Monday, June 06, 2005

I left my contact and my heart in England

Yes, can you believe it? In the UK a mere 24 hours and I flushed it,

leaving me half-blind. I had them long enough to clearly view the

well-dressed black woman squatting at the rear bumper of his car (30

minutes in the country) and the hail that came down another 5 hours

later, but from there it was a blur. It caused some funny situations.

On day 2 I was hit on in a pub, by being asked "Are you OK?" by a

little cluster of British boys. After taking a second to assure them

that I was, I immediately walked myself into a mirror. From there I

was left to grope the wall in search of a way to open the girl's room

door that had been engineered to be inconspicuous, and lay flush with

the wall. I heard a ripple of laughter behind me as I fumbled around.

This was not the only instance of toilet mishap. I walked up close to

many bathrooms, squinting, trying to discern the writing, throughout

the entire journey through London, Oxford and Bath. Following a lunch

of fish and chips at Oxford's self-proclaimed best-pub, I headed off

in the direction of the bathroom, to find that it was the boy's room.

Furthermore, the girl's had been located directly across from my

seat, less than 10 feet away. The older gentleman watching the

situation, remarked that I may not want to go into the gent's although

it may pleasantly surprise someone�.



He was a complete sweetheart about the situation. He drove on the

wrong side of the road (in my estimation *wink*), navigating to new

places by himself, all the while saying, "look how quickly we found

our [insert destination here]!" He'd always explain our routes and

finish off with a "Does that sound good?" , to which I'd nod my blind

head and play along with the game; the game being that I was

contributing anything at all to the travel process, to deserve any bit

of consideration while decrypting our routes or any fraction of the

praise for successful arrival. What I *did* deserve was blame for the

bathroom that I so clumsily flooded and for forgetting my raincoat,

leading my sweet to become drenched on several occasions while I wore

his parka (What a git aye? Neglecting to pack the raincoat on her

trip to *England*, for god's sake.). He would gently tease me about it

all, ask me if I was doing OK, and then lead me to the next

destination that my heart desired. We traveled that way through

England for 5 days, hand-in-hand and oblivious to the world.



And now I've returned to America, to my girl, to my medical writing,

left to ache and pine and lust for more wanderings through a place

3000 miles away with the boy who's claimed my heart.

14 comments:

ergo said...

Half-blind? OMFG!

And here I thought traveling across an ocean to meet you blog-crush in a foreign country was the adventurous part.

You kill me.
=D
(new smiley in Lever's honor)
And I'm so happy for you.

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

Ergo:
I'm always glad to step it up to a new level, for ya dear. *wink*

And thanks, although all this has me feeling disfunctional...OK, that's a lie. It's probably more than just a feeling. ;)

Jay said...

Well that was silly of you. If only I had been around, I could have offered such sage advice as: do not flush your contact!
You know, I don't think I've owned a raincoat since I was 4 years old. I just get rained on. It's not so bad.
Sounds like you enjoyed yourself though, so horray for that, even if you did leave a funny impression on them!

Sassy said...

Ooooh...England! Not that I've ever been, but it sounds like you had the best kind of tour guide! too bad about the half-blind bit.

Unknown said...

damn good thing you weren't in scotland! you would have been in trouble! the english rather demure in comparison

searchingforMrDarcy said...

Girl, sometime you are such a big disaster! Glad your back, glad you had fun, ahh to actually like someone! One must wonder if you know what he looks like though. ;) since you were half blind. Does he have any cute English friends for me?

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

Jay:
Well, that's easy then. You're coming with me next time.

Anna:
Nice to meet you. Yeah, the blind bit just makes it so I *have* to go back, if just to see it all *better* next time, aye?
*wink*

Narthex:
Is this future travel advice? I'd like Turkey or the coast of Spain to be my next destination if at all possible, actually...So I'll be safe from the Scottish. *wink*

SMFD:
Well, I'm near-sighted, so I feel confident on the "he's cute" front, but thanks. Thanks for looking out for me though. ;)
And, uh, I dunno 'bout the friend situation...

Lever said...

1. Flushed contact down sink in London hotel
2. Couldn't find bathroom door in London bar
3. Got wrong bathroom door in (London) Mexican restaurant
4. Flooded floor in Oxford bathroom
5. Oxford again - went to turn water on in bathroom and showered head instead
6. More Oxford - nearly entered the gents bathroom in pub
7. Town of Bath - had problems flushing...

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but there seems to be a pattern emerging here sweetheart... ;) x

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

My Lever:
*laughing.....* I thought that maybe we could at least keep my need for remedial flushing 101 under wraps. But, that's cool...my folly exposed for the entertainment of others... *laughing....*
And wait, what was the pattern that I was detecting? That I need you to help/laugh at me?

Lever said...

My BBFK: LOL, no, no, not at all sweetheart *flutters eyelashes* you know I'd help you anyday and always laugh with you, honey. I just thought you'd maybe forgotten some of those items, and wanted you to remember the fun of accidentally showering your head rather than just running the taps, force-its, or whatever you call 'em *shrugs + laughs*

Anonymous said...

Cool, so where are the photos, guys!?!?! (glad my gossip sensors have paid off again - I knew as soon as I read "in search of blue skies" and then Lever went off the air, after posting about planes) Happy travels on the love raft, my blog buddies, and don't let the distance get you down...

Crit (blogger is being a dickhead with comments)

Sassy said...

Nice to meet you, too!

Jay said...

Dearest Becky, I have heard that there is a whole story involving the shower head. I do hope we will hear it soon!

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

My Lever:
*laughing* No dear, nice try. (although the eye flutter did *get* me for a bit.) *I'm* the one charged with remembering these things, *you're* responsibility is making sure I don't get lost or wet, aye? :)

Mummy/Crit:
Thanks sweetie! *big smiles*
And a photo is on the way.....

Anna:
:)

Jay:
Yes, my follies will soon be revealed. (I like how i'm not safe from teasing even on your blog comments...) :)