Other people's sex

My upstairs neighbor took her sex elsewhere this weekend. I saw her run out the door with a
suitcase yesterday morning. But now my mind's been revolving around my experiences with other people's sex....

Several years back, I had a roommate that was very, very dirty. And he would take things and put
them in odd places. He was gone that year over Thanksgiving break, while I decided to host a
feast for my friends. Well, in the middle of foodprep, I realized that I needed my can opener, but was
completely unable to locate it in all the usual places (i.e. the kitchen.) I had to resort to searching the
dirty-man's room, and man, was I sorry. The highlight of that little foray was taking a gander under his bed
and finding a pile of used condoms that would have kept all of South Africa safe for a month. (Small
props to him for not procreating some dirty little children....) At that point I concluded that even if I *had*
been able to locate the can opener, the required sterilization process would have been too involved(besides I couldn't hold my breath in that *stank* room any longer). It was never found.
Instead, the thing that was blatantly *in my face* was a horrendous monstrosity that the dirty roommate told
himself was a fountain. Yeah, well, anyone in their right mind would instead have identified it as a jumble of rocks inappropriately located in a living room and and primed to either a.) stub your toe, b.) wreak major water damage
havok on the poor, unsuspecting housemates below, c.) induce regular trips to the bathroom by the power of suggestion
of the trickle of water, or d.) kill someone when it fell through the 2 floors below. Had I *mentioned* that this "art"
was made of several concrete cinder blocks and a collection of other obtuse rocks? (I know* you're thinking,
"Well, with components like that, how could it NOT be art?" Uh,...Right.) Yes, not only was it UGLY, but it was also
extremely unwieldy and impossible to make disappear. Just thinking about it makes me miss the dirty man, um,
I mean miss the $150 bucks that the dirty man, to this day, still owes me. (He was a roommate low.)