about the fish....
"Devon takes a bath ALL day!"
about one of the animals we visited this weekend....
"Dogs LIKE to go up your dress!"
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Friday, April 14, 2006
Lexicon Laughs
My favorite new term: "recreational genomics". Apparently, new science companies have emerged—like DNAPrint—which will sequence your DNA to determine your ethnic ancestry for a "small" fee. The angle: the results could allow you to check minority boxes on financial aid forms for college, for example.
Of course, there are excellent reasons for undergoing genetic testing, as well...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night, Noel had me rolling with laughter.
She told me, "I'm SICK!!! There's a thorn in my tummy! Call the fire department!!"
Raucous laughter was probably NOT the proper "good" Mommy response, but I couldn't help myself. I dialed my brother the doctor, once my snorting subsided...
Of course, there are excellent reasons for undergoing genetic testing, as well...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night, Noel had me rolling with laughter.
She told me, "I'm SICK!!! There's a thorn in my tummy! Call the fire department!!"
Raucous laughter was probably NOT the proper "good" Mommy response, but I couldn't help myself. I dialed my brother the doctor, once my snorting subsided...
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Where I sit
There's gotta be some truth to this, 'cause I ended up in the same quarter as Gandhi and in the blue zone....
You are a Social Liberal (63% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (10% permissive) You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test |
Monday, April 03, 2006
Diggin' in Deep
Noel looked at her handiwork (a.k.a. poop) tonight and proclaimed, ‘Awww. It’s cute!”
Prodding me to reply: “Do ya wanna keep it?” (facetiously of course).
Disappointingly, she said, ‘Yes.”
I had to dig myself out of that hole quickly and thus replied, “Well poops are yucky and squishy.”
She countered with, “Silly putty is squishy.”
I closed my argument with, “Yes, but silly putty isn’t stinky.”
See what I get myself into?
;)
Prodding me to reply: “Do ya wanna keep it?” (facetiously of course).
Disappointingly, she said, ‘Yes.”
I had to dig myself out of that hole quickly and thus replied, “Well poops are yucky and squishy.”
She countered with, “Silly putty is squishy.”
I closed my argument with, “Yes, but silly putty isn’t stinky.”
See what I get myself into?
;)
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Rock me, Baby
Gently.
Gently, I said, you b@stards!
Damn, I was pounded last night. I'm still taking stock of the bruises.
That's what I get for desiring pictures of Rob Zombie and getting
close enough to take a decent one (that man is FIT, I tell you!). At
least you get the fruits of my labors without the suffocating smells,
sweat, and constant pressing and pushing....(was that an inappropriate
grope/pelvic thrust that I just felt, or just another person landing
on my backside?) There was so much of it all, I almost became
desensitized to it (well, except for the occasional odors that drifted
up from the bog.)
And there was....rum and coke without the coke; looking after the
little girls; little-girl moshing advice: "Just push back...er...that
one was my boyfriend."; the hippy fight erupting 2 feet away (do
hippies punch like that?); show-her-tits girl; help from random men;
smashed glasses on the floor; a drink down my pants; booby picture
shows; guitarist from Motley Crue; House of 1000 Corpses clown;
guitarist suggestively-squirted-water on my face; and GOOD music...old
school White ZOmbie and Rob ZOmbie: More Human Than Human, Living Dead
Girl, Never Gonna Stop, Spookshow Baby; then new stuff (from Educated
Horses): Foxy Foxy, Lord's of Salem.
Gently, I said, you b@stards!
Damn, I was pounded last night. I'm still taking stock of the bruises.
That's what I get for desiring pictures of Rob Zombie and getting
close enough to take a decent one (that man is FIT, I tell you!). At
least you get the fruits of my labors without the suffocating smells,
sweat, and constant pressing and pushing....(was that an inappropriate
grope/pelvic thrust that I just felt, or just another person landing
on my backside?) There was so much of it all, I almost became
desensitized to it (well, except for the occasional odors that drifted
up from the bog.)
And there was....rum and coke without the coke; looking after the
little girls; little-girl moshing advice: "Just push back...er...that
one was my boyfriend."; the hippy fight erupting 2 feet away (do
hippies punch like that?); show-her-tits girl; help from random men;
smashed glasses on the floor; a drink down my pants; booby picture
shows; guitarist from Motley Crue; House of 1000 Corpses clown;
guitarist suggestively-squirted-water on my face; and GOOD music...old
school White ZOmbie and Rob ZOmbie: More Human Than Human, Living Dead
Girl, Never Gonna Stop, Spookshow Baby; then new stuff (from Educated
Horses): Foxy Foxy, Lord's of Salem.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Monday, March 06, 2006
Russian Mardi Gras
...is the pre-Lenten celebration that apparently lasts a full week (those party animals...our stamina is only a day *wink*)
Anyways, this weekend we partook in some of the celebration, by consuming Russian pancakes filled with sour cream and caviar. I confirmed that my little girl is an eccentric, at the ripe old age of 4: she wouldn't have any of the pancakes, but took many helpings of caviar. For me, the pancakes were the only way to consume those popping, salty sacs....it was much safer when they were hidden by pancake.
On a completely different note, my lady has learned how to fix my (running) toilet. :D
Anyways, this weekend we partook in some of the celebration, by consuming Russian pancakes filled with sour cream and caviar. I confirmed that my little girl is an eccentric, at the ripe old age of 4: she wouldn't have any of the pancakes, but took many helpings of caviar. For me, the pancakes were the only way to consume those popping, salty sacs....it was much safer when they were hidden by pancake.
On a completely different note, my lady has learned how to fix my (running) toilet. :D
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Adventures in Bumblefuck-Land
The sum of this past weekend was consumed with a trip west to upstate NY.
I had the extreme fortune early on in the trip of rendezvousing at a lovely little Thai restaurant with a friend that I rarely see. SO rarely, that I was even more horrified and embarrassed than usual when Noel:
a.) farted during dinner b.) discussed kissing the friend c.) declared, "Just let me LOOK at it!" referring to a freckle on my arm that she has a fascination with.
Hopefully, most of these things went under the radar. ;)
Later on, in that same leg of the journey, I found myself saying to a nice older lady, "Well, it's OK, I can just call my parents to help me out." What am I? Age 15?
One lovely discovery made while home, must be credited to my Mom. Thanks to her "browse this magazine" suggestion I was able to find this very sacrilegious food item. Take note: ingesting the lamb of god is calorie-free!
And then the picture here was taken during the return trip. I used to watch that show religiously (well, at least as regular as I can be about TV programming).
I had the extreme fortune early on in the trip of rendezvousing at a lovely little Thai restaurant with a friend that I rarely see. SO rarely, that I was even more horrified and embarrassed than usual when Noel:
a.) farted during dinner b.) discussed kissing the friend c.) declared, "Just let me LOOK at it!" referring to a freckle on my arm that she has a fascination with.
Hopefully, most of these things went under the radar. ;)
Later on, in that same leg of the journey, I found myself saying to a nice older lady, "Well, it's OK, I can just call my parents to help me out." What am I? Age 15?
One lovely discovery made while home, must be credited to my Mom. Thanks to her "browse this magazine" suggestion I was able to find this very sacrilegious food item. Take note: ingesting the lamb of god is calorie-free!
And then the picture here was taken during the return trip. I used to watch that show religiously (well, at least as regular as I can be about TV programming).
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
What's Cookin' Honey?
"I need something CHEESY"
- Wallace and Gromit
Cheesy Tuna Shell Casserole
1 tbsp margarine
1 medium onion
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 1/4 cups milk
1 tsp worcestershire sauce
1/2 tsp prepared mustard
1/4 tsp pepper
2 cups (8 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese
1 can (6 ounces) tuna (drained)
1 cup frozen peas
8 ounces shell pasta
1/2 cup crushed potato chips
1.) Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Cook the shell pasta in boiling water (about 11 minutes) and drain.
2.) While the pasta is cooking (pronounced "pes-ta" if you're British *wink*) chop the onion.
3.) Melt the margarine over high heat in a 2-quart sauce pan and then add the chopped onions (saute 3 minutes).
4.) Stir in the soup, milk, worcestershire sauce, mustard, and pepper. Stir frequently and bring to a boil.
5.) Remove from the heat and stir in the cheese until smooth.
6.) Add the tuna (separating it into flakes with a fork) and the peas.
7.) Combine the tuna mixture and the cooked shells in a 2 quart casserole dish.
8.) Crush the potato chips and sprinkle them over the top.
9.) Bake at 350 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes (until heated throughout.)
4-year-old Review:
Picked off potato chips for consumption after eating several shells. Then picked through mixture for the peas.
Two Hours Later: "My teeth are very stinky. I must go change them."
Thirty-two year old review: Nice flavor and texture. I'll deal with the stinky teeth just to get this in my belly...
("I'm just CRACKERS about cheese!" - W &G)
- Wallace and Gromit
Cheesy Tuna Shell Casserole
1 tbsp margarine
1 medium onion
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 1/4 cups milk
1 tsp worcestershire sauce
1/2 tsp prepared mustard
1/4 tsp pepper
2 cups (8 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese
1 can (6 ounces) tuna (drained)
1 cup frozen peas
8 ounces shell pasta
1/2 cup crushed potato chips
1.) Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Cook the shell pasta in boiling water (about 11 minutes) and drain.
2.) While the pasta is cooking (pronounced "pes-ta" if you're British *wink*) chop the onion.
3.) Melt the margarine over high heat in a 2-quart sauce pan and then add the chopped onions (saute 3 minutes).
4.) Stir in the soup, milk, worcestershire sauce, mustard, and pepper. Stir frequently and bring to a boil.
5.) Remove from the heat and stir in the cheese until smooth.
6.) Add the tuna (separating it into flakes with a fork) and the peas.
7.) Combine the tuna mixture and the cooked shells in a 2 quart casserole dish.
8.) Crush the potato chips and sprinkle them over the top.
9.) Bake at 350 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes (until heated throughout.)
4-year-old Review:
Picked off potato chips for consumption after eating several shells. Then picked through mixture for the peas.
Two Hours Later: "My teeth are very stinky. I must go change them."
Thirty-two year old review: Nice flavor and texture. I'll deal with the stinky teeth just to get this in my belly...
("I'm just CRACKERS about cheese!" - W &G)
Monday, February 13, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Stuck
The gracious upstairs neighbors asked us up to partake in the great American tradition of consuming large amounts of food and beer (probably Budweiser) whilest watching the Superbowl and hoping for some obnoxious "scandal" such as a nipple siting. SO we did it.
Before going, I told myself that I was not allowed to get drunk, as that would greatly increase the liklihood of disclosing the amount of sex that I've heard them have.
It was good that this was established from the start, because the conversation turned that way, without any prompting.
S:"So. I can sometimes hear your conversations through the airvents."
BBFK:"Oh, sorry."
S:"No problem, I just turn up the music or something. It just makes me wonder if you can hear us through the vents, too."
BBFK:"Umm...nope, I've never heard any of your conversations...."
S:"It's not conversations that I'm worried about. Especially since you have a little girl."
BBFK: *silence* *slurps drink* "Right. SO It looks like the refs have been paid off by some Steelers supporters..."
Later on in the evening.....
BBFK:"It's neat that you guys are involved in Renaissance festivals."
S:"Well, it's more than that. It's more role playing in costume. I've been this elf-character for 18 years now."
*Noel runs into the back room*
S: *nervous glance at boyfriend* "Honey, are all the toys in the bedroom put away?"
BBFK: *tries not to juxtapose the last 2 bits of conversation along with the routine pounding/escalating sreaming sounds that often filter down from the vents*
Even later, that same night....
S's boyfriend: *comes back from the back rooms that BBFK has been avoiding" "Noel just said she needed to make a poop."
BBFK:*rushes to feet* "OK..." *runs to bathroom in the back and finds Noel already in process* "Oh, Noel we could have just gone downstairs...." *Noel finishes business and leaves BBFK to flush*
*flushes toilet*
*small movement*
*flushes again*
*water rises*
*panic starts*
*waits*
*waits*
*water lowers some*
*flushes again*
*water rises*
*skin gets red and spotty with panic*
*waits*
*waits*
*no movement*
*wishes for some heavy alcohol*
*walks out to report the stuck toilet*
*walks back to bathroom with neighbor*
*neighbor ineffectively plunges for 10 minutes while I look on profusely apologizing and trading bad bathroom stories*
*neighbor's boyfriend checks in and unclogs toilet with a flick of the wrist and a single plunge*
*BBFK finishes beer and goes home with toilet-clogging 4 year old*
Before going, I told myself that I was not allowed to get drunk, as that would greatly increase the liklihood of disclosing the amount of sex that I've heard them have.
It was good that this was established from the start, because the conversation turned that way, without any prompting.
S:"So. I can sometimes hear your conversations through the airvents."
BBFK:"Oh, sorry."
S:"No problem, I just turn up the music or something. It just makes me wonder if you can hear us through the vents, too."
BBFK:"Umm...nope, I've never heard any of your conversations...."
S:"It's not conversations that I'm worried about. Especially since you have a little girl."
BBFK: *silence* *slurps drink* "Right. SO It looks like the refs have been paid off by some Steelers supporters..."
Later on in the evening.....
BBFK:"It's neat that you guys are involved in Renaissance festivals."
S:"Well, it's more than that. It's more role playing in costume. I've been this elf-character for 18 years now."
*Noel runs into the back room*
S: *nervous glance at boyfriend* "Honey, are all the toys in the bedroom put away?"
BBFK: *tries not to juxtapose the last 2 bits of conversation along with the routine pounding/escalating sreaming sounds that often filter down from the vents*
Even later, that same night....
S's boyfriend: *comes back from the back rooms that BBFK has been avoiding" "Noel just said she needed to make a poop."
BBFK:*rushes to feet* "OK..." *runs to bathroom in the back and finds Noel already in process* "Oh, Noel we could have just gone downstairs...." *Noel finishes business and leaves BBFK to flush*
*flushes toilet*
*small movement*
*flushes again*
*water rises*
*panic starts*
*waits*
*waits*
*water lowers some*
*flushes again*
*water rises*
*skin gets red and spotty with panic*
*waits*
*waits*
*no movement*
*wishes for some heavy alcohol*
*walks out to report the stuck toilet*
*walks back to bathroom with neighbor*
*neighbor ineffectively plunges for 10 minutes while I look on profusely apologizing and trading bad bathroom stories*
*neighbor's boyfriend checks in and unclogs toilet with a flick of the wrist and a single plunge*
*BBFK finishes beer and goes home with toilet-clogging 4 year old*
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
The last bit of the Top 10 Things I meant to Blog about during the Holidays
5.) The rift in language between American and British English is deeper than I had suspected. I think the British make their language cuter. They have a proclivity to add "ie" or "y" to the ends of words (such as Curly Wurly) and add extra vowels (famously, "u"). Oh, and their tendency to give suspicious names to yummy foods hasn't gone unnoticed either...such as "clotted cream", "spotted dick", and "bangers and mash". Of course, they also hide terrible foods behind seemingly innocuous names: white pudding, for instance. Then there's the confusion associated with words such as "pudding" and "tea". To an American, these both specify a single food or drink item, while to an Englishman pudding could mean dessert or various different foods ranging from blood and fat sausage to a bready accompaniment to roast beef, and tea could indicate a meal, a drink, or a fancy between-meal snack.
4.)Written during one of the flights to Rochester, NY from London...
It took the bankrupting of an airlines for me to realize the drama of the past day. As I sat listening to the most heartfelt Safety Speech I’d ever heard accompanied by a large dose of meaningful looks, I started to sum up what I’d seen, heard, and experienced. Our hostess named December took pictures of her friends while we were boarding and explained that they had been informed on Tuesday of the demise of Independence Airline. She was not the only one I observed making tearful last goodbyes, expounding on future plans, and expressing surprise and sadness at the situation. It felt odd observing the life-changing events whilest harboring my personal desires to be wisked home to my daughter. Certainly, missing her was one of the 2 reasons for my own drama. The other was for wont of my sweetheart. Leaving him caused me to cry in 2 countries, and in 2 states resulting in a pounding headache. I dehydrated myself and resultingly, drank a liter of water between flights.
3.) Inspired by a recent viewing of Dreamer-the 2005 movie with Dakota Fanning, Noel rode on Hocus Pocus the horse all by herself while visiting our family in Virginia. Before boarding she said, "I want to race!"; once in the saddle, she told Hocus Pocus, "Go slowly." That's my girl.
2.) I received both a radar/laser detector and a speeding ticket (in that order) over the holiday. I figured my brother who got me the detector was taking the piss out of me (I hadn't asked for one), but then again just maybe I deserved it.
1.) My trip to England made patently clear that I miss Noel when she's not around. I was heartbroken by the end of the trip and vowed that she needed to go with me in the future to experience wading in the sea with tall, rubber boots, the super cool Natural History museum with a movement sensing, life-sized T. Rex, the Castles (she's into queens and kings), and hikes in the forest.
Anyways, cheers to Virginia and England...both lovely destinations for the holidays....
4.)Written during one of the flights to Rochester, NY from London...
It took the bankrupting of an airlines for me to realize the drama of the past day. As I sat listening to the most heartfelt Safety Speech I’d ever heard accompanied by a large dose of meaningful looks, I started to sum up what I’d seen, heard, and experienced. Our hostess named December took pictures of her friends while we were boarding and explained that they had been informed on Tuesday of the demise of Independence Airline. She was not the only one I observed making tearful last goodbyes, expounding on future plans, and expressing surprise and sadness at the situation. It felt odd observing the life-changing events whilest harboring my personal desires to be wisked home to my daughter. Certainly, missing her was one of the 2 reasons for my own drama. The other was for wont of my sweetheart. Leaving him caused me to cry in 2 countries, and in 2 states resulting in a pounding headache. I dehydrated myself and resultingly, drank a liter of water between flights.
3.) Inspired by a recent viewing of Dreamer-the 2005 movie with Dakota Fanning, Noel rode on Hocus Pocus the horse all by herself while visiting our family in Virginia. Before boarding she said, "I want to race!"; once in the saddle, she told Hocus Pocus, "Go slowly." That's my girl.
2.) I received both a radar/laser detector and a speeding ticket (in that order) over the holiday. I figured my brother who got me the detector was taking the piss out of me (I hadn't asked for one), but then again just maybe I deserved it.
1.) My trip to England made patently clear that I miss Noel when she's not around. I was heartbroken by the end of the trip and vowed that she needed to go with me in the future to experience wading in the sea with tall, rubber boots, the super cool Natural History museum with a movement sensing, life-sized T. Rex, the Castles (she's into queens and kings), and hikes in the forest.
Anyways, cheers to Virginia and England...both lovely destinations for the holidays....
Ket-chup
You gotta wonder what your day has in store for you when you slip on a rotting banana peel on the way in from the parking garage. A Three Stooges kinda day seems relatively harmless and certainly amusing....hmmmm...
In the mean time, I am fantasticly behind on my blogging. It only took 5 days of telling myself, "I'm gonna blog TODAY" to actually sit down and do it. I've got the usual excuses...traveling, a blur of holiday-related events, oh and just being in more of a "reading"-mood than "writing"-mood. I just finished a Confederacy of Dunces actually. It turned out to be an excellent book for a laugh and anyone who wants to slag-off their job.
Anyways, here's the top 10 things that I meant to blog about during my recent hiatus away from this forum....
10.) Happy New Year's to my lovely blogland friends!!!
9.) Noel saved a bird. Well, at least the clever girl heard a bird flapping around our front hallway and alerted me...then we let him out. This is the fourth time this has happened in a year period. I need to investigate how they get in...(my guess is the vent to my bathroom...but how that connects to the front hallway is another matter...)
8.) There's been some solid movies available lately...my favs: The 40 year Old Virgin; Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; The Constant Gardner.
7.) Noel has gotten successful enough at eating with chopsticks that she wouldn't starve. I figure that's a good marker.
6.) I managed to regain my ability to eat at a human pace during my trip to England and have maintained it since then. Woohoo!
OK. AND I will stop there, lest I never push the "Publish Post" button. ;)
In the mean time, I am fantasticly behind on my blogging. It only took 5 days of telling myself, "I'm gonna blog TODAY" to actually sit down and do it. I've got the usual excuses...traveling, a blur of holiday-related events, oh and just being in more of a "reading"-mood than "writing"-mood. I just finished a Confederacy of Dunces actually. It turned out to be an excellent book for a laugh and anyone who wants to slag-off their job.
Anyways, here's the top 10 things that I meant to blog about during my recent hiatus away from this forum....
10.) Happy New Year's to my lovely blogland friends!!!
9.) Noel saved a bird. Well, at least the clever girl heard a bird flapping around our front hallway and alerted me...then we let him out. This is the fourth time this has happened in a year period. I need to investigate how they get in...(my guess is the vent to my bathroom...but how that connects to the front hallway is another matter...)
8.) There's been some solid movies available lately...my favs: The 40 year Old Virgin; Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; The Constant Gardner.
7.) Noel has gotten successful enough at eating with chopsticks that she wouldn't starve. I figure that's a good marker.
6.) I managed to regain my ability to eat at a human pace during my trip to England and have maintained it since then. Woohoo!
OK. AND I will stop there, lest I never push the "Publish Post" button. ;)
Monday, December 12, 2005
The Doctor is IN.
Here is the scene:
Playdate number 4: Noel's pad.
After wreaking havoc by extracting every toy in the house from its
original location or container, Big Boy Bryant and Noel engage in a
round of Doctor/Patient, where Noel plays the sick one.
Let me stress: This was a well-supervised activity.
And now it's time for the "I rock"-dance 'cause, directly after all
that play, I successfully fed BBB pasta followed by freshly baked
scones. AND HE ASKED FOR MORE. That was my proudest moment of the
first half of December.
Playdate number 4: Noel's pad.
After wreaking havoc by extracting every toy in the house from its
original location or container, Big Boy Bryant and Noel engage in a
round of Doctor/Patient, where Noel plays the sick one.
Let me stress: This was a well-supervised activity.
And now it's time for the "I rock"-dance 'cause, directly after all
that play, I successfully fed BBB pasta followed by freshly baked
scones. AND HE ASKED FOR MORE. That was my proudest moment of the
first half of December.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Holiday Happy
There were two things that were very pleasing tonight.
First, I managed to purchase a St. Nicholas present for Noel, right
under her nose. The pharmacist was even in on it, and hid the present
from view. I love collaborative efforts to surprise people,
especially when it involves the help of random, nice people.
Second, during our dinner out, the Christmas tunes revolved to the
song "Noel, Noel". You should have seen my girl's (Noel's) face! She
had an adorable, almost 4-year-old expression that was a mixture of
shyness and extreme happiness. Her grin was blazing...
*satisfied sigh*
oooo, these things make me happy...
First, I managed to purchase a St. Nicholas present for Noel, right
under her nose. The pharmacist was even in on it, and hid the present
from view. I love collaborative efforts to surprise people,
especially when it involves the help of random, nice people.
Second, during our dinner out, the Christmas tunes revolved to the
song "Noel, Noel". You should have seen my girl's (Noel's) face! She
had an adorable, almost 4-year-old expression that was a mixture of
shyness and extreme happiness. Her grin was blazing...
*satisfied sigh*
oooo, these things make me happy...
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