Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Stuck

The gracious upstairs neighbors asked us up to partake in the great American tradition of consuming large amounts of food and beer (probably Budweiser) whilest watching the Superbowl and hoping for some obnoxious "scandal" such as a nipple siting. SO we did it.

Before going, I told myself that I was not allowed to get drunk, as that would greatly increase the liklihood of disclosing the amount of sex that I've heard them have.
It was good that this was established from the start, because the conversation turned that way, without any prompting.
S:"So. I can sometimes hear your conversations through the airvents."

BBFK:"Oh, sorry."

S:"No problem, I just turn up the music or something. It just makes me wonder if you can hear us through the vents, too."

BBFK:"Umm...nope, I've never heard any of your conversations...."

S:"It's not conversations that I'm worried about. Especially since you have a little girl."

BBFK: *silence* *slurps drink* "Right. SO It looks like the refs have been paid off by some Steelers supporters..."

Later on in the evening.....

BBFK:"It's neat that you guys are involved in Renaissance festivals."

S:"Well, it's more than that. It's more role playing in costume. I've been this elf-character for 18 years now."

*Noel runs into the back room*

S: *nervous glance at boyfriend* "Honey, are all the toys in the bedroom put away?"

BBFK: *tries not to juxtapose the last 2 bits of conversation along with the routine pounding/escalating sreaming sounds that often filter down from the vents*

Even later, that same night....

S's boyfriend: *comes back from the back rooms that BBFK has been avoiding" "Noel just said she needed to make a poop."

BBFK:*rushes to feet* "OK..." *runs to bathroom in the back and finds Noel already in process* "Oh, Noel we could have just gone downstairs...." *Noel finishes business and leaves BBFK to flush*
*flushes toilet*
*small movement*
*flushes again*
*water rises*
*panic starts*
*waits*
*waits*
*water lowers some*
*flushes again*
*water rises*
*skin gets red and spotty with panic*
*waits*
*waits*
*no movement*
*wishes for some heavy alcohol*
*walks out to report the stuck toilet*
*walks back to bathroom with neighbor*
*neighbor ineffectively plunges for 10 minutes while I look on profusely apologizing and trading bad bathroom stories*
*neighbor's boyfriend checks in and unclogs toilet with a flick of the wrist and a single plunge*
*BBFK finishes beer and goes home with toilet-clogging 4 year old*

14 comments:

Lever said...

Hehe :D

So can you hear screaming or reaming?

I do hope we didn't talk too loud last time I was over, babe. And the neighbours in Devon said you were SO loud. When you spoke ;)

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

*innocent look*
I don't remember having any conversations with you on our last visit...I think we were doing other things, so your neighbors must have been mistaken.

ANd trust me, those EXACT thoughts were going through my head during my visit with S. ;)

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

*big grin*
Well, I think my 4 year year old may have alighted upon an excellent method to permanently hamper further hangouts with that toilet clogging incident. SO much for the neighbors....

Anonymous said...

wow, I love your little embarrasing stories...they make me feel so much that I am not alone. BTW. changing my email addresss soon, but will keep you up to date when I do.

Bugger, I've forgotten my blogger password, sorry.
Crit/mummy

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

*grin*
Yeah, we're bosom buddies in many ways.
Glad to provide entertainment with our follies...

Yes, and please keep me in the email loop, Ms. Crit. ;)

rebekah said...

oh my hell

that made my belly hurt to laugh so hard

i've clogged a toilet or two in my day

ahem

Mummy/Crit said...

Sure thing. I've remembered my blogger password now too, so I'm no longer anonymous! i will compose a mega mailing list style email to all my buddies telling them all my new details (this includes you, of course) in the next few days, before the beloved gets here and I vanish again for a while ;-)

Mummy/Crit said...

which vaguely relates to the topic of your post I guess!

searchingforMrDarcy said...

I never would have thought a four year old could clog a toilet. I kept expecting you to say a sex toy got in there or something. How much fiber are you feeding your little one ;)

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

Rebekah darrrling,
:D
Thanks, you make us both feel better about that whole escapade. ;)

Mummy/Crit,
*laughing*
Thanks for your update and er....good on you, babe. Make the neighbors talk about the ruckus from next door... ;) (*giggle* Thank god someone is getting some action for V-day.)

SFMD,
Woohoo! It's been AGES, lady!
You've finally resurfaced!
And to be completely frank, there must have been something wrong with their toilet. I wasn't impressed by Noel's poop; it really wasn't clog-worthy. We just live in an old house.

Hon Don Gerard said...

I am not going to mention any names, but my daughter - who shall remain nameless - was quite adept at stopping up the old stool.

From now on when somebody says something which astonishes me I am going to say, "well, dildo f*ck an elf..."

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

Don G:
What are ya TALKING about? Girls are made of sugar and spice...(there was something wrong with their toilet. *winki-wink*)

LMAO. Nice one. I'd jump on your bandwagon, but I think I'd shock MYSELF saying that...plus what if that slipped out within my neighbor's hearing? She might catch on...*shakes head and laughs some more...*

Jay said...

Well thank god you at least have a cute kid to blame it on!

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

LMAO....Jay, ain't that the truth! ;)