I dare you!
Friday, January 26, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Monday, January 22, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Images of the last couple months...
(I'll give ya more, but let me just tease you with a little taste first...)
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Ya know....
Showered....dressed.
Ready to go.
Time to get the lil Lady.
Right. And the volvo.....is not working. *sigh*
OK, time to fire up the 'ole leg power.
After navigating the debris of the back driveway, I push off toward the school.
Me in my nice outfit complete with black pointy high heels pedaling away with the caravan in tow....
Round the roundabout...down the lane...over the Curly Bridge, avoiding the doodoo...slow passing along the mucky path...around the tree-branches littering the walkway...less than 10 minutes late.
Turn back around...fighting the blustery winds...navigating around the clumps of blinkered Mums....sugar low (oops, forgot lunch)...starting to sweat...goddamn that volvo....f'it, I'm walking.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Favorite Request of 2007 (so far)
[early morning hours]
Noel: "Mommy, I look cold."
"I need a hot cuddle."
Noel: "Mommy, I look cold."
"I need a hot cuddle."
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
The School Report
And I quote, "Ruben tried to get my knickers!"
And I know he was a BAD BOY, because he was described as having a Big Skull bracelet with lots of Fire all over it.
And I know he was a BAD BOY, because he was described as having a Big Skull bracelet with lots of Fire all over it.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Do the right thing.....
Alright boys and girls.
This is it.
A.) VOTE. VOTE. VOTE.
B.) Get your friends/neighbors/loved ones/co-workers/enemies voting as well.
C.) Get your priorities straight. Enter the voting booth and for once, instead of thinking about your bank accounts, think about minimizing the deaths of our fellow Americans. Don't allow any more soldiers to be sent away; don't allow the executive branch to have their way. Show the world that we ARE a true democracy-even if the popular vote did not successfully elect the president that we wanted, there are checks and balances....
And if you can, please....
P.S. If you vote based on family values, you better read this... http://select.nytimes.com/2006/11/01/opinion/01talkingpoints.html?pagewanted=all
This is it.
A.) VOTE. VOTE. VOTE.
B.) Get your friends/neighbors/loved ones/co-workers/enemies voting as well.
C.) Get your priorities straight. Enter the voting booth and for once, instead of thinking about your bank accounts, think about minimizing the deaths of our fellow Americans. Don't allow any more soldiers to be sent away; don't allow the executive branch to have their way. Show the world that we ARE a true democracy-even if the popular vote did not successfully elect the president that we wanted, there are checks and balances....
And if you can, please....
P.S. If you vote based on family values, you better read this... http://select.nytimes.com/2006/11/01/opinion/01talkingpoints.html?pagewanted=all
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Close calls
We needed some chocolate chips; we needed a pizza tray. Now. These were the reasons I had to fire up the ole' Volvo engine and venture out into the world, driving on the wrong side of the road. Well, to me anyways.
We made it safely to our destination and acquired the goods. *ahem* Acquired them legally, that is, what were you thinking?!?
There were a couple of disagreements over who should carry the size 5 child's coat, and an accusation (while hungry) from the little one that I, "hurt her eyebrows." erm....
After a bit of dilly-dallying with good intentions (buying presents for little bundles of joy who will be arriving soon), we made it back out to the parking lot to where the nice parking ticket man was standing next to my car. He was busy poking at buttons on his machine when I said hello. He apologized, then after a few moments told me: "The paper is stuck in my printer. You will get away before I can give you a ticket." This sounded very racy and illegal to me, so I asked for further clarification. He said that I was not going to get a ticket....which was especially nice because it would have put me back a hefty 30 pounds sterling (obviously I should have inserted another 40 pence into the meter.)
I felt pretty good about it, especially because this trip's close call was only a parking violation...not the moving violation that I earned (but did not receive) the last time I was on the road.
Now to be fair, the last time I was on the road was also the first time that I had driven in England. So, maybe I shouldn't feel too bad that I almost crashed at a roundabout on the way to the store, then drove so cautiously home that I was passed by a scooter. I'd say this times close call with a parking ticket was head and heels above that.... ;)
We made it safely to our destination and acquired the goods. *ahem* Acquired them legally, that is, what were you thinking?!?
There were a couple of disagreements over who should carry the size 5 child's coat, and an accusation (while hungry) from the little one that I, "hurt her eyebrows." erm....
After a bit of dilly-dallying with good intentions (buying presents for little bundles of joy who will be arriving soon), we made it back out to the parking lot to where the nice parking ticket man was standing next to my car. He was busy poking at buttons on his machine when I said hello. He apologized, then after a few moments told me: "The paper is stuck in my printer. You will get away before I can give you a ticket." This sounded very racy and illegal to me, so I asked for further clarification. He said that I was not going to get a ticket....which was especially nice because it would have put me back a hefty 30 pounds sterling (obviously I should have inserted another 40 pence into the meter.)
I felt pretty good about it, especially because this trip's close call was only a parking violation...not the moving violation that I earned (but did not receive) the last time I was on the road.
Now to be fair, the last time I was on the road was also the first time that I had driven in England. So, maybe I shouldn't feel too bad that I almost crashed at a roundabout on the way to the store, then drove so cautiously home that I was passed by a scooter. I'd say this times close call with a parking ticket was head and heels above that.... ;)
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Strange Love
*crying*
*wailing*
*crying*
hmmm.....
*jog up the stairs*
*crying*
"What's wrong?"
"What's WRONG?"
*crying*
"C'mere, I'll pick you up..."
*gush*
*wetness*
*dripping*
Friday the 13th ended with my daughter releasing her full bladder on me. She wasn't awake and seemingly doesn't even remember it today.
*wailing*
*crying*
hmmm.....
*jog up the stairs*
*crying*
"What's wrong?"
"What's WRONG?"
*crying*
"C'mere, I'll pick you up..."
*gush*
*wetness*
*dripping*
Friday the 13th ended with my daughter releasing her full bladder on me. She wasn't awake and seemingly doesn't even remember it today.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Grumble, grumble....moan
HAZE....
TAPPING.
FURR.
TAPPING.
TAPPING.
WET.
eh?
"what's that?"
*sniff*...
RECONFIRM
*sniff, sniff*
"My ARM!"
"Here smell my arm."
You know that Friday the 13th has kicked off in resounding glory when it's encroaching 4 am, and your arm and sheet next to your head (READ: nose) had cat shit on it.
TAPPING.
FURR.
TAPPING.
TAPPING.
WET.
eh?
"what's that?"
*sniff*...
RECONFIRM
*sniff, sniff*
"My ARM!"
"Here smell my arm."
You know that Friday the 13th has kicked off in resounding glory when it's encroaching 4 am, and your arm and sheet next to your head (READ: nose) had cat shit on it.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Notable observations
Before noon, I had received 47 SPAM on an account that I typically receive 2 per day.
There was a veritable poop mine on the Curly Bridge today. I like to tell myself that I managed to avoid it all.
The shopping mall had a advertising nugget that assured me that people are the same everywhere. It read, "20% off all Birthday cards!! Hurry, before Christmas!" Erm. That was precisely the same sort of logic that convinced Americans to go to war with Iraq in order to thwart Bin Laden and to make us safe from future 9/11s. Never mind that Bin Laden was either hanging in Pakistan or Afghanistan. But yeah. People have striking similarities despite the different places they call home.
And forgive me political rant. It's my parrr-ty and I'll cry if I want to... ;)
There was a veritable poop mine on the Curly Bridge today. I like to tell myself that I managed to avoid it all.
The shopping mall had a advertising nugget that assured me that people are the same everywhere. It read, "20% off all Birthday cards!! Hurry, before Christmas!" Erm. That was precisely the same sort of logic that convinced Americans to go to war with Iraq in order to thwart Bin Laden and to make us safe from future 9/11s. Never mind that Bin Laden was either hanging in Pakistan or Afghanistan. But yeah. People have striking similarities despite the different places they call home.
And forgive me political rant. It's my parrr-ty and I'll cry if I want to... ;)
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Dying for a present
Snow Day….er, except without the snow. Instead, this 2nd school-free day in a row was sponsored by the Plumber’s Association and the Bloke who Unloaded the Pipe-Clogging Turd. For me it just meant another day battling 4-year-old boredom while struggling to write a manuscript. Oh, right…and yet ANOTHER day that I couldn’t venture out for Lever’s present.
…………………………………………………………………………………………….
So it came right down to the wire. I woke up today, Lever’s birthday, crossing my fingers that the plumbers had sorted things out, that the rain would let up, and that I wouldn’t get desperately lost on the way to procure Lever’s present. In typical form, once I found myself free—thanks to school re-opening, I managed to procrastinate leaving the house with a million meaningless tasks. I finally printed my directions, swallowed all my misgivings, jumped on my bike, and headed towards the forest…
Considering that I had never ventured anywhere significant by myself in the 4 weeks that I had been living here, except by foot....oh right, and then there’s the fact that my route involved a foray in the woods that I had seen only once before….oh, and the fact that the path was of the nature, “Turn left by the old oak tree, then take a right at the thin, pine-needle path, etc.”…oh and of course, the last half of the trip was a combination of bad google map directions and my own improvising….it was a MIRACLE that I found the shop in the next town over 4-5 miles away. I was mud-spattered and wet and more importantly, seriously regretting the white shirt and no bra combination. But hey, bike store, Baby, I made it (and maybe a wet t-shirt discount, too…eh? eh?) I made my purchase, frequently glancing at my watch and acutely aware that I had a mere 40 minutes to pick Noe up from school (and I DID get a discount, but I’m guessing the guy was just trying to butter me up for future sales.)
I sped towards home trying to remember every turn and bend in reverse while ignoring my muddy, aching thighs. It worked for a surprisingly large part of the journey, until a young, camouflage-clad man standing next to a red flag stopped me. Erm…right, gravel road in the middle of nowhere…pretty empty except for the large gathering of military men in a field. He told me that I couldn’t go on, that they were conducting detonations and were “live” at the moment. I put on my best smile and in my American accent pleaded that I couldn’t find my way home unless I could continue on the path. He looked at me sympathetically and walked back to his unit to inquire about the situation. Happily, the British army let me go and I steered around their live ammo.
I did make it to pick up my darling 4-yr-old, a mere 5 minutes late, with the Birthday gift in my backpack. I was tired and very satisfied, having braved the wily paths and the dangerous roads of Farnborough and Fleet, UK….
Cheers my dear Love, Lever. Happy Birthday!
…………………………………………………………………………………………….
So it came right down to the wire. I woke up today, Lever’s birthday, crossing my fingers that the plumbers had sorted things out, that the rain would let up, and that I wouldn’t get desperately lost on the way to procure Lever’s present. In typical form, once I found myself free—thanks to school re-opening, I managed to procrastinate leaving the house with a million meaningless tasks. I finally printed my directions, swallowed all my misgivings, jumped on my bike, and headed towards the forest…
Considering that I had never ventured anywhere significant by myself in the 4 weeks that I had been living here, except by foot....oh right, and then there’s the fact that my route involved a foray in the woods that I had seen only once before….oh, and the fact that the path was of the nature, “Turn left by the old oak tree, then take a right at the thin, pine-needle path, etc.”…oh and of course, the last half of the trip was a combination of bad google map directions and my own improvising….it was a MIRACLE that I found the shop in the next town over 4-5 miles away. I was mud-spattered and wet and more importantly, seriously regretting the white shirt and no bra combination. But hey, bike store, Baby, I made it (and maybe a wet t-shirt discount, too…eh? eh?) I made my purchase, frequently glancing at my watch and acutely aware that I had a mere 40 minutes to pick Noe up from school (and I DID get a discount, but I’m guessing the guy was just trying to butter me up for future sales.)
I sped towards home trying to remember every turn and bend in reverse while ignoring my muddy, aching thighs. It worked for a surprisingly large part of the journey, until a young, camouflage-clad man standing next to a red flag stopped me. Erm…right, gravel road in the middle of nowhere…pretty empty except for the large gathering of military men in a field. He told me that I couldn’t go on, that they were conducting detonations and were “live” at the moment. I put on my best smile and in my American accent pleaded that I couldn’t find my way home unless I could continue on the path. He looked at me sympathetically and walked back to his unit to inquire about the situation. Happily, the British army let me go and I steered around their live ammo.
I did make it to pick up my darling 4-yr-old, a mere 5 minutes late, with the Birthday gift in my backpack. I was tired and very satisfied, having braved the wily paths and the dangerous roads of Farnborough and Fleet, UK….
Cheers my dear Love, Lever. Happy Birthday!
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Foisting culture on Farnborough
The Americans have landed!! The Americans have landed!!
;)
And furthermore, this is what we've done....
We barely managed to get in the country before a terrorist threat
virtually dropped the movement of all UK airports to a
standstill....of course customs did give us our own special
run-around. Then, apparently we were distracting enough to cause a
minor accident on the way to Farnborough that same morning. *whew*
Despite that, we're all in one piece.
After a quick morning trip to the pike-y fair and a full day's spent
at the zoo, I got liquored-up with new British friends while our
lovely kids jumped late into the night on a bouncy castle. It was fun
for all.....even for the poor Sweethearts that had to drive us home.
We bought 'em dinner...er...sort of. We actually just paid for our own
and made use of the 2 for 1 dinner deal. They're still in the dark
about that, though. Shhhhh.
We were invited for a very civilized curry with Noe's first school
teacher. Mmmm, quite lovely. A quick trip to the bog then...*whew*
that was stinky....hmmmm....why was that flush so
ineffective?...erm....again....again....again...ERM....Okey,
okey...now we're getting somewhere....Noe, don't play with that globe
over the toi-LET!...*shakes head*...OK, well, Listerine sterilizes,
right?....good as new. Alrightly, then, back to our friends....
As indicated by the accompanying photographs, we are regulars of the
playground that is a mere 100 meters from our front door. Recently the
British boys I met there were quite tickled by the differences in
American and British
language...knickers..panties....trainers..sneakers....boot..trunk....comfort..fabric
softner....hat..lid....tap..faucet....football..soccer. Heard tell as
I was walking away..."I'm gonna meet an American girl and move
there...." ;)
foist (foist) Pronunciation Key
tr.v. foist·ed, foist·ing, foists
1. To pass off as genuine, valuable, or worthy.
2. To impose (something or someone unwanted) upon another by coercion
or trickery.
Definition 1 or 2?? .....You Decide. ;)
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Moments
(pictures taken by P. Nuzzi)
Americans aren't excessive....A quick trot around my little dead-end
street revealed 29 houses and 67 cars (including only the visible
ones-i.e. not the ones in garages or the ones that were out of
town.)....erm.
Noel's best bud, big boy Bryant said to me as we were leaving school
one day: "Can Noel come over and sleep with me again?" *big sweet,
pleading blue eyes*
Me: *gulp* Er....sure. (And this is officially the ONLY time that I am
agreeing to a request like that from a boy....)
More soon (i.e. not the ridiculous amount of time it took for me to
post this.) ;)
Americans aren't excessive....A quick trot around my little dead-end
street revealed 29 houses and 67 cars (including only the visible
ones-i.e. not the ones in garages or the ones that were out of
town.)....erm.
Noel's best bud, big boy Bryant said to me as we were leaving school
one day: "Can Noel come over and sleep with me again?" *big sweet,
pleading blue eyes*
Me: *gulp* Er....sure. (And this is officially the ONLY time that I am
agreeing to a request like that from a boy....)
More soon (i.e. not the ridiculous amount of time it took for me to
post this.) ;)
Friday, July 07, 2006
Notables
To amuse the teachers....
Noel wore her "All American Girl" shirt today.
To the question: "Are you guys kidding?" We responded, "Well, it's old. and she'll grow out of it."
To amuse the lady on that street....
[watching the cars on the street cruise by, while eating our coconut, chocolate chip, almond ice cream]
Noel: "I want one of those." [points to porsche]
Mom: "Mom will never be able to afford one of those, Babe."
[lady laughs and sympathizes...]
To amuse me.....
Noel: (emphatically) I am NOT food!!!
Noel wore her "All American Girl" shirt today.
To the question: "Are you guys kidding?" We responded, "Well, it's old. and she'll grow out of it."
To amuse the lady on that street....
[watching the cars on the street cruise by, while eating our coconut, chocolate chip, almond ice cream]
Noel: "I want one of those." [points to porsche]
Mom: "Mom will never be able to afford one of those, Babe."
[lady laughs and sympathizes...]
To amuse me.....
Noel: (emphatically) I am NOT food!!!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Legal Angle
The latest batch of travels was not glamorous, but still necessary. Destinations in this round included Delaware, Southern Pennsylvania, and upstate New York.
I was pretty worn down by the end of it, and driving was not ameliorated by the pounding, waterfalls that met my windshield for several consecutive hours.
So after an ice cream break (read: sugar injection), I told my 4-year-old that I didn’t feel like driving any more and nonchalantly asked her if she minded taking over. She stopped dead in her tracks and seriously pondered the offer. However, she reminded me, “Mom, I don’t have a driver’s license.”
“Oh, right”, I said.
Noel responded, “Maybe we could get me one soon…”
Sure, I’ll get right on that….. ;)
I was pretty worn down by the end of it, and driving was not ameliorated by the pounding, waterfalls that met my windshield for several consecutive hours.
So after an ice cream break (read: sugar injection), I told my 4-year-old that I didn’t feel like driving any more and nonchalantly asked her if she minded taking over. She stopped dead in her tracks and seriously pondered the offer. However, she reminded me, “Mom, I don’t have a driver’s license.”
“Oh, right”, I said.
Noel responded, “Maybe we could get me one soon…”
Sure, I’ll get right on that….. ;)
Friday, June 09, 2006
The current 'medium' is the old 'biggie'
Today's been a bit of a mixed bag.
My lovely lady entangled putty in her hair and encrusted it on her pajamas, as well. The nightgown is in the trash along with a chunk of her hair. Unfortunately, the blanket and couch cushion with sticky hot pink goop aren’t quite as easily dealt with….
The bridge that never goes up for tall passing boats actually went up today, stopping traffic for a countless amount of time (lost track).
Wendy's changed how they identify their food. SO when I went to order my burger meal, I was asked a new question: medium size? Er...yeah, that sounds about right. Well, it turns out the current "medium" is the old "biggie". My sizes were all screwed up and I got an absurd amount of food. Then I found that they had given me a diet coke (a.) I don't imbibe or eat ANYTHING diet, and b.) I'd rather use coke to take the paint off my Landlady's BMW than put it in my stomach.) SO, right, I returned the drink and gently mentioned that I had been confused about the sizes due to the name change, so please give me a smaller cup, while you're getting me a new drink. The super nice Spanish/Mexican(?) lady brought out an ice cream for Noel minutes later. That made me beam. Well. Until I pondered the last time I had that happen. I went into a store and left with a ridiculous amount of complementary gifts after making a small donation to poor mothers (it was just about Mother's Day). I felt super happy that day, until I learned that the culmination of the previous 8 months, including flying myself out to meet people, landed me a job offer earning about half my current salary in an unscrupulous pharma-related company. Happy was efficiently usurped by forlorn. So I braced for more bad and moved on….
Currently, the estate agent trying to rent my apartment can’t leave me be, neither can the Landlady. Neither has a f*cking clue, and they both have made such a rigmarole out of procuring door keys, due to several blunders drawn out over the past 5 days. They keep trying to evoke sympathy out of me by discussing how many children she has (5), as well as how many houses she owns. Great….so she’s rich and propagating all of her stupid genes? Keep talking that’s helping a lot. Estate Agent: “You would die if you saw where she [the Landlady] lives.” Get the f@ck out of my house. Please.
My lovely lady entangled putty in her hair and encrusted it on her pajamas, as well. The nightgown is in the trash along with a chunk of her hair. Unfortunately, the blanket and couch cushion with sticky hot pink goop aren’t quite as easily dealt with….
The bridge that never goes up for tall passing boats actually went up today, stopping traffic for a countless amount of time (lost track).
Wendy's changed how they identify their food. SO when I went to order my burger meal, I was asked a new question: medium size? Er...yeah, that sounds about right. Well, it turns out the current "medium" is the old "biggie". My sizes were all screwed up and I got an absurd amount of food. Then I found that they had given me a diet coke (a.) I don't imbibe or eat ANYTHING diet, and b.) I'd rather use coke to take the paint off my Landlady's BMW than put it in my stomach.) SO, right, I returned the drink and gently mentioned that I had been confused about the sizes due to the name change, so please give me a smaller cup, while you're getting me a new drink. The super nice Spanish/Mexican(?) lady brought out an ice cream for Noel minutes later. That made me beam. Well. Until I pondered the last time I had that happen. I went into a store and left with a ridiculous amount of complementary gifts after making a small donation to poor mothers (it was just about Mother's Day). I felt super happy that day, until I learned that the culmination of the previous 8 months, including flying myself out to meet people, landed me a job offer earning about half my current salary in an unscrupulous pharma-related company. Happy was efficiently usurped by forlorn. So I braced for more bad and moved on….
Currently, the estate agent trying to rent my apartment can’t leave me be, neither can the Landlady. Neither has a f*cking clue, and they both have made such a rigmarole out of procuring door keys, due to several blunders drawn out over the past 5 days. They keep trying to evoke sympathy out of me by discussing how many children she has (5), as well as how many houses she owns. Great….so she’s rich and propagating all of her stupid genes? Keep talking that’s helping a lot. Estate Agent: “You would die if you saw where she [the Landlady] lives.” Get the f@ck out of my house. Please.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Girlfriends
The sit-n-spin. A classic. Even better when you can pile on with your gilrfirend, too! (I want an adult size sit-n-spin....the mind boggles at the fun that could be had with that!!)
Friday, June 02, 2006
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Crumbs
Well, this blog has certainly been living up to its name. If you've been depending on this for reading, you might as well be licking rocks for sustenance. Sorry 'bout that, guys. ;)
Realistic expectations are important in life. But could you blame me for thinking that a STATE PARK might have:
-Access to nature without spending more than the gas it took to get there—certainly not a hefty additional $9. Oh, when forests were free....
-The ability to explore aforementioned nature without getting knocked down by rabid boys on scooters (More specifically, Noe bloodied her elbow, not 3 minutes out of the car. In a fucking large prairie-like field, do you think it’s possible to steer around a little 4-year-old girl? Not enough SPACE, you say? *fierce Mom-growl*)
-A reasonable amount of geese poop-free grass. (I shudder to think about the bottom of our shoes...)
-Hiking without f*cking pavement (What happened to that 3 mile hike, Ms. Entrance Fee Snatcher? Contrary to your ascertains, Ms. Park Ranger claims there is NO 3 mile hiking path. Bitch.)
-Bird chirping without the bass-pumping background of "Gasolina"
While I'm here, I'd like to note that the fun of being on a completely suck-ass, chain-smoking, half-drunken co-ed softball team, is that you are practically the hero when you score that one, critical, pride-saving hit (Note: the score was 15-1 last night, after 5 innings....the game was cut short since they were winning by so much.) :D
And lastly, it was a year ago that I met my first English blogger in person. I think I can safely say that it has been life-changing, and an amazing ride ever since. I wanna be in his arms again....now if blogger could just be updated with teletransporting capabilities, I'd be all set....
Realistic expectations are important in life. But could you blame me for thinking that a STATE PARK might have:
-Access to nature without spending more than the gas it took to get there—certainly not a hefty additional $9. Oh, when forests were free....
-The ability to explore aforementioned nature without getting knocked down by rabid boys on scooters (More specifically, Noe bloodied her elbow, not 3 minutes out of the car. In a fucking large prairie-like field, do you think it’s possible to steer around a little 4-year-old girl? Not enough SPACE, you say? *fierce Mom-growl*)
-A reasonable amount of geese poop-free grass. (I shudder to think about the bottom of our shoes...)
-Hiking without f*cking pavement (What happened to that 3 mile hike, Ms. Entrance Fee Snatcher? Contrary to your ascertains, Ms. Park Ranger claims there is NO 3 mile hiking path. Bitch.)
-Bird chirping without the bass-pumping background of "Gasolina"
While I'm here, I'd like to note that the fun of being on a completely suck-ass, chain-smoking, half-drunken co-ed softball team, is that you are practically the hero when you score that one, critical, pride-saving hit (Note: the score was 15-1 last night, after 5 innings....the game was cut short since they were winning by so much.) :D
And lastly, it was a year ago that I met my first English blogger in person. I think I can safely say that it has been life-changing, and an amazing ride ever since. I wanna be in his arms again....now if blogger could just be updated with teletransporting capabilities, I'd be all set....
Sunday, May 28, 2006
HUGE shoutout....
.....to the lovely blogger Rebekah (listed as "ultracool" over there on the side *wags head in that directon and winks*)
The lady just got hitched despite duress from other parts of her life.
She is an amazing lady; Erik is a lucky fellow.
Cheers to a long and happy one! *raises glass*
The lady just got hitched despite duress from other parts of her life.
She is an amazing lady; Erik is a lucky fellow.
Cheers to a long and happy one! *raises glass*
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
4-year-old-wisdom:Pets
about the fish....
"Devon takes a bath ALL day!"
about one of the animals we visited this weekend....
"Dogs LIKE to go up your dress!"
"Devon takes a bath ALL day!"
about one of the animals we visited this weekend....
"Dogs LIKE to go up your dress!"
Friday, April 14, 2006
Lexicon Laughs
My favorite new term: "recreational genomics". Apparently, new science companies have emerged—like DNAPrint—which will sequence your DNA to determine your ethnic ancestry for a "small" fee. The angle: the results could allow you to check minority boxes on financial aid forms for college, for example.
Of course, there are excellent reasons for undergoing genetic testing, as well...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night, Noel had me rolling with laughter.
She told me, "I'm SICK!!! There's a thorn in my tummy! Call the fire department!!"
Raucous laughter was probably NOT the proper "good" Mommy response, but I couldn't help myself. I dialed my brother the doctor, once my snorting subsided...
Of course, there are excellent reasons for undergoing genetic testing, as well...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night, Noel had me rolling with laughter.
She told me, "I'm SICK!!! There's a thorn in my tummy! Call the fire department!!"
Raucous laughter was probably NOT the proper "good" Mommy response, but I couldn't help myself. I dialed my brother the doctor, once my snorting subsided...
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Where I sit
There's gotta be some truth to this, 'cause I ended up in the same quarter as Gandhi and in the blue zone....
You are a Social Liberal (63% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (10% permissive) You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test |
Monday, April 03, 2006
Diggin' in Deep
Noel looked at her handiwork (a.k.a. poop) tonight and proclaimed, ‘Awww. It’s cute!”
Prodding me to reply: “Do ya wanna keep it?” (facetiously of course).
Disappointingly, she said, ‘Yes.”
I had to dig myself out of that hole quickly and thus replied, “Well poops are yucky and squishy.”
She countered with, “Silly putty is squishy.”
I closed my argument with, “Yes, but silly putty isn’t stinky.”
See what I get myself into?
;)
Prodding me to reply: “Do ya wanna keep it?” (facetiously of course).
Disappointingly, she said, ‘Yes.”
I had to dig myself out of that hole quickly and thus replied, “Well poops are yucky and squishy.”
She countered with, “Silly putty is squishy.”
I closed my argument with, “Yes, but silly putty isn’t stinky.”
See what I get myself into?
;)
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Rock me, Baby
Gently.
Gently, I said, you b@stards!
Damn, I was pounded last night. I'm still taking stock of the bruises.
That's what I get for desiring pictures of Rob Zombie and getting
close enough to take a decent one (that man is FIT, I tell you!). At
least you get the fruits of my labors without the suffocating smells,
sweat, and constant pressing and pushing....(was that an inappropriate
grope/pelvic thrust that I just felt, or just another person landing
on my backside?) There was so much of it all, I almost became
desensitized to it (well, except for the occasional odors that drifted
up from the bog.)
And there was....rum and coke without the coke; looking after the
little girls; little-girl moshing advice: "Just push back...er...that
one was my boyfriend."; the hippy fight erupting 2 feet away (do
hippies punch like that?); show-her-tits girl; help from random men;
smashed glasses on the floor; a drink down my pants; booby picture
shows; guitarist from Motley Crue; House of 1000 Corpses clown;
guitarist suggestively-squirted-water on my face; and GOOD music...old
school White ZOmbie and Rob ZOmbie: More Human Than Human, Living Dead
Girl, Never Gonna Stop, Spookshow Baby; then new stuff (from Educated
Horses): Foxy Foxy, Lord's of Salem.
Gently, I said, you b@stards!
Damn, I was pounded last night. I'm still taking stock of the bruises.
That's what I get for desiring pictures of Rob Zombie and getting
close enough to take a decent one (that man is FIT, I tell you!). At
least you get the fruits of my labors without the suffocating smells,
sweat, and constant pressing and pushing....(was that an inappropriate
grope/pelvic thrust that I just felt, or just another person landing
on my backside?) There was so much of it all, I almost became
desensitized to it (well, except for the occasional odors that drifted
up from the bog.)
And there was....rum and coke without the coke; looking after the
little girls; little-girl moshing advice: "Just push back...er...that
one was my boyfriend."; the hippy fight erupting 2 feet away (do
hippies punch like that?); show-her-tits girl; help from random men;
smashed glasses on the floor; a drink down my pants; booby picture
shows; guitarist from Motley Crue; House of 1000 Corpses clown;
guitarist suggestively-squirted-water on my face; and GOOD music...old
school White ZOmbie and Rob ZOmbie: More Human Than Human, Living Dead
Girl, Never Gonna Stop, Spookshow Baby; then new stuff (from Educated
Horses): Foxy Foxy, Lord's of Salem.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Monday, March 06, 2006
Russian Mardi Gras
...is the pre-Lenten celebration that apparently lasts a full week (those party animals...our stamina is only a day *wink*)
Anyways, this weekend we partook in some of the celebration, by consuming Russian pancakes filled with sour cream and caviar. I confirmed that my little girl is an eccentric, at the ripe old age of 4: she wouldn't have any of the pancakes, but took many helpings of caviar. For me, the pancakes were the only way to consume those popping, salty sacs....it was much safer when they were hidden by pancake.
On a completely different note, my lady has learned how to fix my (running) toilet. :D
Anyways, this weekend we partook in some of the celebration, by consuming Russian pancakes filled with sour cream and caviar. I confirmed that my little girl is an eccentric, at the ripe old age of 4: she wouldn't have any of the pancakes, but took many helpings of caviar. For me, the pancakes were the only way to consume those popping, salty sacs....it was much safer when they were hidden by pancake.
On a completely different note, my lady has learned how to fix my (running) toilet. :D
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Adventures in Bumblefuck-Land
The sum of this past weekend was consumed with a trip west to upstate NY.
I had the extreme fortune early on in the trip of rendezvousing at a lovely little Thai restaurant with a friend that I rarely see. SO rarely, that I was even more horrified and embarrassed than usual when Noel:
a.) farted during dinner b.) discussed kissing the friend c.) declared, "Just let me LOOK at it!" referring to a freckle on my arm that she has a fascination with.
Hopefully, most of these things went under the radar. ;)
Later on, in that same leg of the journey, I found myself saying to a nice older lady, "Well, it's OK, I can just call my parents to help me out." What am I? Age 15?
One lovely discovery made while home, must be credited to my Mom. Thanks to her "browse this magazine" suggestion I was able to find this very sacrilegious food item. Take note: ingesting the lamb of god is calorie-free!
And then the picture here was taken during the return trip. I used to watch that show religiously (well, at least as regular as I can be about TV programming).
I had the extreme fortune early on in the trip of rendezvousing at a lovely little Thai restaurant with a friend that I rarely see. SO rarely, that I was even more horrified and embarrassed than usual when Noel:
a.) farted during dinner b.) discussed kissing the friend c.) declared, "Just let me LOOK at it!" referring to a freckle on my arm that she has a fascination with.
Hopefully, most of these things went under the radar. ;)
Later on, in that same leg of the journey, I found myself saying to a nice older lady, "Well, it's OK, I can just call my parents to help me out." What am I? Age 15?
One lovely discovery made while home, must be credited to my Mom. Thanks to her "browse this magazine" suggestion I was able to find this very sacrilegious food item. Take note: ingesting the lamb of god is calorie-free!
And then the picture here was taken during the return trip. I used to watch that show religiously (well, at least as regular as I can be about TV programming).
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
What's Cookin' Honey?
"I need something CHEESY"
- Wallace and Gromit
Cheesy Tuna Shell Casserole
1 tbsp margarine
1 medium onion
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 1/4 cups milk
1 tsp worcestershire sauce
1/2 tsp prepared mustard
1/4 tsp pepper
2 cups (8 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese
1 can (6 ounces) tuna (drained)
1 cup frozen peas
8 ounces shell pasta
1/2 cup crushed potato chips
1.) Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Cook the shell pasta in boiling water (about 11 minutes) and drain.
2.) While the pasta is cooking (pronounced "pes-ta" if you're British *wink*) chop the onion.
3.) Melt the margarine over high heat in a 2-quart sauce pan and then add the chopped onions (saute 3 minutes).
4.) Stir in the soup, milk, worcestershire sauce, mustard, and pepper. Stir frequently and bring to a boil.
5.) Remove from the heat and stir in the cheese until smooth.
6.) Add the tuna (separating it into flakes with a fork) and the peas.
7.) Combine the tuna mixture and the cooked shells in a 2 quart casserole dish.
8.) Crush the potato chips and sprinkle them over the top.
9.) Bake at 350 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes (until heated throughout.)
4-year-old Review:
Picked off potato chips for consumption after eating several shells. Then picked through mixture for the peas.
Two Hours Later: "My teeth are very stinky. I must go change them."
Thirty-two year old review: Nice flavor and texture. I'll deal with the stinky teeth just to get this in my belly...
("I'm just CRACKERS about cheese!" - W &G)
- Wallace and Gromit
Cheesy Tuna Shell Casserole
1 tbsp margarine
1 medium onion
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 1/4 cups milk
1 tsp worcestershire sauce
1/2 tsp prepared mustard
1/4 tsp pepper
2 cups (8 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese
1 can (6 ounces) tuna (drained)
1 cup frozen peas
8 ounces shell pasta
1/2 cup crushed potato chips
1.) Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Cook the shell pasta in boiling water (about 11 minutes) and drain.
2.) While the pasta is cooking (pronounced "pes-ta" if you're British *wink*) chop the onion.
3.) Melt the margarine over high heat in a 2-quart sauce pan and then add the chopped onions (saute 3 minutes).
4.) Stir in the soup, milk, worcestershire sauce, mustard, and pepper. Stir frequently and bring to a boil.
5.) Remove from the heat and stir in the cheese until smooth.
6.) Add the tuna (separating it into flakes with a fork) and the peas.
7.) Combine the tuna mixture and the cooked shells in a 2 quart casserole dish.
8.) Crush the potato chips and sprinkle them over the top.
9.) Bake at 350 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes (until heated throughout.)
4-year-old Review:
Picked off potato chips for consumption after eating several shells. Then picked through mixture for the peas.
Two Hours Later: "My teeth are very stinky. I must go change them."
Thirty-two year old review: Nice flavor and texture. I'll deal with the stinky teeth just to get this in my belly...
("I'm just CRACKERS about cheese!" - W &G)
Monday, February 13, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Stuck
The gracious upstairs neighbors asked us up to partake in the great American tradition of consuming large amounts of food and beer (probably Budweiser) whilest watching the Superbowl and hoping for some obnoxious "scandal" such as a nipple siting. SO we did it.
Before going, I told myself that I was not allowed to get drunk, as that would greatly increase the liklihood of disclosing the amount of sex that I've heard them have.
It was good that this was established from the start, because the conversation turned that way, without any prompting.
S:"So. I can sometimes hear your conversations through the airvents."
BBFK:"Oh, sorry."
S:"No problem, I just turn up the music or something. It just makes me wonder if you can hear us through the vents, too."
BBFK:"Umm...nope, I've never heard any of your conversations...."
S:"It's not conversations that I'm worried about. Especially since you have a little girl."
BBFK: *silence* *slurps drink* "Right. SO It looks like the refs have been paid off by some Steelers supporters..."
Later on in the evening.....
BBFK:"It's neat that you guys are involved in Renaissance festivals."
S:"Well, it's more than that. It's more role playing in costume. I've been this elf-character for 18 years now."
*Noel runs into the back room*
S: *nervous glance at boyfriend* "Honey, are all the toys in the bedroom put away?"
BBFK: *tries not to juxtapose the last 2 bits of conversation along with the routine pounding/escalating sreaming sounds that often filter down from the vents*
Even later, that same night....
S's boyfriend: *comes back from the back rooms that BBFK has been avoiding" "Noel just said she needed to make a poop."
BBFK:*rushes to feet* "OK..." *runs to bathroom in the back and finds Noel already in process* "Oh, Noel we could have just gone downstairs...." *Noel finishes business and leaves BBFK to flush*
*flushes toilet*
*small movement*
*flushes again*
*water rises*
*panic starts*
*waits*
*waits*
*water lowers some*
*flushes again*
*water rises*
*skin gets red and spotty with panic*
*waits*
*waits*
*no movement*
*wishes for some heavy alcohol*
*walks out to report the stuck toilet*
*walks back to bathroom with neighbor*
*neighbor ineffectively plunges for 10 minutes while I look on profusely apologizing and trading bad bathroom stories*
*neighbor's boyfriend checks in and unclogs toilet with a flick of the wrist and a single plunge*
*BBFK finishes beer and goes home with toilet-clogging 4 year old*
Before going, I told myself that I was not allowed to get drunk, as that would greatly increase the liklihood of disclosing the amount of sex that I've heard them have.
It was good that this was established from the start, because the conversation turned that way, without any prompting.
S:"So. I can sometimes hear your conversations through the airvents."
BBFK:"Oh, sorry."
S:"No problem, I just turn up the music or something. It just makes me wonder if you can hear us through the vents, too."
BBFK:"Umm...nope, I've never heard any of your conversations...."
S:"It's not conversations that I'm worried about. Especially since you have a little girl."
BBFK: *silence* *slurps drink* "Right. SO It looks like the refs have been paid off by some Steelers supporters..."
Later on in the evening.....
BBFK:"It's neat that you guys are involved in Renaissance festivals."
S:"Well, it's more than that. It's more role playing in costume. I've been this elf-character for 18 years now."
*Noel runs into the back room*
S: *nervous glance at boyfriend* "Honey, are all the toys in the bedroom put away?"
BBFK: *tries not to juxtapose the last 2 bits of conversation along with the routine pounding/escalating sreaming sounds that often filter down from the vents*
Even later, that same night....
S's boyfriend: *comes back from the back rooms that BBFK has been avoiding" "Noel just said she needed to make a poop."
BBFK:*rushes to feet* "OK..." *runs to bathroom in the back and finds Noel already in process* "Oh, Noel we could have just gone downstairs...." *Noel finishes business and leaves BBFK to flush*
*flushes toilet*
*small movement*
*flushes again*
*water rises*
*panic starts*
*waits*
*waits*
*water lowers some*
*flushes again*
*water rises*
*skin gets red and spotty with panic*
*waits*
*waits*
*no movement*
*wishes for some heavy alcohol*
*walks out to report the stuck toilet*
*walks back to bathroom with neighbor*
*neighbor ineffectively plunges for 10 minutes while I look on profusely apologizing and trading bad bathroom stories*
*neighbor's boyfriend checks in and unclogs toilet with a flick of the wrist and a single plunge*
*BBFK finishes beer and goes home with toilet-clogging 4 year old*
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
The last bit of the Top 10 Things I meant to Blog about during the Holidays
5.) The rift in language between American and British English is deeper than I had suspected. I think the British make their language cuter. They have a proclivity to add "ie" or "y" to the ends of words (such as Curly Wurly) and add extra vowels (famously, "u"). Oh, and their tendency to give suspicious names to yummy foods hasn't gone unnoticed either...such as "clotted cream", "spotted dick", and "bangers and mash". Of course, they also hide terrible foods behind seemingly innocuous names: white pudding, for instance. Then there's the confusion associated with words such as "pudding" and "tea". To an American, these both specify a single food or drink item, while to an Englishman pudding could mean dessert or various different foods ranging from blood and fat sausage to a bready accompaniment to roast beef, and tea could indicate a meal, a drink, or a fancy between-meal snack.
4.)Written during one of the flights to Rochester, NY from London...
It took the bankrupting of an airlines for me to realize the drama of the past day. As I sat listening to the most heartfelt Safety Speech I’d ever heard accompanied by a large dose of meaningful looks, I started to sum up what I’d seen, heard, and experienced. Our hostess named December took pictures of her friends while we were boarding and explained that they had been informed on Tuesday of the demise of Independence Airline. She was not the only one I observed making tearful last goodbyes, expounding on future plans, and expressing surprise and sadness at the situation. It felt odd observing the life-changing events whilest harboring my personal desires to be wisked home to my daughter. Certainly, missing her was one of the 2 reasons for my own drama. The other was for wont of my sweetheart. Leaving him caused me to cry in 2 countries, and in 2 states resulting in a pounding headache. I dehydrated myself and resultingly, drank a liter of water between flights.
3.) Inspired by a recent viewing of Dreamer-the 2005 movie with Dakota Fanning, Noel rode on Hocus Pocus the horse all by herself while visiting our family in Virginia. Before boarding she said, "I want to race!"; once in the saddle, she told Hocus Pocus, "Go slowly." That's my girl.
2.) I received both a radar/laser detector and a speeding ticket (in that order) over the holiday. I figured my brother who got me the detector was taking the piss out of me (I hadn't asked for one), but then again just maybe I deserved it.
1.) My trip to England made patently clear that I miss Noel when she's not around. I was heartbroken by the end of the trip and vowed that she needed to go with me in the future to experience wading in the sea with tall, rubber boots, the super cool Natural History museum with a movement sensing, life-sized T. Rex, the Castles (she's into queens and kings), and hikes in the forest.
Anyways, cheers to Virginia and England...both lovely destinations for the holidays....
4.)Written during one of the flights to Rochester, NY from London...
It took the bankrupting of an airlines for me to realize the drama of the past day. As I sat listening to the most heartfelt Safety Speech I’d ever heard accompanied by a large dose of meaningful looks, I started to sum up what I’d seen, heard, and experienced. Our hostess named December took pictures of her friends while we were boarding and explained that they had been informed on Tuesday of the demise of Independence Airline. She was not the only one I observed making tearful last goodbyes, expounding on future plans, and expressing surprise and sadness at the situation. It felt odd observing the life-changing events whilest harboring my personal desires to be wisked home to my daughter. Certainly, missing her was one of the 2 reasons for my own drama. The other was for wont of my sweetheart. Leaving him caused me to cry in 2 countries, and in 2 states resulting in a pounding headache. I dehydrated myself and resultingly, drank a liter of water between flights.
3.) Inspired by a recent viewing of Dreamer-the 2005 movie with Dakota Fanning, Noel rode on Hocus Pocus the horse all by herself while visiting our family in Virginia. Before boarding she said, "I want to race!"; once in the saddle, she told Hocus Pocus, "Go slowly." That's my girl.
2.) I received both a radar/laser detector and a speeding ticket (in that order) over the holiday. I figured my brother who got me the detector was taking the piss out of me (I hadn't asked for one), but then again just maybe I deserved it.
1.) My trip to England made patently clear that I miss Noel when she's not around. I was heartbroken by the end of the trip and vowed that she needed to go with me in the future to experience wading in the sea with tall, rubber boots, the super cool Natural History museum with a movement sensing, life-sized T. Rex, the Castles (she's into queens and kings), and hikes in the forest.
Anyways, cheers to Virginia and England...both lovely destinations for the holidays....
Ket-chup
You gotta wonder what your day has in store for you when you slip on a rotting banana peel on the way in from the parking garage. A Three Stooges kinda day seems relatively harmless and certainly amusing....hmmmm...
In the mean time, I am fantasticly behind on my blogging. It only took 5 days of telling myself, "I'm gonna blog TODAY" to actually sit down and do it. I've got the usual excuses...traveling, a blur of holiday-related events, oh and just being in more of a "reading"-mood than "writing"-mood. I just finished a Confederacy of Dunces actually. It turned out to be an excellent book for a laugh and anyone who wants to slag-off their job.
Anyways, here's the top 10 things that I meant to blog about during my recent hiatus away from this forum....
10.) Happy New Year's to my lovely blogland friends!!!
9.) Noel saved a bird. Well, at least the clever girl heard a bird flapping around our front hallway and alerted me...then we let him out. This is the fourth time this has happened in a year period. I need to investigate how they get in...(my guess is the vent to my bathroom...but how that connects to the front hallway is another matter...)
8.) There's been some solid movies available lately...my favs: The 40 year Old Virgin; Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; The Constant Gardner.
7.) Noel has gotten successful enough at eating with chopsticks that she wouldn't starve. I figure that's a good marker.
6.) I managed to regain my ability to eat at a human pace during my trip to England and have maintained it since then. Woohoo!
OK. AND I will stop there, lest I never push the "Publish Post" button. ;)
In the mean time, I am fantasticly behind on my blogging. It only took 5 days of telling myself, "I'm gonna blog TODAY" to actually sit down and do it. I've got the usual excuses...traveling, a blur of holiday-related events, oh and just being in more of a "reading"-mood than "writing"-mood. I just finished a Confederacy of Dunces actually. It turned out to be an excellent book for a laugh and anyone who wants to slag-off their job.
Anyways, here's the top 10 things that I meant to blog about during my recent hiatus away from this forum....
10.) Happy New Year's to my lovely blogland friends!!!
9.) Noel saved a bird. Well, at least the clever girl heard a bird flapping around our front hallway and alerted me...then we let him out. This is the fourth time this has happened in a year period. I need to investigate how they get in...(my guess is the vent to my bathroom...but how that connects to the front hallway is another matter...)
8.) There's been some solid movies available lately...my favs: The 40 year Old Virgin; Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; The Constant Gardner.
7.) Noel has gotten successful enough at eating with chopsticks that she wouldn't starve. I figure that's a good marker.
6.) I managed to regain my ability to eat at a human pace during my trip to England and have maintained it since then. Woohoo!
OK. AND I will stop there, lest I never push the "Publish Post" button. ;)
Monday, December 12, 2005
The Doctor is IN.
Here is the scene:
Playdate number 4: Noel's pad.
After wreaking havoc by extracting every toy in the house from its
original location or container, Big Boy Bryant and Noel engage in a
round of Doctor/Patient, where Noel plays the sick one.
Let me stress: This was a well-supervised activity.
And now it's time for the "I rock"-dance 'cause, directly after all
that play, I successfully fed BBB pasta followed by freshly baked
scones. AND HE ASKED FOR MORE. That was my proudest moment of the
first half of December.
Playdate number 4: Noel's pad.
After wreaking havoc by extracting every toy in the house from its
original location or container, Big Boy Bryant and Noel engage in a
round of Doctor/Patient, where Noel plays the sick one.
Let me stress: This was a well-supervised activity.
And now it's time for the "I rock"-dance 'cause, directly after all
that play, I successfully fed BBB pasta followed by freshly baked
scones. AND HE ASKED FOR MORE. That was my proudest moment of the
first half of December.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Holiday Happy
There were two things that were very pleasing tonight.
First, I managed to purchase a St. Nicholas present for Noel, right
under her nose. The pharmacist was even in on it, and hid the present
from view. I love collaborative efforts to surprise people,
especially when it involves the help of random, nice people.
Second, during our dinner out, the Christmas tunes revolved to the
song "Noel, Noel". You should have seen my girl's (Noel's) face! She
had an adorable, almost 4-year-old expression that was a mixture of
shyness and extreme happiness. Her grin was blazing...
*satisfied sigh*
oooo, these things make me happy...
First, I managed to purchase a St. Nicholas present for Noel, right
under her nose. The pharmacist was even in on it, and hid the present
from view. I love collaborative efforts to surprise people,
especially when it involves the help of random, nice people.
Second, during our dinner out, the Christmas tunes revolved to the
song "Noel, Noel". You should have seen my girl's (Noel's) face! She
had an adorable, almost 4-year-old expression that was a mixture of
shyness and extreme happiness. Her grin was blazing...
*satisfied sigh*
oooo, these things make me happy...
Monday, November 28, 2005
1000-mile crankiness
I arrived home last night at 6pm to find competition for parking in my own driveway. I might have been more cordial about the situation, had I not been driving since 8:30am. It was probably the attitude induced by the 1000 mile roundtrip journey that spurred me to have the following conversation....
"Oh, hi. You're S's Mom, aye? Nice to meet you. Don't worry about parking in my spot. Actually, this is a very fortuitous meeting, as I was getting progressively worried about S and have been hoping to speak to someone close to her. I have heard escalating screams and pounding noises at early-morning and late-night hours, and was concerned about her welfare. Has she been OK?" *dumb-blonde BLINK BLINK*
*devious grin to self*
"Oh, hi. You're S's Mom, aye? Nice to meet you. Don't worry about parking in my spot. Actually, this is a very fortuitous meeting, as I was getting progressively worried about S and have been hoping to speak to someone close to her. I have heard escalating screams and pounding noises at early-morning and late-night hours, and was concerned about her welfare. Has she been OK?" *dumb-blonde BLINK BLINK*
*devious grin to self*
Sunday, November 20, 2005
New-fangled Pet
Statements uttered by Noel that led up to the
"appropriate-fun-with-the-fish" talk:
#1. "I'll sleep with my fishy ALL night!"
#2. "I can tickle my fishy."
#3. "I want to take my fishy for a walk."
#4. And some garbled speech (she was going on and on while seating in
the back of the car, as I was driving) combined with talk of a "fishy
bandage."
Note: The fish has successfully lived in our possession for a full 10 days now.
"appropriate-fun-with-the-fish" talk:
#1. "I'll sleep with my fishy ALL night!"
#2. "I can tickle my fishy."
#3. "I want to take my fishy for a walk."
#4. And some garbled speech (she was going on and on while seating in
the back of the car, as I was driving) combined with talk of a "fishy
bandage."
Note: The fish has successfully lived in our possession for a full 10 days now.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Wind me Up
The little lady has found a new tactic to TRY to wind me up. (I say TRY because it was early in the morning and I have to muster the small rements of energy available and focus in order to break for a red light, much less respond to a comment. *wink*)
Yeah.
SO.
We're driving along when the little lady says, "Carby is a slow car."
[Note: "Carby" is my Honda Civic.]
Followed by, "Make him go faster."
*sigh*
A.) Telling a speed queen that her car is slow can be a terrible blow. I like to pretend.
B.) There are limitations. By limitations, I mean traffic. By traffic, I mean that I live in the goddamn, overcrowded, too-densely-populated NorthEast, where assholes drive their Eddie Bauer, BMW, SUV-monstrosities and run over babies on the sidewalk.
Looks like she's taking after me...well, this time. She also hates amusement park rides and swing sets. *shakes head* I don't get that.
Yeah.
SO.
We're driving along when the little lady says, "Carby is a slow car."
[Note: "Carby" is my Honda Civic.]
Followed by, "Make him go faster."
*sigh*
A.) Telling a speed queen that her car is slow can be a terrible blow. I like to pretend.
B.) There are limitations. By limitations, I mean traffic. By traffic, I mean that I live in the goddamn, overcrowded, too-densely-populated NorthEast, where assholes drive their Eddie Bauer, BMW, SUV-monstrosities and run over babies on the sidewalk.
Looks like she's taking after me...well, this time. She also hates amusement park rides and swing sets. *shakes head* I don't get that.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Cheese up, meatballs down
Noel and Big Boy Bryant have been scheming for ages, planting ideas in
each of the respective Mom's minds that the other expects a visit to
happen (fortunately the babyschool teachers are informants to this
trickery). Anyways, a visit to Noel's house did happen one evening.
Now, I *know* that the lovely Noel quite fancies BBB, but as a sage
friend of mine once uttered: boys with exotic eating habits are
difficult to feed and hence, keep. And BBB is certainly picky as HELL.
Show me a kid who doesn't like pizza, huh? Well, this young
gentleman, even having had the privilege of being the toppings-picker,
STILL managed to consume only a single bite. (He specifically directed
that his pizza should have the cheese on top, with meatballs
underneath.) And TRUST me there's almost nothing that makes me feel
like more of an ass than sending a child back to their parents hungry.
[P.S. I deserve an extra gold star for this post...I mean *you* try
and compose sentences over the sounds of multiple, pounding,
his-and-her orgasms and see how far you get...
P.S.S. I deserve a bit of coddling tonight, so I appreciate any love
you have to give. BOTH people that I spoke with this evening fell
asleep while we were talking. That's right. Two for two. SNORING,
loudly. *sigh*]
each of the respective Mom's minds that the other expects a visit to
happen (fortunately the babyschool teachers are informants to this
trickery). Anyways, a visit to Noel's house did happen one evening.
Now, I *know* that the lovely Noel quite fancies BBB, but as a sage
friend of mine once uttered: boys with exotic eating habits are
difficult to feed and hence, keep. And BBB is certainly picky as HELL.
Show me a kid who doesn't like pizza, huh? Well, this young
gentleman, even having had the privilege of being the toppings-picker,
STILL managed to consume only a single bite. (He specifically directed
that his pizza should have the cheese on top, with meatballs
underneath.) And TRUST me there's almost nothing that makes me feel
like more of an ass than sending a child back to their parents hungry.
[P.S. I deserve an extra gold star for this post...I mean *you* try
and compose sentences over the sounds of multiple, pounding,
his-and-her orgasms and see how far you get...
P.S.S. I deserve a bit of coddling tonight, so I appreciate any love
you have to give. BOTH people that I spoke with this evening fell
asleep while we were talking. That's right. Two for two. SNORING,
loudly. *sigh*]
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
My (clean) Sister Riding the Mattress
OK, OK.This actually happened over a week and a half ago. But I'm
still sent into fits of laughter when I view this photo. I had to
share.
In unrelated, more recent news, my upstairs neighbor moved her
boyfriend in this weekend. I've already been treated to bouts of the
most musical, piercing orgasmic-screams that I've ever heard. At 2:00
in the morning.
I feel strange when I run into my neighbors. I hardly know anything
about them, although we've lived in the same house for over a year. I
do know what their sex sounds like, though. Hardly a good
conversation piece.
still sent into fits of laughter when I view this photo. I had to
share.
In unrelated, more recent news, my upstairs neighbor moved her
boyfriend in this weekend. I've already been treated to bouts of the
most musical, piercing orgasmic-screams that I've ever heard. At 2:00
in the morning.
I feel strange when I run into my neighbors. I hardly know anything
about them, although we've lived in the same house for over a year. I
do know what their sex sounds like, though. Hardly a good
conversation piece.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
My names based on transcripts
First: Backi
Last: Boston, Rockland, Bockman, Batmon, Bucklin
I must have garbled speech...maybe I should take a few of the marbles out of my mouth. ;)
[Note: None of these are my actual name.]
Last: Boston, Rockland, Bockman, Batmon, Bucklin
I must have garbled speech...maybe I should take a few of the marbles out of my mouth. ;)
[Note: None of these are my actual name.]
Monday, October 31, 2005
Friday, October 28, 2005
October CHECKlist
-buy stash of variety of Halloween chocolate (all chocolate-based, of course)
CHECK
-don bat ring
CHECK
-hang ghost and Frankenstein lights
CHECK
-buy daughter costume that will inspire extra generosity during trick-or-treating
CHECK
-light Halloween candles
CHECK
-rent slasher movie
CHECK
-buy skeleton cookie cake with gummy brains for Halloween party
CHECK
-have strong, hunky man to retrieve laundry from dungeon-style basement and consume enough candy to rescue me from gaining 5 pounds
*sigh*
CHECK
-don bat ring
CHECK
-hang ghost and Frankenstein lights
CHECK
-buy daughter costume that will inspire extra generosity during trick-or-treating
CHECK
-light Halloween candles
CHECK
-rent slasher movie
CHECK
-buy skeleton cookie cake with gummy brains for Halloween party
CHECK
-have strong, hunky man to retrieve laundry from dungeon-style basement and consume enough candy to rescue me from gaining 5 pounds
*sigh*
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Treatment: Good
...a lovely, tiny Indian lady made a right hand turn in front of me, as I was about to step into the intersection's crosswalk. She blew me a kiss, but I'd already forgiven her.
...a friendly store owner of a Halloween-themed shop let me enter his store at 10 minutes until closing. I quickly found the dress that I had been searching for (online, and in many stores), and was overjoyed about the way it fit—until I looked at the price. I sheepishly mentioned that I found the price to be high and the store owner offered me a 10% discount. I said, "Really?!?", all wide-eyed, and he said, "Yeah. Why not?!"
...a friendly store owner of a Halloween-themed shop let me enter his store at 10 minutes until closing. I quickly found the dress that I had been searching for (online, and in many stores), and was overjoyed about the way it fit—until I looked at the price. I sheepishly mentioned that I found the price to be high and the store owner offered me a 10% discount. I said, "Really?!?", all wide-eyed, and he said, "Yeah. Why not?!"
Monday, October 17, 2005
Leftover strippers (do we get a doggy bag for that?)
*Memorable statements made just yesterday...*
It's tastes better through the little hole in the top.
-Lever
It's OK, I put my tongue on it.
-BBFK
It's not poop. (The words uttered moments before the accompanying
photograph was taken...)
-NoE
It's tastes better through the little hole in the top.
-Lever
It's OK, I put my tongue on it.
-BBFK
It's not poop. (The words uttered moments before the accompanying
photograph was taken...)
-NoE
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
ABsurdity
*huge sheepish grin*
Man, I've missed you guys. No, I wasn't being held down by an enormous boulder (the sort of object that you would expect would be needed to keep me away from y'all), rather, there's just been too much a-happenin. Weddings of close friends, best friends having a stay-over, excursions to other countries (yes, Canada counts-even if you live in New England *wink*)...lots of stuff, all of which I had the good intention of reporting on.
In the meantime, I let slip by October 6th—the anniversary of when I started blogging. And blogging has brought me all sorts of happiness in ways that I never would have dreamed, so I had the good intention of celebrating. *sigh* Six days later,and now it's my birthday, so I've finally decided to push the pile of work papers away from my elbows and blog. And now, I'm feeling the urge to gush a little bit. For example, I need to give a huge shout out to Jay for having connected me. Jay is the first person to comment on my blog, and surprisingly enough, even come back for more. *wink* Without her, I likely would have let the whole thing be a quick phase. Instead, with little nuggets of encouragement, I kept on and met some incredibly funny, witty, sweet, clever, shocking, deep, priceless, wonderful, charming, and keen people. And then of course, there's the boy. *laughing...* You guys and gals have provided entertainment in a place where I expected none, friendship greater than I could have imagined, and adventures worth documenting. All from the internet....how wacky.
K. I'll try to stop my girly-rant and get back to biting commentary. In the meantime, I'll point you to a good, albeit completely unrelated story that caught my fancy today...
Man, I've missed you guys. No, I wasn't being held down by an enormous boulder (the sort of object that you would expect would be needed to keep me away from y'all), rather, there's just been too much a-happenin. Weddings of close friends, best friends having a stay-over, excursions to other countries (yes, Canada counts-even if you live in New England *wink*)...lots of stuff, all of which I had the good intention of reporting on.
In the meantime, I let slip by October 6th—the anniversary of when I started blogging. And blogging has brought me all sorts of happiness in ways that I never would have dreamed, so I had the good intention of celebrating. *sigh* Six days later,and now it's my birthday, so I've finally decided to push the pile of work papers away from my elbows and blog. And now, I'm feeling the urge to gush a little bit. For example, I need to give a huge shout out to Jay for having connected me. Jay is the first person to comment on my blog, and surprisingly enough, even come back for more. *wink* Without her, I likely would have let the whole thing be a quick phase. Instead, with little nuggets of encouragement, I kept on and met some incredibly funny, witty, sweet, clever, shocking, deep, priceless, wonderful, charming, and keen people. And then of course, there's the boy. *laughing...* You guys and gals have provided entertainment in a place where I expected none, friendship greater than I could have imagined, and adventures worth documenting. All from the internet....how wacky.
K. I'll try to stop my girly-rant and get back to biting commentary. In the meantime, I'll point you to a good, albeit completely unrelated story that caught my fancy today...
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Bumblefucking about
So, I thought I should update you guys on the cheating boy situation from this post. Quite soon after the slip of my tongue revealed the philandering nature of her boyfriend, J asked me to keep an eye out on the boy (not a hard task, considering a glance out of my window would do the trick.) The philandering boyfriend (PBF, from here out) was up to his tricks straight away. Although I was gone to NYC most of the weekend, I managed to pull into my driveway at a late night hour that directly coincided with PBF arriving home, driving the other girl's (OG) car. Now because my lovely friend J was pondering marrying PBF after their 7-year-relationship, I decided that I would humor her request for a report-she should at least be fully informed about what she was signing onto. As J and I were talking, PBF and OG got back into his car and drove off. J knew where they were going and decided to seize the opportunity to make the 2 extremely uncomfortable....she drove by them in the opposite direction, and waved and honked in a nice, friendly way while flipping her long, blonde locks.
In the end J and PBF ended their relationship and lovely J began the mourning process (She proceeded to lose 7 pounds in the next week, stopped sleeping, engaged in overthinking everything...ya know the routine.) *sigh* Poor girl. Cheating is just one of those things that I fucking hate.
In the end J and PBF ended their relationship and lovely J began the mourning process (She proceeded to lose 7 pounds in the next week, stopped sleeping, engaged in overthinking everything...ya know the routine.) *sigh* Poor girl. Cheating is just one of those things that I fucking hate.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Blam...er....Thank Rebekah for This one….*wink*
Seven Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1.) travel, travel, travel (Turkey, Alaska, Australia, Hawaii, Colorado, a tropical forest, etc.…….)
2.) crochet something for good (i.e. some sexy top/skirt with the holes in all the right places…..reference: Heather Graham’s hot dress in Austin Powers) [Note: crochet for evil involves potholders and Kleenex-box covers, mainly]
3.) see Noel grow up, not turn out weird, and still want to hang-out with me
4.) have a job where I am respected and earn enough money (see #1)
5.) make a noticeable difference in a worthy organization. I’m thinking non-for-profit, maybe medically-related…
6.) live in a beautiful reclusive place in the wilderness and write
7.) marry my best friend
Things I Can Do
1.) run a radio show-including programming and dialogue
2.) run a polyacrylamide gel
3.) write a medical manuscript and have it published
4.) tie a knot with a cherry stem….no hands, just tongue
5.) make a wedding veil
6.) play the clarinet
7.) throw a baseball like a boy (I’ve been hit on for my softball skillz. *wink*)
Things I Cannot Do
1.) go a week without bruising myself
2.) whistle
3.) show up on time
4.) stop myself from laughing inappropriately, or control the volume of my voice/laughter
5.) call people when I should
6.) play happy, when I’m really not
7.) fake an orgasm
Seven Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex
1.) Will dance with me (oh right, that was out by the 2nd guy I dated *wink*) Nerdiness/Cleverness
2.) Kindness (especially to animals, small children, and ugly people)
3.) Similar humor appreciation
4.) Being tall and fit, and having nice hands
5.) Being into words
6.) Being into music (‘specially the stuff I like *wink*)
7.) Being able to fix things…e.g. computers, bikes, me
Seven Things I Say Most Often
1.) Wha?
2.) TAKE THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.
3.) I like it, a LOT.
4.) yuP.
5.) Solid.
6.) FUCK.
7.) Daft prick! (Well not really, but I’ve been meaning to integrate that into my speech for ages, now. *wink*)
Celebrity Crushes (although I’d pick some solid, regular time alone with Lever, over any of these boys/girl)
1.) tobey mcguire
2.) bill murray
3.) ralph fiennes
4.) giovanni ribisi
5.) minnie driver
6.) cilian murphy
7.) john malkovich
1.) travel, travel, travel (Turkey, Alaska, Australia, Hawaii, Colorado, a tropical forest, etc.…….)
2.) crochet something for good (i.e. some sexy top/skirt with the holes in all the right places…..reference: Heather Graham’s hot dress in Austin Powers) [Note: crochet for evil involves potholders and Kleenex-box covers, mainly]
3.) see Noel grow up, not turn out weird, and still want to hang-out with me
4.) have a job where I am respected and earn enough money (see #1)
5.) make a noticeable difference in a worthy organization. I’m thinking non-for-profit, maybe medically-related…
6.) live in a beautiful reclusive place in the wilderness and write
7.) marry my best friend
Things I Can Do
1.) run a radio show-including programming and dialogue
2.) run a polyacrylamide gel
3.) write a medical manuscript and have it published
4.) tie a knot with a cherry stem….no hands, just tongue
5.) make a wedding veil
6.) play the clarinet
7.) throw a baseball like a boy (I’ve been hit on for my softball skillz. *wink*)
Things I Cannot Do
1.) go a week without bruising myself
2.) whistle
3.) show up on time
4.) stop myself from laughing inappropriately, or control the volume of my voice/laughter
5.) call people when I should
6.) play happy, when I’m really not
7.) fake an orgasm
Seven Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex
1.) Will dance with me (oh right, that was out by the 2nd guy I dated *wink*) Nerdiness/Cleverness
2.) Kindness (especially to animals, small children, and ugly people)
3.) Similar humor appreciation
4.) Being tall and fit, and having nice hands
5.) Being into words
6.) Being into music (‘specially the stuff I like *wink*)
7.) Being able to fix things…e.g. computers, bikes, me
Seven Things I Say Most Often
1.) Wha?
2.) TAKE THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.
3.) I like it, a LOT.
4.) yuP.
5.) Solid.
6.) FUCK.
7.) Daft prick! (Well not really, but I’ve been meaning to integrate that into my speech for ages, now. *wink*)
Celebrity Crushes (although I’d pick some solid, regular time alone with Lever, over any of these boys/girl)
1.) tobey mcguire
2.) bill murray
3.) ralph fiennes
4.) giovanni ribisi
5.) minnie driver
6.) cilian murphy
7.) john malkovich
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
The first time...
...I read your comment on my blog, I thought, "Oh, cool-a British dude."
...I read your blog, I thought "Dear god, is this the same language I speak?" Crisps, boot-of-a-car, bollocks, lorry, lilo, queue, banger racing, wedding tackle, titting-about, gaffs, baggies...good god—where's my urban dictionary?!? Of course, some of the confusion must have just been due to a broken "u" on the keyboard, because some of the words were spelled close to the proper spelling...cheque, manouevre, colour, honour, favour...but with an extra vowel tacked in there.
...I read your email I was school-girl happy. Mmmmm, a nice, clever, polite boy is emailing me...
...I got your text, I almost crashed my car, trying to find my phone and decrypt why it was making strange noises (I was not a texting-girl.) But the words made me squeal as I swerved down the highway, trying to read it...
...I heard your voice on my answering machine, I had the compulsion to practice saying your name over and over in your accent. (I still don't have it quite right.)
...We spoke on the phone, I could hardly understand what you were saying. Although, that was partly my fault for swooning over the sound of your voice—that sort of thing shuts down my brain function, including word comprehension. It was a v. short phone call. :D
...I laid eyes on you, I was nervous as f@%k and pretty damn tired to boot. Fortunately, you're cool about handling small talk without much reinforcement. ;)
...We hugged, I thought, "He's definitely my type of boy."
...We held hands, I was like a giggly school girl. It still sends me into wild bouts of uncontrollable happiness to think about it.
...You kissed my cheek, I was on some kind of high....
SO yeah, maybe next time we meet up, we can get to second base. (Second base was considered groping, right? It's been too long since middle school)...*wicked grin* You free to cross the Atlantic, babe? Soon, pahhleaze? *eye flutter*
Anyways, my sweetheart HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
...I read your blog, I thought "Dear god, is this the same language I speak?" Crisps, boot-of-a-car, bollocks, lorry, lilo, queue, banger racing, wedding tackle, titting-about, gaffs, baggies...good god—where's my urban dictionary?!? Of course, some of the confusion must have just been due to a broken "u" on the keyboard, because some of the words were spelled close to the proper spelling...cheque, manouevre, colour, honour, favour...but with an extra vowel tacked in there.
...I read your email I was school-girl happy. Mmmmm, a nice, clever, polite boy is emailing me...
...I got your text, I almost crashed my car, trying to find my phone and decrypt why it was making strange noises (I was not a texting-girl.) But the words made me squeal as I swerved down the highway, trying to read it...
...I heard your voice on my answering machine, I had the compulsion to practice saying your name over and over in your accent. (I still don't have it quite right.)
...We spoke on the phone, I could hardly understand what you were saying. Although, that was partly my fault for swooning over the sound of your voice—that sort of thing shuts down my brain function, including word comprehension. It was a v. short phone call. :D
...I laid eyes on you, I was nervous as f@%k and pretty damn tired to boot. Fortunately, you're cool about handling small talk without much reinforcement. ;)
...We hugged, I thought, "He's definitely my type of boy."
...We held hands, I was like a giggly school girl. It still sends me into wild bouts of uncontrollable happiness to think about it.
...You kissed my cheek, I was on some kind of high....
SO yeah, maybe next time we meet up, we can get to second base. (Second base was considered groping, right? It's been too long since middle school)...*wicked grin* You free to cross the Atlantic, babe? Soon, pahhleaze? *eye flutter*
Anyways, my sweetheart HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Monday, September 12, 2005
Walk it off
SO.
I ran in a half marathon recently.
(where ran= moved barely faster than a walk for 7 miles and then interspersed jogging and walking for the last 6.1)
Here is the main conclusion that I came to:
RUNNERS ARE COMPLETELY NUTTERS.
supported by....
They find their running time more important than:
a.) not littering (hence THOUSANDS of cups and food wrappers all over the course)
b.) using a toilet (I witnessed many in-the-woods style piss-breaks and heard tell of some that just went in their pants.)
c.) consuming non-engineered foods such as "goo" and "aminovital" (code for nasty-ass wanna-be food products that you should never, ever subject your poor, harmless taste buds to)
Here's my defense for why I did it anyways: (athough I certainly did NOT engage in littering or peeing in weird places)
a.) I'll try *just about anything* once
b.) They had bands. MANY, many bands.
c.) My siblings all did it.
d.) It was on Virginia beach....beauuuuutiful....
The funny part is, there have been consequences. I trained for this foolish stunt (although not enough, mind you) by running the 0.1 mile loop that I live on. Yeah, laugh it up. I *DID* have to run around like a *gerbil*, completing the loop 70 times for 7 miles, for example. The funny thing is, now there's this flock of biddies that have taken to fast-walking my loop. They're a group of gossiping, older ladies that have cumulatively lost 10 pounds in the last 3 weeks between moving their legs and their mouths. It induces me to laugh and laugh when I see what I have caused....
I ran in a half marathon recently.
(where ran= moved barely faster than a walk for 7 miles and then interspersed jogging and walking for the last 6.1)
Here is the main conclusion that I came to:
RUNNERS ARE COMPLETELY NUTTERS.
supported by....
They find their running time more important than:
a.) not littering (hence THOUSANDS of cups and food wrappers all over the course)
b.) using a toilet (I witnessed many in-the-woods style piss-breaks and heard tell of some that just went in their pants.)
c.) consuming non-engineered foods such as "goo" and "aminovital" (code for nasty-ass wanna-be food products that you should never, ever subject your poor, harmless taste buds to)
Here's my defense for why I did it anyways: (athough I certainly did NOT engage in littering or peeing in weird places)
a.) I'll try *just about anything* once
b.) They had bands. MANY, many bands.
c.) My siblings all did it.
d.) It was on Virginia beach....beauuuuutiful....
The funny part is, there have been consequences. I trained for this foolish stunt (although not enough, mind you) by running the 0.1 mile loop that I live on. Yeah, laugh it up. I *DID* have to run around like a *gerbil*, completing the loop 70 times for 7 miles, for example. The funny thing is, now there's this flock of biddies that have taken to fast-walking my loop. They're a group of gossiping, older ladies that have cumulatively lost 10 pounds in the last 3 weeks between moving their legs and their mouths. It induces me to laugh and laugh when I see what I have caused....
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Dangling
For those of you on the edge of your seats over the boy-drama in this
household, I thought I'd update you with the 3rd Triple B-Looty
Lovekins date (the 2nd was at his place....so all those reports would
just be heresy *wink*). Here is is. Triple B thought the food was
terrible and LL cried her eyes out for most of the evening. There was
no sharing the cool, green bike and no agreement on a show to watch.
The marbles, however, were magic. Sending marbles into unreachable
places such as down exhaust grates, behind heavy furniture, and into
dark corners made the 3-year-olds shine.....
household, I thought I'd update you with the 3rd Triple B-Looty
Lovekins date (the 2nd was at his place....so all those reports would
just be heresy *wink*). Here is is. Triple B thought the food was
terrible and LL cried her eyes out for most of the evening. There was
no sharing the cool, green bike and no agreement on a show to watch.
The marbles, however, were magic. Sending marbles into unreachable
places such as down exhaust grates, behind heavy furniture, and into
dark corners made the 3-year-olds shine.....
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Heart attack
Well, I guess not this time. As long as you look and don't lick...
[Butter sculpture at the 2005 NY State Fair]
[Butter sculpture at the 2005 NY State Fair]
Monday, August 29, 2005
Name calling....
Noel has decided that we are going to get a dog. Furthermore, we will call this (poor) dog "SUCKA". Yes that is as in "sucker", except the in-da-hood version.
Apparently. she has been expressing genes that were not inherited from me, recently.
Also, I will keep this in mind when she has a child of her own and is responsible for naming it. I will have to keep a close eye on the situation....
Apparently. she has been expressing genes that were not inherited from me, recently.
Also, I will keep this in mind when she has a child of her own and is responsible for naming it. I will have to keep a close eye on the situation....
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Today I am....
'Rebecca Rockland'
(Well, at least according to the most recent transcriptionist.)
Swwwweet!!
*grin*
I RRRRRRock!
(Well, at least according to the most recent transcriptionist.)
Swwwweet!!
*grin*
I RRRRRRock!
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Stay out of my Art
We had a mini-foray off to NYC yesterday afternoon. Our goal: The
Metropolitan Museum of Art. We did it, long into the evening. Too
bad there were an overabundance of security guards making silly,
irrational demands from square one. I was trying to enjoy ART, for
god's sake, do you mind taking your bullying elsewhere? (But then
again, Noel, SFMD & I ARE a v. suspicious bunch...better keep an eye on us!!
We might....I dunno...laugh too loud or something. *wink*)
Metropolitan Museum of Art. We did it, long into the evening. Too
bad there were an overabundance of security guards making silly,
irrational demands from square one. I was trying to enjoy ART, for
god's sake, do you mind taking your bullying elsewhere? (But then
again, Noel, SFMD & I ARE a v. suspicious bunch...better keep an eye on us!!
We might....I dunno...laugh too loud or something. *wink*)
Friday, August 19, 2005
9:30am: I've already done my damage today
Today kicked off awkwardly. Noel and I reluctantly went through the morning routine, acutely aware that having done this 4 other days this week, we were bored. However, we plodded on with the weekend and its little adventures in sight, and with prospects of a friend/dog visit. We arrived at Noel's babyschool and prepared to part, not before doing the usual friendly bits with the women there. I started up a conversation.....
BBFK: "How are you, J?"
J: "Good. Tired."
BBFK: "I saw you last night..."
J: "Oh, where was that?"
BBFK: "At your boyfriend's. [He lives 3 houses down from me.] I was out for a run and called your name to say hi..."
J: "....That wasn't me."
BBFK: *confused* "Oh. Well a girl parked her car and went to his house. She looked just like you, but it was dark, so I couldn't see her face clearly..." *trailing off + looking disheartened*
J: "What was she driving?"
BBFK: "A VW."
J: "Red?"
BBFK: "Yeah."
J: "Yeah...I know who she is."
BBFK: *deflated look + stumped for what to say, as "Sorry that I've just given you evidence that your boyfriend is fucking another woman" just didn't seem right*
BBFK: "Oh."
BBFK: "How are you, J?"
J: "Good. Tired."
BBFK: "I saw you last night..."
J: "Oh, where was that?"
BBFK: "At your boyfriend's. [He lives 3 houses down from me.] I was out for a run and called your name to say hi..."
J: "....That wasn't me."
BBFK: *confused* "Oh. Well a girl parked her car and went to his house. She looked just like you, but it was dark, so I couldn't see her face clearly..." *trailing off + looking disheartened*
J: "What was she driving?"
BBFK: "A VW."
J: "Red?"
BBFK: "Yeah."
J: "Yeah...I know who she is."
BBFK: *deflated look + stumped for what to say, as "Sorry that I've just given you evidence that your boyfriend is fucking another woman" just didn't seem right*
BBFK: "Oh."
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Jaw Drops...
You're Catch-22!
by Joseph Heller
Incredibly witty and funny, you have a taste for irony in all that you
see. It seems that life has put you in perpetually untenable situations, and your sense
of humor is all that gets you through them. These experiences have also made you an
ardent pacifist, though you present your message with tongue sewn into cheek. You
could coin a phrase that replaces the word "paradox" for millions of
people.
Yeah. And anyone that knows me, KNOWS that this is my favorite book of all time. *high fives the fabulous quizz makers at Blue Pyramid*
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
Thanks to the lovely Rebekah for this, BTW.....(http://antisocialtendencies.blogspot.com/)
The Current Reason Not To Have Fresh Blueberries in Cold Cereal....
.....You could die.
(Well, at least according to the resident expert, 3 yr old.)
No jokin' around there. No bother with a little, "I don't want it" or "We ate that yesterday, Mom." Nope, she went right in for the kill....no arguing with the ugly, tortured death induced by blueberries...
(Well, at least according to the resident expert, 3 yr old.)
No jokin' around there. No bother with a little, "I don't want it" or "We ate that yesterday, Mom." Nope, she went right in for the kill....no arguing with the ugly, tortured death induced by blueberries...
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Carnival
We had a classic festival outing.
We went on the rides.....
........The picture illustrates the headlock Noel puts me in as the
merry-go-round shakily starts, and continues to vibrate. She has a
stronger inhibition of danger than I do, apparently.
We played the games.....
.........Well, admittedly, just one, 'cause they are a rip-off and
they didn't even bother to have a duck-pond: the gold-standard in kids
festival games. The neighbor's scheme to assuredly win a prize for
Noel at the water-gun game (be the first bloke to squirt enough water
in a clown's mouth to break a balloon and win), was ruined when a
horde of straight-shooting kids showed up. Despite her brainstrom that
I should whore myself out in order to procure a nice, yellow, stuffed
duckling, I walked away. I felt complemented by her confidence in my
abilites to induce the gentleman game-operator to part with the
aforementioned duck, ("He's cute! Just batt your eyes and
smile...."), but the duck just wasn't THAT cute. And my girl already
has the amount of stuffed animals that should take 10 years to
accumulate (including a yellow duck, BTW)
We ate the food.....
........Although, here we diverged from the usual festival experience.
There was a cultural twist to this one. Instead of corn-dogs, cotton
candy, and fudge, the fare at this fest included
sausage/peppers&onions, cannolis, lemon ice, and pizza frittas.
Mmmmm...Evviva gli Italiano!
We went on the rides.....
........The picture illustrates the headlock Noel puts me in as the
merry-go-round shakily starts, and continues to vibrate. She has a
stronger inhibition of danger than I do, apparently.
We played the games.....
.........Well, admittedly, just one, 'cause they are a rip-off and
they didn't even bother to have a duck-pond: the gold-standard in kids
festival games. The neighbor's scheme to assuredly win a prize for
Noel at the water-gun game (be the first bloke to squirt enough water
in a clown's mouth to break a balloon and win), was ruined when a
horde of straight-shooting kids showed up. Despite her brainstrom that
I should whore myself out in order to procure a nice, yellow, stuffed
duckling, I walked away. I felt complemented by her confidence in my
abilites to induce the gentleman game-operator to part with the
aforementioned duck, ("He's cute! Just batt your eyes and
smile...."), but the duck just wasn't THAT cute. And my girl already
has the amount of stuffed animals that should take 10 years to
accumulate (including a yellow duck, BTW)
We ate the food.....
........Although, here we diverged from the usual festival experience.
There was a cultural twist to this one. Instead of corn-dogs, cotton
candy, and fudge, the fare at this fest included
sausage/peppers&onions, cannolis, lemon ice, and pizza frittas.
Mmmmm...Evviva gli Italiano!
Friday, August 12, 2005
Cool Kid at School......
....I'm definitely NOT. In fact, today I felt like a complete
recluse. That was sort of odd, considering I was in NYC for the day.
It's always weird feeling lonely when you're surrounded. I had the
distinct feeling all day that there was some big secret that I was not
privy to. Here are the incidences and observations which fed that
fire.....
1.) It all began when I spied a truck driving down the train tracks,
as I was sweating it out at the station (The East coast is currently
very stickystickysticky. Did I mention it's been humid out recently?)
Ummmmm....since when did TRUCKS drive on TRAIN tracks? (Check out the
picture....those red lights in the distance are the rear break-lights
of a truck.)
2.) The meeting that I had to attend was on a topic that I very
recently started learning about and only had a 17% likelihood of
pronouncing correctly. The people-involved rattled off acronyms and
technical jargon at a quick pace, oftentimes talking over each other.
Lucky me...I'm the lackey that gets to implement all their wording
desires...just as soon as I figure WTF they were talking about, that
is.
3.) Ripply-muscled cops jumped on our crammed elevator as we rode in
the wrong direction to the lobby. They bantered about a guy who was
"able to walk around." Um....yeah. Normally not a noteworthy skill.
(As a nice bonus, the cop took an extra second to make a single
comment to my boss that got her rattled enough to pull me aside for a
confidence boost sort-of-question. Props, NYPD.)
4.) A stretcher rolled out of the hotel to a near-by ambulance.
5.) After managing to squeeze my body into one of the 2 seats left on
the densely populated train and position my bag in a way that didn't
encroach on other people's space, I realized that the boob-level
button of my shirt had worked its way undone.
6.) I found the driver's side car mirror on Car-bie was scratched to
shit. *shrugs shoulders* Wasn't me. My poor wounded Car-bie, who
hurt you and how could they be so mean and careless? (Car-bie will
likely remain scarred...I'm too poor to worry about cosmetic fixes.)
[Note: Following a viewing of Herbie:Full Throttle, Noel christened
our car with the name, Car-bie.]
recluse. That was sort of odd, considering I was in NYC for the day.
It's always weird feeling lonely when you're surrounded. I had the
distinct feeling all day that there was some big secret that I was not
privy to. Here are the incidences and observations which fed that
fire.....
1.) It all began when I spied a truck driving down the train tracks,
as I was sweating it out at the station (The East coast is currently
very stickystickysticky. Did I mention it's been humid out recently?)
Ummmmm....since when did TRUCKS drive on TRAIN tracks? (Check out the
picture....those red lights in the distance are the rear break-lights
of a truck.)
2.) The meeting that I had to attend was on a topic that I very
recently started learning about and only had a 17% likelihood of
pronouncing correctly. The people-involved rattled off acronyms and
technical jargon at a quick pace, oftentimes talking over each other.
Lucky me...I'm the lackey that gets to implement all their wording
desires...just as soon as I figure WTF they were talking about, that
is.
3.) Ripply-muscled cops jumped on our crammed elevator as we rode in
the wrong direction to the lobby. They bantered about a guy who was
"able to walk around." Um....yeah. Normally not a noteworthy skill.
(As a nice bonus, the cop took an extra second to make a single
comment to my boss that got her rattled enough to pull me aside for a
confidence boost sort-of-question. Props, NYPD.)
4.) A stretcher rolled out of the hotel to a near-by ambulance.
5.) After managing to squeeze my body into one of the 2 seats left on
the densely populated train and position my bag in a way that didn't
encroach on other people's space, I realized that the boob-level
button of my shirt had worked its way undone.
6.) I found the driver's side car mirror on Car-bie was scratched to
shit. *shrugs shoulders* Wasn't me. My poor wounded Car-bie, who
hurt you and how could they be so mean and careless? (Car-bie will
likely remain scarred...I'm too poor to worry about cosmetic fixes.)
[Note: Following a viewing of Herbie:Full Throttle, Noel christened
our car with the name, Car-bie.]
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Bookmark or Buttfloss?
There's nothing like catching S completely unawares. The poor girl had
her mouth hung open long enough to consume a day's worth of protein
just from the bugs that entered! (Of course, she'd have a problem
with this because she would mourn the loss of all those bugs...she's
the sort that escorts bugs out of her house and gives them a little
cash to start a new home before sending them on their way. *wink*)
Anyways, when she arrived, the party for her was already in full
swing. We had consumed enough salad, sausage roll, fruit and cheese
appetizers to make us uncomfortable if we weren't sitting up straight,
done-in half the sherbet-champagne punch, and almost run out of
conversation. The party thrown by her soon-to-be-in-laws was in honor
of S's upcoming wedding, and was destined to be memorable, if only
because of the momentous amount of food (the main course included 7
large tins of Italian delicacies). There was a pedicure/manicure
station, a wine-tasting table, and scores of well-decorated tables
(with dragonflies for bug-loving S), all with a view of the ocean, as
we were a jump (literally) away from the beach. Thankfully, there was
drinking instead of guess-retarded-details-about-the-bride-to-be-games
and a stripper instead of um, er...actually the lack of any real
entertainment (like with other wedding showers I've been to). Yes, I
DID say a stripper...I'll get back to that. 'Course it was pretty
entertaining watching S wade through the tall pile of presents geared
at making her a homemaker. I had mine delivered by Noel, so as to add
another assurance of trust, beyond the obvious shape of the gift.
True-to-form, there was a book under the wrap. A cookbook to be more
precise. It was the bookmark that was the kicker (see photo). She
received the prescribed amount of kitchen appliances and tools,
candles, home-crotchet goods-destined never to leave the box, and
slinky underwear, i.e. buttfloss. Then policeman Giovanni showed up
because he'd heard S had been bad. He proceeded to flick his leather
belt in a whip-motion, handcuff S, take off his shirt, AND,
AND....that would be when the 3 year old and I took a walk. So much
for my first opportunity to see a stripper......We made it back for
the cake, cookies, and marshmallow salad though. I think I was in a
food-coma when I left, however, I was quite satisfied that S had been
thrown a party that sufficiently relished, embarrassed, and adored
her. Wishing you the best S and J.....
her mouth hung open long enough to consume a day's worth of protein
just from the bugs that entered! (Of course, she'd have a problem
with this because she would mourn the loss of all those bugs...she's
the sort that escorts bugs out of her house and gives them a little
cash to start a new home before sending them on their way. *wink*)
Anyways, when she arrived, the party for her was already in full
swing. We had consumed enough salad, sausage roll, fruit and cheese
appetizers to make us uncomfortable if we weren't sitting up straight,
done-in half the sherbet-champagne punch, and almost run out of
conversation. The party thrown by her soon-to-be-in-laws was in honor
of S's upcoming wedding, and was destined to be memorable, if only
because of the momentous amount of food (the main course included 7
large tins of Italian delicacies). There was a pedicure/manicure
station, a wine-tasting table, and scores of well-decorated tables
(with dragonflies for bug-loving S), all with a view of the ocean, as
we were a jump (literally) away from the beach. Thankfully, there was
drinking instead of guess-retarded-details-about-the-bride-to-be-games
and a stripper instead of um, er...actually the lack of any real
entertainment (like with other wedding showers I've been to). Yes, I
DID say a stripper...I'll get back to that. 'Course it was pretty
entertaining watching S wade through the tall pile of presents geared
at making her a homemaker. I had mine delivered by Noel, so as to add
another assurance of trust, beyond the obvious shape of the gift.
True-to-form, there was a book under the wrap. A cookbook to be more
precise. It was the bookmark that was the kicker (see photo). She
received the prescribed amount of kitchen appliances and tools,
candles, home-crotchet goods-destined never to leave the box, and
slinky underwear, i.e. buttfloss. Then policeman Giovanni showed up
because he'd heard S had been bad. He proceeded to flick his leather
belt in a whip-motion, handcuff S, take off his shirt, AND,
AND....that would be when the 3 year old and I took a walk. So much
for my first opportunity to see a stripper......We made it back for
the cake, cookies, and marshmallow salad though. I think I was in a
food-coma when I left, however, I was quite satisfied that S had been
thrown a party that sufficiently relished, embarrassed, and adored
her. Wishing you the best S and J.....
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Triple B and Looty Lovekins: Noel Notes
Noel to Mom: Your bummie's so BIG. My bummies so little.
(Noelspeak code: bummie=ass and BIG=grown-up....or so I like to tell
myself...*wink* *schedules in an extra run, just in case*)
Noel to Mom, again: You look so shiny, mama.
(Noelspeak code: shiny=good-to-me....not "dear god, please get some
soap for the oily-skin issue on your forehead.....!"
.....................................................................................
Tuesday.
BBFK arrives to pick up Noel. Noel runs to get Big Boy Bryant and
holding his hand, insists that he needs to come over to her house.
Triple B's Mom enters and negotiations begin for the "BIG HANGOUT".
Sensing that progress is being made, Triple B and Noel jump up and
down, shouting "YAY!" while still holding hands. Discussion of
logistics ensue between the Moms, during which Triple B insists that
he stay over "a very long time", while Noel starts haggling for a
sleepover. The sleepover idea is immediately refuted and the proper
etiquette is explained. The first date is a dinner only; sleepovers
need to happen later in the relationship. ;)
Wednesday:
Triple B and Noel have their first date.
Much jumping, toy-sharing, chalk-drawing, and Spiderman-viewing ensue.
Over homemade pepperoni pizza with a side of fresh carrots, Noel
offers to "tip" (code for "let's toast") and Triple B raises his glass
and says, "Cheers!". Plans for "BIG HANGOUT PART II: BIG BOY BRYANT'S
HOUSE" are discussed before the night is over.
Daddy comes to pick up Triple B, and Triple B is so distressed about
leaving Noel, he's not able to return a hug.
Thursday:
Noel returns the truck that Triple B had left at Noel's house.
(Noelspeak code: bummie=ass and BIG=grown-up....or so I like to tell
myself...*wink* *schedules in an extra run, just in case*)
Noel to Mom, again: You look so shiny, mama.
(Noelspeak code: shiny=good-to-me....not "dear god, please get some
soap for the oily-skin issue on your forehead.....!"
.....................................................................................
Tuesday.
BBFK arrives to pick up Noel. Noel runs to get Big Boy Bryant and
holding his hand, insists that he needs to come over to her house.
Triple B's Mom enters and negotiations begin for the "BIG HANGOUT".
Sensing that progress is being made, Triple B and Noel jump up and
down, shouting "YAY!" while still holding hands. Discussion of
logistics ensue between the Moms, during which Triple B insists that
he stay over "a very long time", while Noel starts haggling for a
sleepover. The sleepover idea is immediately refuted and the proper
etiquette is explained. The first date is a dinner only; sleepovers
need to happen later in the relationship. ;)
Wednesday:
Triple B and Noel have their first date.
Much jumping, toy-sharing, chalk-drawing, and Spiderman-viewing ensue.
Over homemade pepperoni pizza with a side of fresh carrots, Noel
offers to "tip" (code for "let's toast") and Triple B raises his glass
and says, "Cheers!". Plans for "BIG HANGOUT PART II: BIG BOY BRYANT'S
HOUSE" are discussed before the night is over.
Daddy comes to pick up Triple B, and Triple B is so distressed about
leaving Noel, he's not able to return a hug.
Thursday:
Noel returns the truck that Triple B had left at Noel's house.
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