! (Of course, she'd have a problem

with this because she would mourn the loss of all those bugs...she's

the sort that escorts bugs out of her house and gives them a little

cash to start a new home before sending them on their way. *wink*)

Anyways, when she arrived, the party for her was already in full

swing. We had consumed enough salad, sausage roll, fruit and cheese

appetizers to make us uncomfortable if we weren't sitting up straight,

done-in half the sherbet-champagne punch, and almost run out of

conversation. The party thrown by her soon-to-be-in-laws was in honor

of S's upcoming wedding, and was destined to be memorable, if only

because of the momentous amount of food (the main course included 7

large tins of Italian delicacies). There was a pedicure/manicure

station, a wine-tasting table, and scores of well-decorated tables

(with dragonflies for bug-loving S), all with a view of the ocean, as

we were a jump (literally) away from the beach. Thankfully, there was

drinking instead of guess-retarded-details-about-the-bride-to-be-games

and a stripper instead of um, er...actually the lack of any real

entertainment (like with other wedding showers I've been to). Yes, I

DID say a stripper...I'll get back to that. 'Course it was pretty

entertaining watching S wade through the tall pile of presents geared

at making her a homemaker. I had mine delivered by Noel, so as to add

another assurance of trust, beyond the obvious shape of the gift.

True-to-form, there was a book under the wrap. A cookbook to be more

precise. It was the bookmark that was the kicker (see photo). She

received the prescribed amount of kitchen appliances and tools,

candles, home-crotchet goods-destined never to leave the box, and

slinky underwear, i.e. buttfloss. Then policeman Giovanni showed up

because he'd heard S had been bad. He proceeded to flick his leather

belt in a whip-motion, handcuff S, take off his shirt, AND,

AND....that would be when the 3 year old and I took a walk. So much

for my first opportunity to see a stripper......We made it back for

the cake, cookies, and marshmallow salad though. I think I was in a

food-coma when I left, however, I was quite satisfied that S had been

thrown a party that sufficiently relished, embarrassed, and adored

her. Wishing you the best S and J.....

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Triple B and Looty Lovekins: Noel Notes

Noel to Mom: Your bummie's so BIG. My bummies so little.

(Noelspeak code: bummie=ass and BIG=grown-up....or so I like to tell

myself...*wink* *schedules in an extra run, just in case*)

Noel to Mom, again: You look so shiny, mama.

(Noelspeak code: shiny=good-to-me....not "dear god, please get some

soap for the oily-skin issue on your forehead.....!"



BBFK arrives to pick up Noel. Noel runs to get Big Boy Bryant and

holding his hand, insists that he needs to come over to her house.

Triple B's Mom enters and negotiations begin for the "BIG HANGOUT".

Sensing that progress is being made, Triple B and Noel jump up and

down, shouting "YAY!" while still holding hands. Discussion of

logistics ensue between the Moms, during which Triple B insists that

he stay over "a very long time", while Noel starts haggling for a

sleepover. The sleepover idea is immediately refuted and the proper

etiquette is explained. The first date is a dinner only; sleepovers

need to happen later in the relationship. ;)


Triple B and Noel have their first date.

Much jumping, toy-sharing, chalk-drawing, and Spiderman-viewing ensue.

Over homemade pepperoni pizza with a side of fresh carrots, Noel

offers to "tip" (code for "let's toast") and Triple B raises his glass

and says, "Cheers!". Plans for "BIG HANGOUT PART II: BIG BOY BRYANT'S

HOUSE" are discussed before the night is over.

Daddy comes to pick up Triple B, and Triple B is so distressed about

leaving Noel, he's not able to return a hug.


Noel returns the truck that Triple B had left at Noel's house.